A lot of women have no real self esteem. It sounds like your mom is one of them. Its impossible to figure it all out and break it down on a message board, but I feel sorry for her. Still, feeling sorry for someone and allowing them to pass their burdens onto you are two different things. You don't have to alllow her burdens to mar your life, and should not allow them to.
Starting to work over vacations and making plans for college are both good things. Learning independence and developing skills will help you find your own future. It is exactly what you should be doing at this point in your life; the motivation doesn't really matter, just try hard to keep the bitterness in check doing interviews. Stay pointed towards the future and focused on positive things.
Good luck.
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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).