full day vs half day

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ugh i'm struggling between making the right choices again. i thought i was on the right track with my son and now i feel like im not pushing him hard enough again. we went to his neuro appt today and the neuro was just shocked that i dont have him enrolled in a full day class when he starts kindergarten in the fall. he strongly recommends a full day class and whenever i bring it up in his iep, they tell me he's too "high functioning." i got the same crap when i asked for an extended school year, something the neuro also recommended.

now i feel as though he thinks of me as too much of a laid back parent who doesn't push their kid hard enough because of his dx. honestly, right now i dont think it's important to push the full day thing. i think it's good for him to have some downtime in the mornings and he also has st/ot twice a week and social skills group once a week. am i being too easy on him?

Sorry to hear that you had such a rough time with the Dr. My son is 15 now and if there is one thing that my wife and I have learned, its that you know your son better than anyone else. Your neurologist is no doubt well-meaning, but let's face it - he/she isn't going to be there at 7am trying to wake your son up for school and he/she isn't going to be there in the evening trying to do home-work with your son either. My personal experience is that doctors/therapists often forget that their role is to be a consultant to you and your son (providing their expertise and their advice) - WE are the parents who are guiding and raising our children! In my opinion, if you honestly feel that half days are right thing to do, then you should go that way.

Thank you papabear! I appreciate the advice very much so and I agree completely. They way the doc said it, it just makes me feel as if I'm being inadequate. Kinda like a doc that prescribes a med and I'm not giving my child enough of that med so I'm doing him an injustice. Everyone I talk to say the more intensive the better, as if drilling "normalness" in them will change them. I feel so differently, I'm all for giving them the tools to be happy and independent in their lives but why overwhelm them with unnecessary stress. He has plenty of time to go to a full day school in the future, I want to enjoy him and learn more about him as much as possible. I don't know, maybe I'll regret it in the future but I'm just going to go with my heart on this one. Thanks again!

I vote to stick to your approach. For all the reasons already noted in this thread. Young children NEED time at home, that is mostly down time. Don't let anyone pressure you to disregard your instincts. A happy AS child will be a thriving AS child.

We went from a 9 hour schoolday to a 5 hour and it was the best thing that we could have done. Jake so much happier and is learning more and no longer comes home in tears everyday. Do what you feel is best for your child you know him and care about him more then anyone else.

I couldn't agree more. Just a half day is a lot to handle for some kids.
From what Ive learned on this site (all forums), it seems most kids come to dread school as a living hell. That is how my 16 yr old feels.
I am so happy to see him have ANY time off school, ie. holiday, vacation, home for a darn fever!
The school pushed for full day when I had him in half day kindergarten, and I gave in part way through. But he was better off home with me.
If you can do it, there's no place like home!

I agree completely. Listen to your own instincts regarding your child.

My son did a lot of half days last year, which equated to about two-thirds of the school day, in which they covered 80% of academic work (the afternoons have more art, library and sport), so I figured he wasn't missing too much. Just taking him out of the whole social lunchtime thing, made for less pressure.

And anyway, if a child is high-functioning, they learn stuff (if taught appropriately) in far less time than other kids. I reckon my son could pack his day's worth of learning into an hour . . . but it's not always practical.

Your son will learn better if his environment is unstressed. No point being at school all day with high levels of stress - will learn zilch.

I agree. I just started taking my 13 year old to a therapist about a month ago for a couple of issues and I can already feel the second-guessing from him. And I agree that the school situation creates enormous stress. The bullying alone has been reason enough for me to give in when my son calls to come home early from school. In middle school, bullying seems to be relentless. Stay with your instincts because your child will be happier for it.