The link between Asperger's/Autism in parents and children

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I have read that parents who are on the spectrum have a much greater risk of having children who are on the spectrum too. I was wondering what your opinions are on this. Do you think there is a genetic link or is it the WAY we parent our children (ie. what we teach them or fail to teach them about social situations). Also, has anyone tried to make an extra effort to act "normal" around their children in fear of teaching them the wrong things? I am very curious about the subject because I recently became a mom and I am afraid my daughter will end up like me. I just don't want her to go through that. Does anyone know of any research that has been done about this? Or personal opinions/experiences?

It's genetic. My parents didn't have Asperger's, but it appears that my paternal grandmother probably did, and there's a bit of ADHD on my mother's side of the family too.

Your child may or may not be autistic.

It's all good and fine to teach kids what behaviour is considered acceptable so that their social lives will go as smoothly as possible, but I'd be a bit worried about you trying to act "normal" if "normal" isn't natural for you. What specifically is it about yourself that you don't like, that you would want your daughter to not imitate?

I'm not a parent, but I was a child and can comment on my parents (mother in particular) and their efforts to get me to be "normal".

Simply put, all their efforts failed. Miserably for me. Even at my now 40+ years of age, I still lack some fairly basic social skills. I didn't speak until I was 4+, avoided elementary school by sleeping at my desk (was tested and retested for all sorts of problems, but it was the 70s, so no one found anything), was subjected to school therapists and psychologists to get me to become normal, etc., etc.

Also, I'm the only Aspie in my family. My father has traits, but not AS. A few other mental disorders are apparent in family members. So as I've said on a few other threads, I'm the black sheep in a family of cockatoos. And since my brother is NT and very successful socially and professionally, I doubt the child-rearing process alone can explain my AS.

There's debate on WP and in the research literature on how much a child on the spectrum can learn, and what the best approach is. I hope that information combined with your experience produces a positive result for your daughter.

only two children in our family, our son and my husband brother's son are both AS but they do not know each other, live on different continents and in completely different environments. boy's parents are both NT while we are both AS. None of us is DX but signs are obvious. Another thing is their son is more AS than ours.

another thing that I read is that engineer/science professionals have a greater risk t have a child with AS. thhis would also point to genetic factors.

I think it's genetic both grandfathers of my childern fall on the spectrum and all the men on my paternal grandmothers side are what old country folks called "odd". Also my maternal grandfathers brother had AS and spend years in and out of hospitals for the common traits that he had, that story saddly ended with my greatgrandparents being bullied in to a lobotomy for him that ofcouse did nothing but make things much worst for him. Had I known before I had childern what I know now I would have gone in to motherhood with my eyes open looking for autism and would have been more proactive with my autie son sooner. I still would have had my kids they are a blessing and are the biggest joy in my life and I belive they will both grow-up to do great things.

Yes, there is a genetic component that I did not know about. We thought our daughter's autism plus came out of the blue. Decades of learning while researchers are learning and society is learning and on and on. And so I learned 14 years ago that I had mild asperger's. My husband is unusual in some ways, though I don't think he has asperger's. Then we learned one of my uncles has asperger's (an engineer at boeing), a nephew has it, oh, and one of my sons has asperger's a little more strongly than I do, and then a pain-in-the-butt niece is suddenly recognized as a mini-me (my poor mother!) and then we realize why dad is a hermit and oddly seems to be happier after mother died than he was before.
We are recognizing and putting together things we never did before.
My mother was a perfect mother for a kid like me. She always explained things to me and gave me advice when we were away from situations about what I should have said. She did not tell me the school considered me ret*d the first few grades until I had graduated from college. She loved me. She gave me thousands of books to read.

My children grew up without being too distorted by me, I think. They seemed to accept that their mom was different. One daughter-in-law told me that her husband was socially ret*d because I homeschooled him. She was talking about the one NT kid I gave birth to. Sheesh. The AS boy definitely benefited from my understanding him. My autism plus daughter got no benefit from me at all other than I did what I knew to do and I tried my best. She is happy in her own home with less tired 24/7 care and life arranged the way she wants it instead of my trying to force her to becoming a useful person. The adopted NT boy is accomplished and thinks my handicaps are hilarious. The adopted FAE girl did not become pregnant until she was 23, which is a victory of sorts, and she works. All in all, I was a competent mother, not a great one. I think they probably became what they were going to become under any competent mother.

Kids who grow up with aspie parents do not start acting like them and not develope normal skills everyone develops such as social skills or emotions, or need for routines, etc.

I do believe it is genetic and there is a chance I might have a kid with AS and it's possible I might have a kid with autism than AS. I do think it's also possible for families to have traits of it but not enough to be on the spectrum and then one of them has a child and the kid has the condition. I think that is what happened with me because I am the only one diagnosed but others may be undiagnosed but no one in my immediate family has it.

