Drivers License for my teenage Aspie?! !! !! EEEK!

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Hello All!
I'm brand-spanking-new to this site. My 15 1/2 yr old Aspie son is wanting to get his driver's license. Initially I was freaked out at the idea. In college I did a paper about the hightened risks that teenager's face when driving due to brain develop. The part of the brain that weighs risks doesn't fully develop until our early 20's. I didn't get my license until I was 17. So the idea of him getting his license, even just his learner's license, made me cringe. But then I got to thinking, the local state laws say that when your 18 yrs old you can get your license without any formal training, just as long as u can pass the test. I got visions of his friends trying to teach him to drive. So I guess the point of this post is to ask if anyone has any pointers on methods to teach my Aspie son to drive. Does anyone know of Driving Schools that have special training for our kids? I read some posts from other Aspies that gave me some insight, but I would like some tips from a parent's point of view.

My parents said to me, "you can learn to drive whenever you want, you however, are paying for everything" and that stopped me learning to drive until I was 23

I don't have anything specific, just a general observation that many AS acquire their licenses later than their NT peers and discover that driving is quite difficult for them. It is one of the ultimate multi-tasking, hand-eye coordination functions of this world. But from conversations on these forums, I would also say that most AS seem to become keenly aware of these issues as soon as they try to learn. There is no harm in getting the learner's permit so that he can drive under your eye, but you can create some hefty conditions for getting the final license.

From my own experience of learning to drive, the teacher has to be able to be gently assertive. It's scary learning and so you need a teacher for him that is calm but also one who he will respect. You don't need a special needs teacher, just one who is a good teacher and fills the above criteria. No point shelling out lots of money, his or yours, on a bad teacher.

Good luck in your search, best ask other people who are learner drivers about their teachers.

Where I got my learner's permit they had a rather ridiculous setup. You had to sit through 40 hours of class and learn things which were completely useless. Such as how to signal left hand turns from a trailer if your blinkers dont work. At the same time, you were given 5 'driving lessons'. These driving lessons put you behind the wheel for 40 minutes as you went around the parking lot, and then up and down the back streets. This gave you a grand total of 3 hours and 20 minutes driving experience.

You then had to take a standard written test which just tested your ability to repeat back the useless information they forced you to learn. I passed this easily since I can memorize and repeat stuff.

Then there was a driving test which required you to pretty much drive across town and back. I failed my first attempt at this test because shockingly I couldn't learn how to drive in only 3 hours. And of course the driving 'school' that I went to refused to let me try again unless I was willing to pay to take the entire class over. So yeah, that was a complete waste of my time.

The next summer (when I was almost 17) I just went to the course offered by the local high school, and paid them a small sum to let me take the test again. Since I passed the written and driving test I was able to get my driving permit.

What really helped me, was my father taking me to a wide open parking lot (sports arenas have huge empty parking lots when it isnt game day), and just practicing driving one step at a time over the course of several weeks. It was actually illegal for me to be driving in the parking lot without a drivers permit, but how in the world do they expect people to get a driver's permit without spending time learning? It is ridiculous, and the only real way to get a license is to break the law.

Start simply by just working on pulling into a parking spot, backing out, and then driving down the rows to another parking spot. At first, dont even try using the gas pedal. Disable it somehow by either unbolting the gas pedal from the linkage, or putting a block behind it. Just work with the brake, you will get plenty of speed for parking and going up and down rows without the gas. Then after your son is comfortable with that, try the gas pedal a little bit. Then try just driving up and down back roads in your neighborhood. I wouldnt recommend going on the free way. After your son has become familiar with the basics and feels comfortable driving around parking lots and back roads at low speed, you can then enroll him in a driving class where he can learn the rest. The idea is just to get him used to driving and comfortable with operating a vehicle before he goes to driving school.

As for your son's brain not being completely developed yet, yes that is true. That is why I would not suggest putting him in charge of managing your retirement fund. But simply going across town to hang out with a friend is not something which requires a great deal of risk assessment.

