I'm Really Sick Of My Mom

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jj

All I can say is, you don't seem likely to repeat your mother's mistakes. I think you've learned the hard way the men to avoid.

Many black people are ravishingly beautiful, far prettier than me, and I am white. If you think white people are more attractive, it might be because our media always focuses on how beautiful white women are.

I think you've learned a lot by this. Your Mum won't change, she can't see how her actions are wrong for her and those around her. Best get out when you can, get to collage and get a good job if you can.

I can't understand why she's paying for his rent, I also can't understand why he thinks that he could throw out the rent payer either though. Best to get yourself out of there when you can. Is your brother living in his own place or there? Because if he has his own place I can't understand why she'd want him to pay towards her boyfriends place.

You're right that she should get and pay for her own place and stop bothering you about it, you're young, you shouldn't have to deal with this.

It's hard to do, Travell, but your mom's an adult and it's her life to live. You've got your own life to live and she shouldn't be burdening you with her problems. My suggestion is, once your high school education is over get a bus pass and enroll in college -- preferably one where you can live on-campus.

Regards,

Patricia

A lot of women have no real self esteem. It sounds like your mom is one of them. Its impossible to figure it all out and break it down on a message board, but I feel sorry for her. Still, feeling sorry for someone and allowing them to pass their burdens onto you are two different things. You don't have to alllow her burdens to mar your life, and should not allow them to.

Starting to work over vacations and making plans for college are both good things. Learning independence and developing skills will help you find your own future. It is exactly what you should be doing at this point in your life; the motivation doesn't really matter, just try hard to keep the bitterness in check doing interviews. Stay pointed towards the future and focused on positive things.

Good luck.

I'm sorry your having such a hard time with your mother. I agree that you should move out as soon as you are able. I don't know what it is with some women and the need to hang on to lossers but this is something you can't do anything about. She's got to deside that she's done with it a ready to move on. To me it sounds like fear of being with out a man. This isn't something that just happend with black women. My sister is married to an assclown that got there house forclosed on not because they could pay the bills but because he lied about paying them and spent the money on boozze and I fairly sure hookers. No matter how many times my mother and I tell her to leave and even offer her a place to live she won't leave and now they are trying to have a 2nd child. Ever hear you can lead a horse to water but you can make them drink? I think you mother is deeply unhappy and loney and thats why she wants your brother to move back in and for you to not learn how to drive so it's harder for you to leave. I hope things go better for you. best of luck.

Sorry to hear bout your situation.My grandfather did not get along with his father, and at age 17, he went off and joined the Canadian Military.Its up to you what you want to do, but if your mom refuses to teach you to drive or help you gain independance, there is a way you can still get out of your situation.They can teach you to drive and you will learn many skills and they will also pay for your college education.

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