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Did you ever get real tired and irritated with the other parents that have their children in special ed with yours? Listen to this: My son gets mainstreamed and now I'm getting dirty looks from the other parents whose kids need more services. What is special ed to them - a race to get out or something?! Then I run into one whose daughter was mainstreamed before my son. I thought I was doing the right thing to tell her that author Tony Attwood wrote a REALLY good book called "Asperger's and Girls". She chewed me out and said that wouldn't really be necessary. Does this woman think that once you're mainstreamed, that you're "cured" and that autistic traits miraculously go away? I know they're in pain and hate the labels and are probably sick to death of the words "Autism" and "Asperger's" but man, get real already!
A lot of parents kid themselves. They accuse a school distrcit of calling their kid defective. The schools try to help. It's the parents who feel "defective". They project that image on the kid and the school. I met a woman who complained about her "adopted' daughter's autism for longer than an hour when I was trying to watch a school performance in peace. I felt like choking her because I'll never have that moment again! A full hour of her crap. The truth is this: She was nervous to have a child at her older age so she adopted and surely didn't think she 'd get one with a disability. She ragged on and on trying to convince herself that she is alright with this whole situation and that she loves this kid. I think she feels "betrayed" by the system and "stuck".
It's going to take the strenght of Wonderwoman to get her through. I do feel for this woman "a little bit" but I really can't stand her. I'll tell you why. Her daughter was new to our school. She was paired off with my son who is a recent mainstreamer. This woman was pissed that her daughter wasn't paired off with the "white" autistic boy. Her husband said, "Well, our daughter is Chinese." She said, "Well, we're white." Why didn't she adopt a "white" child then? Her daughter was paired off with my son because he is a gentleman. The other autistic "white" child is potentially violent when distressed. I disliked that woman ever since. "The white savior of the Chinese race". My son did well in his performance but the woman's husband insulted him about "saying his lines so well, but did he really 'understand' what he was saying!" My son didn't hear him and I ignored it because those two are "stuck" with themselves and the "burden" of their expectations. Their not "stuck" with their adopted, autistic daughter. She's "stuck" with them. It's "her misfortune" that she was adopted by "them". I guess some people don't see how transparent they are. They go about with their life as if they trying to clean off the dirt. The dirt that was thrown at them at the time of diagnosis. The grand label. I NEVER hated a couple as much as I hate them two.
I wish I could go and start telling people the F off but in reality you really can't. It's best to just walk away and go back to your own life. Then you get the ones who are so desparate for their kid to have a friend that they pick your kid and the devil cares if it's a "help" to your kid but as long as it benefits their child, then this makes it okay. Even if their child actually "hurts" yours.
Oh! and then you have ones that think all the kids are alike...just because their kid always has his finger in his ass, so does yours. (exagerration...but I think some of you know what I mean). They're just as bad as the labelers. And the ones that say they have another "Bill Gates"...but "you" don't. Now, I CRINGE every time I have to go to a school function. I feel like I have the liberty to tell people to stay the F away from me but my husband (devout Christian won't have it!). I know he's right. So I decided to hide somewhere until I have to go in the class or a performance starts.
Soooo selfish some of them are! When I first put my child in a general classroom, the parents were horrible. Even in special ed, they were horrible! If any of you find truly good people to befriend, hold on to them because they are rare! Sorry, but I really needed to vent. People are a lot like dogs, when in pain, they bite ya! As if you were causing it! They get some s**t on them and they go about spreading it around!! Summer and the end of school is upon us with the B.S. again: The fake smiles, and invitations to "come and let us take advantage of you and yours." NEVER AGAIN! Better to sign your kid up for summer camp and keep 'em busy until school starts. Stay with what and who you know not the people who try to project an illusion. I'm so tired of people's nonsense! Those poor teachers! They catch the heat when one or two students get mainstreamed and the rest (their child especially) don't, as if the teachers are miracle workers. They get "visibly" angry and jealous at you and the teachers as if you were involved in some kind of scheme to get your child out of special ed and to have theirs held back. They're "really" sick. Maybe they should get mad at God. These people are raising kids yet their own upbringing isn't really up to par. They're not really grown up. My son is 10 now and I've learned sooo much about people in the last 10 years that I feel I've earned a master's in psychology just by freakin' observation. It's unreal! Could it be that these parents always felt defective form the beginning and that a diagnosis put upon their off -spring is the proof of it?! I'm starting to think that's the truth. Maybe some day someone of importance will institute a law stating that you can't have kids until you take a psychological test. If you fail, then tubal ligations and vasectomies will happen. They don't fight "over" their kids, they fight over their own egos.

That poor little girl to get suck with such a pair of SOBs. Your right some of the parents you end-up dealing with in schools make you wonder why they had kids in the first place. I've had trouble with both the kids my older son who's been in NT classes from pre-k and is now going in to 7th grade.When my older son was in pre-k-2nd grade have had some mothers that would show up for the classroom partys with a big group of younger kids bring nothing and eat everything in sight snaching goodie bags from the kids that were in that class, btw the parents that did this had better incomes then my husband and I< I stay at home with the kids and my husband was a Airman in the AF at the time>. One of these women would always take creit for the other mothers work. In my younger sons class it's been ethier noone carres to show up to help with the kids at all or they only do when the kids are doing something "fun" or the parents would got something for being there I.E. a free trip to a theme park <were as soon as they get threw the gate they take off for the day and never help with the kids>.Next time try and sit somewere away from the crazy lady and if she does weesle up to you tell here to please stop taking your trying to hear the kids maybe she'll get the point. Best of luck dealing with those yabows.

I'm glad we all have this place to vent. I am sorry you've had reason to feel so frustrated.

That one couple you talked about sounds downright racist to me. Really wierd. That makes me worry for their child.

Sometimes, though, maybe you could ease up on other people - I've put my foot in my mouth with some pretty grand gestures when it comes to making conversation in real life. But I don't think that is who I am, when it comes to my heart. Tactless, yes. Heartless, no. Perhaps some of those parents fit that description, if you try a little patience with them? Lol, yes, in part I read through your post and wondered how many times someone may have thought some of those things about me.