Dx help

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Here are some behaviors of my soon to be 4 yearold only child daughter.
*She doesn't transition well
*She sasses and backtalks
*She gets engrossed in what she is doing
*Hyper
*Will not use a public potty or the one at church
*Has meltdowns
*Is intelligent with no learning disabilities that I have noticed.
*Very Imaginative
*Pushes other children when agitated *aggresive sometimes*
*May be bossy to children or adults
*Will usually not come to the table without argument

I believe she is ADD/HD and may be mild aspergers. I am an aspie, my husband is ADD and family members also on the spectrum. What advice do you have for me as my husband IS finally coming around to understanding we have some issues to work with here. I know a therapist that works with autism and the spectrum should she be evaluated? My friend says her son had many of these behaviors and they wish'd they'd have had him evaluated and on the proper medicine and I understand that as it does seem to be a power struggle and most parents know how tiring that is.

Is she to the point at almost 4 she can be properly diagnosed as I realise many believe parents should wait in certain situations till school age....Oh help Please

With a child this age, a list of "issues" really doesn't say much - these could be typical, or they could be symptomatic, it depends on the nature and extent of the behaviors you're seeing. If you are having a tough time at home, by all means seek professional help. If your child has Asperger's, you can start getting some assistance in working with that. If not, you can get some parenting assistance. Either way, the important thing is that if you, as a family, are experiencing difficulty, you need to get some help. I would caution you, however, not to expect that medication would "solve" any of your problems. There is no pill that will get rid of bossiness or make a child follow instructions instantaneously.

Pook I always say go with your gut when it comes to your kids. Your the one that sees them everyday and knows them better then anyone. I wouldn't panic nothing on your list is something I haven't seen from kids that aren't on the autism spectrum. Kid that age are quirky and have odd behavoirs at times thats what makes them so much damn fun. As far as looking for the magic medicine I'd avoid that unless less she's hurting herself or there is some extrem need for it. Teaching her in a way she can better get whats expected of her because she wasn't born know how to do somethings and they might come harder to her like how to get along with the other kids or that a pubilic potty is ok and safe or even that we have to leav the park but we'll come back don't worry this isn't the last time we'll swing or what ever it is she's having trouble moving out of doing. We've all been there and if you ever have any questions or need help please ask us .

I think at the age of 4, your daughter is too young to think about using medicine. You could take her to a developmental pediatrician if you want her diagnosed to see if anything ia going on, but she is still very young and might be just be strong willed. Your school system also should have something in place that will give you guidance as to whether your child has a development delay. Is she already in a daycare or preschool? What do her teachers say? You may want to read up on positive behavioral supports and find ways of working with her to help her.

I am a stay at home so she hasn't entered into any schooling situations yet. I told my husband that I don't know how that would go as when she tantrums it can take a bit for her to calm down.

She has a great older peditrician, but he doesn't accept Aetna so we would have to pay out of pocket and goes toward the dedudtable. The closest woman we don't know nor have talked to anyone who does so we will have to make a decision there too.