Hello - I'm new to this forum & have a child with Asperg

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My name is Laura. I have a little boy named Jamie who just started kindergarten. For the past several years Jamie has been exhibiting some "autistic tendencies". Finding answers has been difficult. I started him in preschool in January to try to get him help. What I got was "Jamie has some autistic traits and some ADHD traits. He's bright but has difficulty with impulse control. Hopefully he'll grow out of a lot of these behaviors over the summer. He's socially immature and has difficulty with his body in space. He does not qualify for any therapies or assistance because he is not behind academically and does not have any physical impairments." His teacher did send recommendations along with him to the elementary school. She recommended a very structured classroom, a personal schedule, and weighted vest if needed.

Jamie is doing poorly in school. He's getting in trouble every day and I feel powerless to help him. He wants very badly to please, but he just can't seem to control his impulses. I've volunteered to help in the classroom so I can see what is going on, but the teacher isn't allowing parents in the class yet. She is still trying to get the children acclimated to her room, the schedule, and the rules. She doesn't want parents involved until they have adjusted. I can understand that, but I need more information now. I need to see what is happening. I'm very concerned about his self-esteem.

Last week I took Jamie to his pediatrician for another evaluation. Based on the information gathered over the last few years, what the pediatrician saw for himself, and the letters I had from his teachers, his pediatrician said that he was sure that Jamie has Asperger's. This is not the first time Asperger's has come up. When I told the preschool therapist that there was mention that Jamie might have Asperger's she told me that it was not possible because Asperger's never presents with speech problems or speech delays. Jamie's pediatrician said this is not true and that Jamie clearly has Asperger's. Jamie no longer has any speech problems. Actually, it was kind of like one week he barely talked intelligibly and the next he spoke clearly and had a large vocabulary.

Jamie is such a wonderful child. He is the light of my life and I hate that everyone in the world can't see him through my eyes. So many people see a spoiled child or a child with behavior issues. That's far from what Jamie is. Jamie is a perfectionist and it's difficult to get him to show you what he knows until he gets it just right. He loves letters and numbers. He loves shapes and colors. He sees the world in shapes, colors, numbers and letters. Most kids stretch their arms out and say "I love you this much!" Jamie never understood that. He says, "Mommy, I love you one hundred." Jamie can spend hours painting. He's curious and wants to understand everything. He's lovable, but you can't bribe him or force him to show affection. He has to come to you. It's worth the wait, though. There are so many delightful things about him that I wish everyone could open their eyes and see. You don't have to look that hard.

I should have mentioned that I'm waiting on a referral to a therapist for Jamie.

Hello LaurAnnHere!
Welcome to WrongPlanet! I moved your thread to the Parent's Discussion as a lot of our members have children on the spectrum. You might like to read through the different threads in this section, there is a lot of information here for you and your boy!

Merle

Welcome to WP!

Thank you. Right now I'm trying to read through everything so I don't ask the same questions that have been posted a million times. I'm finding a lot of interesting information.

Hi LaurAnnHere!

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting! Your pediatrician and the pre-school therapist are playing out for you a disagreement that is swirling around the autism community at large. The DSM says that a speech delay rules out Asperger's as a diagnosis, but in practice, many diagnosticians ignore that once speech develops. It depends largely on where you are and who is making the diagnosis. Also, the delay, under the terms of the DSM, may not conform to a delay in the mind of the pre-school therapist.

Your school sounds like it is not used to dealing with children on the autism spectrum, who often exhibit needs that are real and require interventions, but who are not behind academically. His OT needs (where his body is in space) will interfere with his ability to access his educational curriculum - think here of physical education, recess, manipulatives used in math, science, any projects that are expected ... Your son may also have some executive function issues that would be revealed only upon testing, and will impact his ability to process things in the classroom. His impulse control issues will certainly affect not only him, but his peers if he is not taught how to handle them. This, in turn, will impact him socially, which is part of the "educational experience."

If you are in the US, you will need to educate yourself about your son's rights and about the laws. The schools will count on your ignorance, and will tell you as little as possible, so that you will demand as little as possible. Your son sounds like a great kid, and you don't want the school to destroy him. Try to find out if there is a local parents group for kids with special needs - some districts have a special needs PTA or a committee for special needs or something of that sort. If they do, you can find a wealth of information about the schools and people with whom you will be dealing. For legal information, check out Wrightslaw. They have tons of information about the laws under IDEA and strategies for dealing with schools.

Good luck. Staying in touch with other parents will be really important in keeping your sanity and staying informed!

Welcome to the Wrong Planet neighborhood, Laura.

To WrongPlanet!! !