How did/do you know or what made you think

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Your child had/has AS? What made you seek an evaluation?

I always knew something was different about my son, he didn't want to play with the other kids, he was extremely emotional/sensitive. He appeared much younger than kids his age, he didn't like to try new things. He used to (and still does) talk to himself, and the list of "differences" goes on, but I had never thought autism/aspergers. He had gotten an ADHD dx when he was 7, but it never quite fit. It wasnt until our new pead asked me on the first or second visit if my son was in special school, that peeved me no end. Then on the 3rd visit he said he wanted him evaluated for autism. So of course I was racking my brains after I left "What was J doing to make the doc think that?" He had been sitting cross leg on one of the docs chairs, mumbling to himself with chewing gum stuck to his fingers twirling and pulling at the gum and watching the patterns. He also wouldn't really look at the doc when he spoke to him. I was skeptical and devastated to start with, now approx 18 months after the AS dx and I have had a crash course in aspergers and might I add am still learning what this all means to my son, it all makes perfect sense.

It's not easy though ruling out what is AS and what is perhaps a co-morbid or something else entirely.

Having had all the wrong stereotypes in my head about ASD I would never in a million years have guessed my child was any version of autistic. I knew he was different, but he seemed very social, unusually bright, and so on.

By the end of his K year, however, we were asking a lot of "why's." WHY won't he write, given that he started trying to write at age 3 and even correctly figured out how to spell his preschool teacher's name? WHY is there such a large gap between perceived intelligence, and his ability to perform in school? WHY is he so rapidly starting to withdraw from things he once loved, like learning?

At our first conference in 1st grade, the teacher said right out that she was afraid to ask us this, but she thought our son needed evaluation. She didn't want us to get upset, and was worried we would. I said, "thank you." It was a relief to know that she saw what I saw, "something" going on that we couldn't quite grasp. When we later got to the conclusion of ASD, that surprised her, but she started the ball rolling on a process that with twists and turns and maternity leaves and eventually a good deal of pushing from us took over a year.

By the time we got the conclusion of ASD, we knew it was coming, and had done our own reading and research, and knew it fit. Quite an eye opening process, and stressful, but when it fits, you know it.

It never occurred to me that my son had Asperger's, or that he was on the spectrum - I actually didn't really know much about the spectrum back then. In 2002, there was much less awareness or publicity than there is now. I had him evaluated because there were some "incidents" at school that caused school to request that I do so. The principal was SURE that he would be found to have ADHD. I knew that he wouldn't, since he tended to be hyper-focused, if anything, and was definitely not easily distracted. He also was not at all hyperactive. There were other things that she was SURE were going to show up that didn't, and I knew wouldn't. I was happy that she was wrong, because she was being an idiot, but I was very surprised when he was diagnosed with Asperger's. It fit, though (once I did my research about what Asperger's was), and as he's grown up, it's fit even more. The diagnosis is really not the issue for us so much - the issue is making sure that he has teachers who understand how he learns and what he needs. His "skill set" is uneven - he's great at math, really good at science, loves to read, but has difficulty with writing. His difficulty with writing is due to multiple issues: he has trouble getting his thoughts from pictures to words, and then from his brain to his fingers to the paper. His hand gets fatigued quickly, so typing is essential; a scribe is sometimes necessary, and when that isn't necessary, a computer is. Also, he has difficulty with the fact that there are often no "right" and "wrong" answers in essays - there might be in the total picture, but not in the individual words, and for children like my son, that can be excruciating. I guess this is more information than you asked for, but it's part of the package.

Not at all Jat, i want as much info, particularly anecdotal info, as i can get.

Thank you all so much for sharing your stories, it helps me be more confident about what i'm doing for madam.

We noticed differences as a baby, even though as a baby, he seemed very social and was a really fun baby. He never really looked at you if you talked to him, he avoided looking at the camera when we took pictures, he didn't have shared focus (didn't point out things to you with his finger). When he was around 15 months, he became much less social, didn't know how to play with other kids, wasn't as jovial or interested in other people, and his language skill acquisition stalled.

By the time he became quite antisocial in his preschool, and his teachers began the painful process of telling me that they thought he needed to be evaluated, I knew in my heart that this had something to do with autism. I don't know where I got that idea, . . . it just crept up until I couldn't deny it any longer.

The first time anyone mentioned Autism was when my toddler son would 'freak out' at the doctor's office. The only reference I had to autism was Rainman, and I knew my son wasn't like that... LOTS of kids freak out when they see a doctor! LOL! Our pediatrician really should have explained WHY she felt it may be a sign of autism mixed in with his other 'symptoms'. I was a first time mom and I was in a marriage where I was being emotionally abused. I was literally cut off from society in general. I had no clue that my son was behind developmentally until one day a neighbor with a granddaughter my son's age asked if the little girl could use the restroom. My son was just over 3 yrs old. This little girl could talk and was potty-trained, and could drink from an open glass! I was horrified that my son was so far behind and made an appointment with the pediatrician who said "You finally came around to my side, huh?" That was rude considering the only mention of autism was a conversation that lasted all of one minute!

