Getting AS (and other) Children to Eat

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We have five children, one of whom has Asperger's. A long time ago we instituted a "rule" in our home that has lead to a lot of success at the dinner table, including with our AS child.

We allow our children to make a list of three foods they do not have eat if it is served. They may put anything they like on the list or change the list with 24 hours notice. They may not change the list the day of a meal. Several of our children hate seafood and have it on their list. On those days they are responsible for getting their own protein on their plate, but we respect their "right" not to eat it. Our AS child has seafood, potatoes and lamb.

If a food is on the list, they politely go about dinner without talking about how awful the food must be. If it's not on the list they know they must eat it without complaint, and they actually do it. And our AS child is no exception because rules are so very important to him.

This is one of those cases of avoiding battles you don't have to face. It gives the child respect, teaches them about food groups and practically eliminates the fights over eating with a simple "You need to put it on your list before it turns to leftovers!"

I just feed my son whatever he currently choses to eat. He will go hungry rather than eat something he doesn't want, and he will gag on food he doesn't like or want.

I'm glad for you that you have found a system that works for your family. It must make mealtimes much more relaxing.

With the wide world of foods out there, I don't think my kids could limit their dislikes accurately to 3 foods. But, assuming that you aren't going to spring any surprises on them, it sounds like a reasonable system.

In our household, I make sure that there is at least one thing at each meal that each child will eat. Often, I ask for input on meals and that is the time to make any preferences known. We will not short order cook; ie, everyone gets the same meal. We do have one exception, however: anyone is welcome to ask to reheat a leftover in the frig in lieu of what has been served (given that both kids have an aversion to left overs, that rarely happens).

I think the key in any household is that rules be clear and consistently upheld. And simple to remember. Both our systems serve that, I think.