I'm new here, any advice

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Here's my story.
My elder daughter was ahead of all milestones until about 2.5. She was, however, an increadibly poor sleeper (never napped even as a new born). At about 2.5 she began to have tantrums, also she slowed down in her development, but this was easily explained by the brith of her baby sister and that she was levelling having been so so advanced. At 3 years old she taught herself to read and her tantrums became cyclic and constant she also began regressing in her development. I called around to make apointments and all neurologist had watiing lists several months long. The first I got to see was a holistic neurologist who diagnosed her as having "Leaky Gut" and PDD-NOS and put us on a gluten free casein free soy free corn free yeast free egg free peanut free sugar free low salycilate diet with a bunch of pre and pro biotics and supplements. We did see improvement. She began sleeping better, stopped banging her head, the tantrums eased up, and she stopped complaining inanimate things were screaming at her. The neurologist then wanted us to do a "biofilm" protocol. This freaked me out. At this point (thankfully) we got an apointment with a mainstream neurologist who diagnosed my daughter as having aspergers and told us the diet was a load of bunk. We continued with the diet, discontinued most of the stranger, more expensive, possibly harmful sided effect stuff and took her to a gastroenterologist who agreed the diet was a load of voodoo but that my daugher was allergic to something, did a bunch of tests and eventually diagnosed her as non-celiac gluten intolerant. We also took her to a psychologist who had experiance with celiac, he explianed a lot of her strange behaviors head banging, inability to sleep, hearing strange sounds) as being related to gluten-migraines (which made a lot of sense). At this point we would like to reintroduce some of the restricted foods (obviously not the gluten). My daughter has a history of being a picky eater. She never ate fruit (even the babyfood), but for a while would drink tobasco straight from the bottle. She can read, is teaching herself addition and subtraction, would very much like to make friends but is exceedingly socially awkward. What can I do to help her?
Thanks for reading my story. Any advice would be appreciated. I've never used a chat room or internet social site before and am very sorry if I don't follow appropriate protocol in any way.

I am somewhat new here too. I am not new to aspergers, however. My first child began issues in toddlerhood back in the late 90's then our third born began symptoms in her toddlerhood just a handfull of years ago. They both underwent speech therapy for spepch delay. Both are gifted, though my oldest is likely profoundly gifted. We too, went to the gf/cf diet. I have also taken out soy, artificial sweetners, food dyes, bad preservitives and am doing whole foods the best I can. We see tons of improvement. I don't know much about how to wean off the diet b/c we are still in our first year of it. We committed to do a whole year without messing with reintroductions. So, I don't have any true advice, but wanted to say welcome, you aren't alone, and that even as a Mom who is also asperger myself I need the support and help of others on this board. Any parent does. The parenting advice we find and we read doesn't apply to our children, usually. What you have been through with your child sounds stressful, but enlightening. I know I had gluten issues bigtime and if I hadn't also gone on this diet this year I'd be sick right now like I have been most of my life, but especially the changing of seasons. I wish you success in your endevors and hope you get some good advice here. I am, so far. This seems like a really great place for support. I hope it suits you and that you utilize it to it's fullest.

I've started to think of the special diet as voodoo that stumbled on something real: many AS kids have food sensitivities that inhibit their abilities to be their best selves. Gluten seems to be the most common. With our son, by almost accident, we discovered soy to be an issue. We have not tried to eliminate gluten but have discussed it. It is sooooo much easier when you realize that you don't have to eliminate everything, just find the one or two (or however many) actual food issues that do exist, if any.

Am I correct that she is still preschool age? You give history but I'm backing into what might be the age she is now. I do think you can slowly reintroduce foods, but I don't think you need to force it. If she is healthy and eating fairly balanced then I would let her lead, ie prepare foods that she is allowed to sample, but allow the choice to actually do so to be hers. Its pretty normal, AS or not, for kids to narrow their eating choices around this age before beginning to broaden them again towards the end of elementary school. Personally, I don't like to fight over anything I don't have to, and narrow choices now don't translate to a lifetime of limited eating, in my experience.

Otherwise, the most important thing you can do for her is understand her. Let her be herself. Make sure home is the safe place she can be wierd and quirky and not have to put on an act as far as "normal" appearing behavior goes. Let her stim. Let her swing for hours. Let her talk nonsense to herself.

As for friendships ... I discovered quite by accident that a carpool can be an amazing thing there. Not always, but often enough. As you plan things over the next few years, keep your eyes open for opportunities to put her in a space on a regular basis with a child who might not be at all like her, but can learn to accept and support her. She may never have a long list of friends, but she doesn't need that. She just needs to know there is someone to sit with at lunch, or run with at recess.

Hope to talk with you more. Sorry for not replying sooner.

Hi DW and NowIgetIt
Don't be sorry about not replying sooner, it's great that you did take the time to reply.
Yes she is still preschool age, we have only been doing the diet about 8 months now. We are starting to "challenge" eggs this week to see if she reacts to them. She is a picky eater with strange tastes. I am not sure what is due to food "sensitivities" and what is due to sensory issues related to food. She eats mostly meats, poultry, salmon, boiled squid, calves' liver (only from Whole Foods), Quinoa, apple sauce, fruit rolls, and frozen peas (not defrosted). She will also eat some scones that my husband makes using gluten free flours with salba as the egg replacer. She has never liked to eat fruit. Previously she would eat sauce on her pasta, but now she refuses that so I'm worried about getting enough vegetables into her.
Thanks to both of you for the support

You're welcome.

A note on veggies ... our magic trick is putting things like carrots in front of the kids about an hour or two before dinner. They are starting to get hungry but haven't really noticed it yet, so they haven't associated a food with the desire, yet. As long as its a veggie they tolerate, they end up absent mindedly gobbling it up. Its so cute the times they do acknowledge it, with a "yum, carrots!" We don't make a big deal of it, I just prepare and deliver. If they don't eat it right off, I may ask if they were aware I had put a plate out there, but that is as far as I go on pushing. It's really rare it doesn't simply disappear. Magic