I got my learners licence at the age of 16.I could have gotten it earlier, but I procrastinated.I didnt get my license until I was 22 due to my parents procrastinating in teaching me.Eventually I gave up on waiting for them, and took drivers training, and after 20 hours of class instruction on top of only 10 from my parents, I basically learned to drive in 30 hours total of instruction overall.It wasnt my AS that prevented me from getting it earlier, but procrastination on everyones part.I however, found it easier to learn to drive when I was older and had more experience.Playing drums, chopping wood, and hard work, helped me improve my coordination and sharpened my mind as far as stamina goes.My mind is more alert and able to judge if I have exercise and am not tired.

Forgive me for rudeness, but is your child intelligent/good at schoolwork? If so, check with your insurance agent about any good student benefits, as well as a safe driving program offered for teens. I know with State Farm that they gave me discounts for completing a safe driving seminar, as well as getting good grades. Of course, they all had disappeared on prom night when I got those goddamn blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror, but hopefully your kid won't make the same mistake.

15- to 19-year-olds have lower accident death rates (33.0 per 100,000 population) than Americans as a whole (37.6)—and considerably lower than Americans ages 40–44 (40.4) or 45–49 (40.7) (Centers for Disease Control, “WISQARS Injury Mortality Reports, 1999–2003”).


http://www.fair.org/index.php?page=3061

In future, avoid using The Washington Post as a scholarly reference about brain development.

I got my licence at 17, so did you, why not your kid?

In our family dad taught the eldest to drive, then she (the eldest child) taught the middle child, then he taught me (the youngest). That way you don't have to teach all of them. Also that way you are responsible for their driving skills.

i got my license at 16. my daughter got hers at 17, but could have at 16 - she just never needed to.

we are both good drivers. i grew up in a very rural area so i spent a lot of time driving around aimlessly as a teen, as i actually used to enjoy driving then. it was like a giant video game and i became very, very good at downshifting to make a corner well, etc.... my daughter hasn't had quite as much experience and is very cautious when driving as we live in a very large and very car-insane city. but i would let her drive me anywhere, as she's so paranoid about what the other idiots on the road are going to be doing that she's a very defensive driver.

state farm does, indeed, have a very nice discount for good students. it will carry on after the kid leaves school, if they graduate with a diploma, too.

I got my license when I was 19 or 20 I think.

I find driving easy...except for the fact that I need a car with lots of leg-room. Being over six foot, my leg cramps in the current car I'm using (my mothers) and as such, I can't really drive for long periods.

Since I'm constantly looking around to stay aware of my surroundings, I took naturally to mirrors. I have a bit of trouble with turning in that I slow down too much when turning but...it WAS my first time.

That said...driving can be easy if you start out small. Go to an empty parking lot a bit after sunset so your son isn't blinded by the sunlight and just gently coach him through.

Is your car automatic or manual, curiously? Auto's are easier for aspies.

aspies who tend to have problems driving seem to often have spacial/depth perception problems too which would have shown up by now, maybe in hand/eye co-ordination stuff.

To answer some questions... he does well in school, so I'll check out the state farm insurance. We live in the US, in Ohio. He doesn't have any spacial issues that I'm aware of.

I love this site, by the way. I did a search and found a ton of posts on the subject of driving. It really helped relieve some of my fears related to him driving. I was worried mostly about his short attention span, but from what I've been reading it seems that most Aspies find driving to keep their attention span better. Most of everyone on here that got their licenses were fine and only spoke of getting nervous in the same situations that make me nervous - noisy passengers, driving to someplace that you've never been, etc.

I'm the type of person that feels better about things when I have gathered more knowledge. I think I will get him his driver's permit in the next few months and start teaching him slowly in safe places as suggested by others on here. About 6 years ago I had a step-daughter who I had to teach to drive and I was a nervous wreck! I guess I was still feeding off of that bad experience. I think it will be key for me to stay calm because he seems to get nervous when I'm nervous.

I would take some time to access whether or not he should even be driving at all. My neuro-psychologist said no driving for me and I did not even try until I was 23 and then it was a nightmare and to this day at 32 I still don't have a license.