It seems to have a genetic component, and much research seems to corroborate this.

The best thing any parent, autistic or NT, can do for any child, autistic or NT, is to love them dearly and accept them for who they are. Just be delighted with the unique little person in front of you, and they'll turn out as well as they possibly can. (Which is not to say they'll be perfectly well-adjusted and have a marvelous life, just that you will have given them an environment in which they can best blossom into themselves.)

Just my two cents, for what it's worth.

If parenting had anything to do with it, then I should be as successful socially and economically as my sibling, since we both grew up in the same household - but our circumstances throughout our lives have been night-and-day different. One a picture of stability and all-American social integration; the other a square peg in a round world, struggling to fit in and survive and always just shy of the mark (missed it by that much).

On the other hand, my 16yo daughter is as neurotypical as can be, an excellent student singled out for scholarship to a math & science prep school.

I'm pretty sure my Paternal Grandmother was an Aspie and I have one female cousin on that side recently diagnosed. Other than that, I don't see any signs of it anywhere around me. I take that to mean it's genetic in origin, but not common in any event. Just because a parent has AS doesn't mean their children, or even necessarily their grandchildren will. The larger the family you create, the greater the odds one will turn up, but it's a crap shoot. Have a dozen kids and maybe you'll get lucky and be blessed with one interesting oddball.

As for parenting, just do the best job you can do - don't over analyze how you do it - that kind of neurotic behavior won't make your kid an Aspie, but it will make them nuts. Kids need hugs, encouragement and approval. The rest you can improvise as you go.

I really don't think there is a "nuture" component in being on the spectrum or not. Perhaps the parents can affect the outcomes of living with it, and AS parents may fail to teach their NT children a few things other kids are learning from their parents, but none of that determines who is and who isn't AS. I have one of each, NT and AS, and I offer the same set of pro's and con's as a parent to each. The fact that we aren't a very social family isn't turning my NT daughter AS; she is naturally sensitive to and aware of, things that my son is not. We didn't teach her that; she was born with it. The two were night and day as infants; it was so clear to me that kids come out of the box exactly who they are and will be. We help them make the best of it, of course, and give them a sense of roots and a sense of self, but we can't change their natures.

I vote genetics. I'm an Aspie and I have two kids that I have parented the same. One is an aspie and one is NT. There you go.

Hi all
Newbie here
All research that I've done points to a genetic component. Myself & my son's dad(we're no longer together), don't have AS or any traits, but my readings point to a history of alcoholism, bipolar,,,(my son's father), & also anxiety/depression/panic attacks in a family,(myself anxiety/panic... ) ,could be a predisposing factor. My son is very high functioning with mostly the social/emotional piece of his personality affected.
Met all his milestones, normal intelligence,exaggerated emotions, & the typical Aspie no eye contact, & could not socialize with peers. He was alot better with kids a lot youger than him, or adults, not his peers.
When he entered middle school, I started seeing a change... for the better(hormones maybe? )
I read that puberty could cause a complete change either for the better or for worse. Luckily, my son it was for the better. I also was at a more stable point in my life. I was married & divorced 2x & raising my son pretty much on my own with no family living near untill my son hit Middle School, & that's when I remarried & my husband adopted my son, & he has a step brother & step sister now.
The social piece was improving, & emotionally he was getting better. His exaggerations were few & far between. High school... a big change, & has made friends.. even though they're only friends in school.. he still hasn't mastered initiating asking friends to come over to the house, or to go hang out, like at the mall, like kids his age do.He's a master of the online socializing, belongs to technical forums online plays & battles his classmates online in his video games chats & so on. Has a fear of growing up though, & of death & dying, & does not want to go work when he graduates high school. He wants to be near me & his dad because he's also afraid if we die, who's going to take care of him. (He's 17 now!)
He was diagnosed at 7 yrs old, & had social skills classes in elementary school, mainstreamed in resource classes with an Aide, & I joined the Aspergers Education network. He rode a 2 wheeled bike at 5yrs old, but could not hold a pencil correctly, tie his shoes or snap or buckle. Had OT & Speech for language pragmatics in elementary school, never any meds, & that was about it besides a very small loving supportive family. He is an only child, so I was wondering having no siblings to mimic or role play with, & living in an area growing up where there were no kids his age around could have played a role .
Anyways.... my story,and my two cents here
Nice to be aboard!
(anyone know how you can encourage an Aspie teen to flee the nest & spread their wings? Mine isn't the least bit interested

I did not leave home until I got married.

sister and me only ones in family. parents? maybe the "autism phenotype" or whatever.

It's totally genetic. I told my aunt that and she still believes that the root of my problems is that my mother was "the most selfish person she has ever known." True, she was. She had a plethora of problems that seem to me to be AS related, although it wasn't diagnosed. This caused trauma for me, but it's not the cause of my AS.