teen and sexuality

Post Reply New Topic

I have a stepson 15 diagnosed with Aspergers. He lives with me full time for the last 7 years. Over the last 2 month I have been finding porn pics of women age 40ish, hard core not playboy. I have also found pictures on his camera of his privates my longerie is also missing. Yesterday I found my video camera in his room and after looking at the tapes found that my bedroom has been taped. Not sure how to handle this. Not sure I can take much more I am at my last straw. Please any advice. The lack of respect and violation of privacy is intolerable.

Has no one dealt with teenage sexual misconduct.

Nothing to do with aspies. Teenage boy wise I'd suspect that was slightly normal.

I once had a step-father, he always seemed to get mad at me but leave his sons unscaved.. Almost like he was mad at me all the time just for being a part of the family.

He is my only son, i have no children of my own for him to compete with. The porn would not bother me except to her age and the fact that she kinda looks like me. Most children as far as I am aware are not interested in seeing thier parents naked so trying to film me naked in my own bedroom would not be considered normal adolescent behavior. That is definitely crossing boundaries i'm just not sure what to do about it. The constant stealing of my underwear also crosses boundaries.

Have you tried asking him about it?

He says he didn't do it. When I showed him the video where he is clearly shown setting the camera up he says he must have blacked out and he cannot remeber doing this. This has been his response to anything he doesn't want to fess up to.

Schedule yourself some psychology appointments to get a professional's opinion. It's sounds to me like your step-son hasn't made the connection that you are a parent. His behavior may be disturbing but understand that fantasy is what drives sexual desires and if this kid thinks you are an outside source of sexual satisfaction it would not be unnatural for him to include you in his sexual fantasies. See a professional before anything else but I believe that if you confront him about his adolescent perversions about you it will scatter the fantasy and he will direct his raging hormones elsewhere.

Thank you for your insight. The thought of him finding me sexual is a little weird for me but I think you might be onto something. I hate to lock everything in my house and walk around with a bunch of keys but the privacy violation is driving me crazy. I'll seek therapy for him.

Glad I could help. Seeking therapy for yourself as well could alleviate stresses.

I have an AS stepson who is 14 who has been taking all of my hair accesories, like hair bands, hair clips, barrettes, etc. He has been going through other things in my bedroom also. I have told him over and over again that he is not allowed to take my things but he does anyway. We just put a new door knob on our bedroom door and we have been locking it when we leave. Maybe try that. Even if you have to put some sort of a new lock on there. Because, I am freaked by the invasion of privacy that I am dealing with but would be mortified if I found out that he was doing things like your stepson and hope to god that my stepson's interest in my things doesn't somehow develope into more extreme behavior.

Umm, yeah, that's not normal behaviour, not for an NT, not otherwise...

Having him talk to someone might not be an immediate help, he may take it as an attack... But definitly do what you can before this strange obsession turns into something more. I do though agree that a psych could be a big help in trying to identify the causes of it, and try to steer him away from it. Another thing to try would be to have his father talk to him about it in a very caring sort of way, and by that I mean have him talk in a supportive manner, and not directly condemn or put down anything about it, avoiding the fact that it is wrong until you know the causes. Then see a professional about what you have learned and how best to deal with it. His father is probably the most likely person he will open up to about it if guided that way, and shown only care and support by the father, as it is a person who should be able to relate to the son on a sexuality level, and this relating may reveal something, especially if it is just about support, and not judgement. Leave judgement until you have a professional opinion on how to react to his reasons.

Thanks for all your suggestions. My husband has finally got my stepson to confess to his behavior. We have not gotten to the core reason but we are working on that. I have discussed this issue with a pediatric behaviorist as well as a psychiatrist and autism advocate. We start family therapy on Friday to repair the bridge that has been damaged. What I have found disturbing with all this is that everyone I have spoken with professionally were not surprised and had heard all this before. This was news to me. If I had know in advance that Sexuality issues and obsessions were to be expected they could have been possible headed off and avoided. I hope you can all learn from what I am going thru and avoid this with your own family. I have been told that this is not necessarily a stepparent issue and this can be with a biological mom as well.

God bless you all!

I used to have a special liking for mature woman when I was younger, never my own mother though, maybe if I had a sexy stepmother (it'd be kind of weird lusting over a woman that was with my father though). But thats the least of my very odd sexual fetish's when I was younger, I did grow out of it though. I would never have dreamed of being as obvious and creepy about it as your stepson was.

I am concerned with what I am going to be dealing with now that my 14 year old AS stepson is going through puberty because I do think he is having some sexuality issues already. When you say that the professionals you talked to were not surprised and had heard of things like that before, if you don't mind, what types of sexuality issues and obsessions had they seen frequently before? Thank you for any info.

I was told by our pediatric behaviorist that 30-40% of sexual predators, pedophiles, have aspergers. That these kids have trouble getting girls of their own appropriate age so they go after young girls that they can manipulate and control. Our doctor also said that this wasn't the first video incident and that inappropriate touching is usually an issue. For those of you with aspergers I apologize if these comments offend you but they are what I was told. When I googled "sexual deviant, Aspergers" I got alot of information.

Hope this helps any of you also going through this but I wish I had known what to look out for so this could possible have been prevented before we got this far.

We are sending him to see an psychologist who specialty is addictions. We hope for the best

God Bless.

Wow, thank you for making me aware of that. I knew that there are sexual issues sometimes and gender issues and definitely often innappropriate touching issues. But I was unaware of a statistic like that. I am going to look into this more too. thanks again. I just want to be prepared and aware.