Monologuing

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Has anyone tried getting their Aspie to use a tape recorder for this? My son has to do this every morning, before I have had my tea, while I am trying to make breakfast. I love him. I know he cannot help but do it. However his timing is horrible and I simply cannot handle it first thing in the morning.

His therapist has recommended having him do his morning speeches on tape so that he is allowed to get it over with as it comes to him, and I can focus on the morning routine. Has anyone tried it? Does it work?

If he could just save it for the afternoon I would be fine. I am not a morning person though and it is like sensory overload for me when I am trying to wake up and get everyone fed/clean/dressed.

Also I find C uses it as an excuse to interrupt work and eating. We have nearly reached the point (and my husband has reached that point already) where we cannot allow him to even speak at all while we are eating. C will just stop eating all together in favor of talking. My husband has even suggested leaving him to eat on his own with no one else at the table, however I know for a fact that he just talks to himself instead if we do that. That is what C does when he is supposed to be doing chores. And he does not seem to be capable of talking and doing anything else at all. (Except, somewhat ironically, walking)

This is a big problem. People are supposed to be able to have conversations at the table. It leads to very awkward meals not to.

Is the idea that he would tape it so that you can listen to it later, once you've had your tea and are more relaxed? Does your son ask questions to check that you're listening to what he's saying?

I've never heard of anyone doing anything like this, tbh, and I'm not sure that it would work for my son as he does require some kind of response from his listener, i.e., me! I've got quite good at letting much of it wash over me, while picking up key phrases and some general gist of what he's talking about.

I completely understand the problem with mealtimes. Unfortunately, I have no answer to that one. I also think that it is good to have conversation at mealtimes, but my son doesn't eat either if he's talking and he eats very little anyway, so I prefer to have him focus on his food. And yes, he will also just talk to himself if there's no one else there.

Part of the problem is that he is more talking AT me than to me. He will ask questions, but he will sometimes not let me respond before asking another question. He isn't "conversing", it really is just a monologue. Most typically about things we have talked about a dozen times before right down to asking the same exact questions.

A lot of the time he seems to just be talking for the sake of talking ie I think it is most likely some form of stimming. However, some of the time he is doing it to get attention, mainly negative attention. He knows if he talks about the same thing asking the same questions over and over people will get frustrated and then focus solely on him. This is unfortunately something he picked up living with his biological father, who largely ignored him unless he was in trouble.

However when he does it in the morning, there does not seem to be any stopping him. Even if I ask him not to. Even if I tell him I just cannot focus right now. Even if I snap and get terse with him, he does it anyway (And then he complains that I've interrupted him!). So the therapist thought that if he had some way to get the talking done and over with (since my participation does not appear to be required other than being present so that he is technically not talking to himself) then he would possibly be more relaxed at breakfast and pay more attention to his food. Plus he likes gadgets a lot.

Chris doesn't necessarily monologue, but he'll go on for ages about his imaginary friends, or games hes creating in his mind. Things that I have no way to respond to since they don't actually exist!

What we do is set a timer. "You can talk for 3 more minutes about XYZ and then it will be Mom's turn to pick something to talk about." It works really well for us when he's driving us crazy, plus he learns a bit more about how other people feel about his topics, and helps him with his conversational skills.

When we first started this, he'd listen to MY topic for about 5 seconds, then go right back to his. He's really improved on this, and can actually create conversation for almost anything, at least for a little while.

I don't think I'd care for the tape record idea, for us, anyway. He needs to learn that other people have things to talk about too. And it sounds like it's never completely "out of his system" anyway. He just needs to learn when it isn't appropriate, and to be considerate of other people.

I know for you this is a very real issue, but do you know I cannot wait for the day when my son overloads me with language?! !

Our breakfast consists of us offering my son choices.......and waiting for a response. We have to constantly talk to him, to help his language along. This can be very draining when we get so little back, it breaks our hearts.

Maybe could you get up a little earlier in the morning, take a deep breath, and let him just get it all out, and then go about your day?

Try not to get too wound up over it, you are so lucky that he wants to / is able to talk xx

I was excited for him to start talking, when he was a year old. This is actually somewhat sarcastic, I don't mind a lot of the time that he talks, I just can't deal with the spiel in the morning anymore. I am tired and cranky and it is far too repetitive.

I really cannot get up earlier. We already get up at six when school is going on so that the entire family can have breakfast together every morning. He doesn't have to be at school until almost eight, it just takes him that long to get ready in the morning. Even if I have him pick out his clothes and make his lunch the night before. He will still find a way to waste time by staring into space or talking about the same thing we have been talking about for the last two weeks and asking the same questions he has asked every morning.

I have ADHD and two other children, plus an injured husband to look after. Our mornings are hectic affairs filled with dirty diapers, pain complaints and sometimes falls, random questions that I've heard already, random questions that I cannot possibly answer without getting a PHD in Astro Physics, telling my AS son to finish getting ready about five hundred times...

I understand that you are upset that your child is non verbal, but this isn't a "better" problem just a different one. Basically this would be like my telling you to "Be glad at least he isnt' smarting off."

It sounds like the morning rush is more the issue than the constant talking. The talking becomes an issue because it interferes with getting through the morning routine in a timely manner, correct?

I would try discussing this with him the night before. Every night. Do you have a visual schedule of what needs to be done by when? That might help. Let him know that you understand he has a need to talk in the morning, but that there are things that must be done, and that completing some of those things will mean he cannot talk. Go through the list with him, and ask him, "can you eat while talking?" and so on. Ask him for input so that he feels he is control of the decisions. Write what you've agreed to down.

The next thing I would try is a hand signal. We've actually used one with my son for years; the school actually started it. When he sees the hand signal, he knows that he has talked too long and must wrap it up quickly. It leaves him in control of that wrap up, which is important to him, because the signal itself doesn't interrupt him. He knows the reasons he could be asked to wrap it up vary; time being up, that he's repeating, that the listener has something to say, and so on; the reason isn't important. The message he has is that he is expected to finish his conversation as quickly as possible. We don't use this very often at all; otherwise he would have gotten very frustrated. As adults, we reserve it for situations where there just isn't time. His friends ... well, they get to use it just to tell him they aren't interested. Either way, it works. In your situation, it could be used to remind him that he can't talk and eat on schedule, for example.

Overall, though, I like my son's constant chatter. I don't actually listen to it in the way of registering what he is saying. I'm hearing impaired so I have to listen very attentively to understand conversation no matter who is speaking. And my son knows this. For him, it's more about talking than being heard. If he really wants me to listen, he'll ask me to pay attention. Then, of course, I will

Getting him a digital recorder would probably be a good idea. You could make it a fun project for him to make you guys a personal podcast of all his ideas or something. You could maybe even record a feedback one for him. If you make it like you want the recording to be a surprise he can do it in his room, giving you the time you need to get ready without disrupting his routine.

He saw a digital one at the store and got very excited about it because it seems he could record non-stop for several days! I could see him trying to do that exactly. I have considered getting him a digital camera... he really liked using mine when I first got it. He called it making "News Reports".