Mom wants more info on Transition to Adulthood

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Hi,

My name is Ellen and I have a 16 yo Aspie. I have posted before with apparently a very bad description of what my problem with my son was. First, I want to apologize to all those out there that were confused by my posts on "16 yo without a clue". I have been corresponding with a poster on the site and understand that I really botched that whole thing up. I first said that my son was perfect and then explained that I was imposing very harsh punishments. That was very confusing to all of you . I am sorry . I did not give an accurate portrayal of what was happening, and your reactions were appropriate in the beginning and snowballed after I continued to be unclear about what I wanted.

I really don't want to revisit this, but I wanted you to know that I am sorry. I was assuming that I was posting on a forum only for parents of those with autism, and explained myself very poorly for the audience that it really was .

Please let's let the previous topic die - it was not worded well, it did not help me , and only upset those on wrongplanet . I am trying to start anew .

'nough said.

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After much searching of my own mind , I decided that what I really wanted to understand was the transition from adolescence to adulthood so that I could use your experiences as a "looking-glass" into my son's possible future.

I have put together a survey that addressed my concerns. Please know that this is a completely anonymous survey and there is no way for me to figure out who you are unless you give identifying information. I will be sharing the results on this website and other listservs that I belong to. This sharing will include comments, so please if you want to be anonymous, do not enter identifying information.

I would appreciate if your responses to the survey could be candid: honest and open. Being very concerned about your feelings, I have run the survey past the person whom I have been emailing from wrongplanet - another person with Aspergers. While I cannot speak for others, I myself, will not be placing any judgment on your responses. I just want to know what I can expect from those with Asperger's/Autism so that I react appropriately as my son proceeds through this transitional process. I am also hoping that this information will help other parents and their young adults with autism who are in the same place as I am now.

If you have autism AND are at least 16; OR your have autism AND you remember your years between 16 and 25 (my son does not remember his past) please consider taking the following survey:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=n ... or8w_3d_3d"


The survey will remain open so long as I continue to get responses - I suspect about a month.

Thank you very much.

--Ellen

Dear Ellen,

Let your son do what he wants.

From a Cosmic point of view it really doesn't matter if he becomes a Justice of the Supreme Court or the guy who mows the grass in the park.

Interesting. I have that too, however I haven't come across another person on the spectrum that has. I have a couple of cognitive dysfunctions. One of them is this memory problem. Basically as sort of anterograde amnesia but not quite like those with head injuries. It is not easy to explain or understand. From tests, memory is in the extremely low/poor range. However it is pretty ambiguous, because when I actually do remember something people tell me I must have an amazing memory. I have poor recall, but remember some random things. There isn't actually a test for long term memory. I have a much clearer cut cognitive problem, which I've also been trying to investigate for years. I have basically given up on diagnosticians / clinicians, (and believe me I gave them the benefit of the doubt). They are mostly not inclined to use their brains, their have almost zero scientific inclination or curiosity outside of these pseudo-scientific and arbitrary diagnostic manuals. I plan to write to some researchers. As with anything it takes a lot longer that planned.

Tbh honest I can't promise a brilliant or certain future for you son, if he has had similar problems to me. I am still fighting though. The worst feeling is lack to security/self-sufficiency. You aren't really aware of that when you are a teen.


I don't have time to take the survey ATM, but will come to it.

Hmmm, I thought that perhaps many people on the spectrum had problems with long-term memory. It is interesting that you have not seen that to be the case.

One theory I heard about what Asperger's is might help to you to understand what is going on - or it might not.

Babies are born with "white" matter for their brain. As they learn "gray" matter starts to cover the brain. In "normal" adults, the brain is completely covered with gray matter. In those with Asperger's usually one side of the brain is unaffected - it is usually the left side that is unaffected. The left part of the brain holds all the academic learning and rational thinking. The theory explains why people who have Asperger's generally are very logical people with high intelligence. The theory continues that the right side of the brain for those with Asperger's has pockets of gray matter but is not completely developed. The right side of the brain is intuitive, social, irrational, creative, etc. The theory continues saying that is why it explain that each person with Asperger's has slightly different problems - they have different pockets that are functioning and accessible. Some pockets are supposedly not accessible which is why those with AS are often troubled greatly with frustration. The AS brain is trying to function, but the parts of the brain that should have had gray matter doesn't and that particular pocket of the brain then cannot deliver the information, even though the person with AS knows whatever they are thinking about.

Anyways, that is a good theory to me, or a good metaphor if it is not true. From the little that Joshua tells me, if seems true.

In any case, I hope that you get some answers.

--Ellen