My son was diagnosed ADHD at 7, and I felt like it didn't completely fit. 2.5 years later, we have a clear diagnosis, which is AS/ADHD comorbid. He also freaked out if anyone touched his train tracks or engines and watched Thomas videos obsessively. Then in Kindergarten, he would curl up on the floor under his chair and started repeating TV/movie quotes. In first grade, his teacher was surprised that noone picked up on this before. But he liked to play with other kids and met all of his milestones, so it took longer to recognize what he had going on.

My son started off with a speech delay and was in early intervention at 18 months. At his next evaluation, he had excelled in his speech, but numerous motor delays were discovered and he's been in PT and OT ever since. I always knew something was not quite typical, especially watching him play with other toddlers. If a toy was taken away from him by another child, he would just looked confused and then find something else to do. He would never take away anyone else's toy, I think because he was/is easily intimidated. He has always been a lover, not a fighter. Then he started showing fear of typical child's play like jumping and sliding. Sensory issues, especially with food, were always present, and he always hated getting dirty. He has also had low muscle tone and loose joints since babyhood. Then at age 2 he started with obsessions. First it was Blue's Clues for a year, then GeoTrax (mostly just lining them up). I said the word autistic once when he was 2 and everyone thought I was nuts - typical 1st time mom worrying over nothing. But at age 4, his OT voiced her concerns and mentioned Asperger's. I ran to the computer to find out what exactly that was and in about 5 minutes, I knew she hit the nail on the head. His other 3 teachers agreed with this suspicion. It was actually relieving to find one cohesive explanation for everything. We previously had him checked out for MD (runs in the family), and the doctor said his muscles were weak because he was lazy and that I didn't motivate him enough to get moving. It would be nice if more people (doctors too) knew about autism spectrum disorders.

Was always a little behind the other kids his age but all the ones he played with were girls so I thought well girls just talk more then boys do and he was behind were his older brother was at the same age but again I told myself Alex was talking at two months old it wouldn't be fair to compare the two kids. It didn't gt realy bad until just before his 3rd birthday but we were moving from LA <the state> to a Airforce base in Europe so we were all very busy and both kids were very stressed lots of crying and acting out from both kids also I had been very sick and lost some of my hearing due to this so I thought Jake was still talking and I was just missing it. When the move was over and I was getting his older brother set -up in his new DOD school the I brought Jake with me to the meets with the new teacher and she sujected that we get jake in to the preschool program. the rest is a long painful road of bad doctors, long road trips and finding out that DOD schools don't have to follow IEPs just the "spirt" of them, oh a social worker that didn't know what autism was and thought because we were "young" that we should put jake in a home and "try again". I'm so glad to off that base. Rambley and venty I know but I still get mad when ever I think of that time.

Noticed differences between my boys and the other kids from the earliest age, but I just thought they were smarter, more energetic, more curious, observant etc. Both were early at everything (except potty training, late there). We figured we were dealing with giftedness, and attributed sensory stuff to their severe allergies. I had also been a gifted, but very sensitive, anxious child, so it all seemed to fit.

As DW said, the gap between perceived intelligence and performance became apparent in kindergarten. Example: they were already reading at home, but teachers perception was that they didn't even know their alphabet very well?! Teachers assured us that it was "social immaturity" that they would outgrow. Pediatrician was so utterly charmed by their precociousness (little professors ) that she had no worries at all. By the end of grade 1 we were thinking possible ADHD and requested assessment, with teacher's agreement. By mid grade 2, gaps between them and the other children were impossible to miss and sensory problems were causing frequent meltdowns. We decided to get a private assessment and the psych suggested AS was a possibility after the first meeting. We had never even heard of it.

Looking back I can now see Aspie written all over their behaviour from infancy (pre vaccination for anyone who is curious ). They were wretched sleepless little creatures as babies, who would only stop crying if rocked constantly. They were happy, sleepless, voraciously curious toddlers (about things not people though), who were constantly on the move. As preschoolers they were both obsessed with trains, amassing encyclopedic stores of knowledge about types of trains and how they worked. They had sensory issues (only specific clothing, foods etc.), no interest in the other kids, teeth rattling meltdowns, no sense of danger and were hyposensitive to pain...and you guessed it, never, ever wanted to sleep! I still get tired just thinking about those days. But we sure did have fun too! And I retain quite a bit of random train knowledge to this day.