I'm sorry it's been so long since I've posted, but there has been so much going on here.
Doing the single parent thing, along with my boyfriend, so not quite "single" parenting. He helps out so much.
I'm doing college courses for an associates in Business with a concentration in medical coding and billing. This should allow me to be employable before my paltry alimony ends. Maintaining a 4.0 so far. I have a week between classes right now, I've just finished Algebra and believe I am keeping my 4.0; I've done the math, but it's not posted yet, so that is generating a little anxiety. After next week I start Biology and Business Management.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays my oldest 2 have Tae Kwon Do. My next to oldest is loving it, and my oldest (AS) loves it every other time or so. One lesson he says he wants to quit and the next he loves it, I think it has to do with how loud it is that class. I keep telling him that he likes it, but sometimes it's just a little too loud so we keep trying again. Both boys have their orange belts and are going to test again this coming Thursday.
I made an appointment with the MRDD by suggestion from my oldest's behavior therepist (working on anxiety issues), and have been through the gambit with them and have been certified as eligible until he is 16 years old! My next step is to recontact the SSI people and make a new appointment with my letter from the MRDD saying that he qualifies there. We have been found eligible to apply to a bunch of lists and one of my favorite is that a lady that sounds very nice on the phone is going to observe my sons class room to come up with ideas for his next IEP and is going to work with me to get everything that we can get for him that he needs or that would help him.
He was "placed" in the 4th grade this year. Upon the recommendation of 3 medical professionals, even though he did not "pass" and was not "promoted" he was moved on with his peers. He has two teachers this year in his main class, (I would like to keep him mainstreamed as much as possible), and they are very helpful. They have decided on their own to reduce his work load and are helping him greatly with prompts when he wanders (he also has some pretty bad ADHD), as well as allowing him to get what he knows on paper anyway he can. Which, right now, includes me writing half his homework for him that is not graded handwriting. They set up a reward system for him as well where after he gets so many stars then he gets a prize, even to the extent that when he said he wanted Yugioh cards as prizes they obliged.
His new thing is Yugioh cards, he has to have them in his hand 90 percent of the time and his teacher at school are allowing him to keep one at school to help him through the day. I think the cards probably classify as an obsession; unfortunately, he wants to play with them so bad with other people that he has started bribing people to play with him with his best cards as ante'.
We are dealing with massive separation anxiety. He cries sometimes at school because he misses me so much, and at night he always wants to sleep with me. We have a rule that you need to sleep in your own bed (unless it is our camp-out night once every other weekend where we watch movies and sleep in the living room if we want.) The separation anxiety is weird considering that last year I could have almost sworn that if I left and didn't come back for a week he might not notice and the best I would get was a "oh, hi." It seems to have started about the time that his father moved about an hour away (out of county and against court orders, I might add... I digress.)
It seems that the older he gets the more glaring his differences. He has been diagnosed: Aspergers, ADHD, severe anxiety, with OCD tendencies, and a feeding disorder. The neurologist is considering Torretts (sp?) as well, but wants to keep track of the tics for a while longer yet before diagnosing that.
We have had to put him on anti-anxiety medication (it's an anti-depressant but works for anxiety as well.) We started at a quarter of a dose and have very slowly been working up, a couple days ago we started the average dose for his weight and height or whatever they measure for. He could not be in a different room from me without almost vomiting from the stress, would not ride in a wagon being pulled at a slow walk on level ground for fear that I would let go, the wagon would capsize and he would be thrown into the ditch and die. He would not let his little brother use his Xbox because it might blow up and go into sharp pieces and kill him. We are only on this one medication right now.
We are almost touching the height/weight charts for him. It is taking 2 boost drinks a day on top of meals to keep his weight maintained.
We are on nothing for the ADHD and I am torn as to whether to medicate for it, I am leaning towards no right now. With the stress of getting ready for school I've been having to dress him, but once he is going he seems to get better. I think the term "executive dysfunction" I've seen may apply to him as well. He is becoming more defiant on the tooth brushing thing! aaaaarrrrghhhh.
He's a very wiggly, walking on the back of the couch, hopping jumping, forgets he's eating diner and gets up and wanders mess at the moment, but a few gentle reminders seems to go a long way and he's such a great guy. He also has a very acute sense of smell and touch. I've been letting him wear sweats all year round and, I believe, choosing my battles better. I put him in his favorite great sweats and grey matching underwear and grey matching turtleneck with the lucky charms socks for church; I figure if it helps him and it's such a simple thing, go for it. It kind of spares me glares and bad looks because he acts out of the norm for children his age. He is 9 and just the other day we were at the dentist (his brother got into a wrestling match with a door knob and the door knob won, breaking one of his few permanent teeth down about a 1/4.) We were in the waiting room and I got some bad looks at first when he decided to jump over some lady's legs to get to the toy box, but they went away when he picked a baby book and one of those baby tower things that you put the circle donuts on and just stacked them and stacked them and stacked them. So that is getting easier for me that way at least. People have quit telling me that "oh, all children do that." His happiness with little things is so contagious though!
Still having problems with the ex though, he's always said there was nothing "wrong" with him and now that it is so glaring he's determined to ignore it for the most part, and focuses his attention on his favorite child. He and his .. I don't know what she is... his description was "just friend" a while ago, I'm assuming they are more now since she had his baby.... anyway, they have devised a reward system and I found out that "daddy" said that "if we do something against the rules we lose a star, and if we don't have any stars we start losing Yugioh cards." I have a feeling that I will be talking my oldest into leaving his favorite cards at home when he goes over there... I'm sure one of the rules with be if you don't eat what we cook (something out of a deep fryer because, I'm pretty sure that is all the "just friend" knows how to cook.) He also has a feeding disorder. The ex gets them for 2 hours on Wednesday and alternates weekends with me. On the weekends he doesn't get them, I'm letting him visit Friday for 2 hours as well.
I guess that is about all. Thanks for reading my rundown/rant/encouragement post. Good news mixed in with bad, but overall things are looking good.
29 Sep 2009, 10:33 am
