Although this is about me, a 31 year old, I figured I should post this over here because it is concerning me as I grew up. I was typically labeled as a loaner because I didn't like "organized fun" What I mean by this is things like sports, or board games, or other activities that were arranged, and followed a specific order. As a child, I visited many places for kids, from church sunday school, camps, etc. One of the big things I remember about these places is that they had precise, structured, organized activities. These places followed strict schedules as to when a particular activity would occur, and the worst part, you were required to participate many times!
In bible school, we were to do arts an crafts things with specific religious themes. It wasn't that I didn't like the religious things, but didn't like my creativity being hemmed in by rules over what I could use, and what I could create. I chose not to participate. I was happier as a kid playing with "building" toys, such as tinkertoys, legos, blocks, etc, and sometimes found ways to integrate the incompatible materials. Another example of this would be at Boy Scout camp, I was happier taking a canoe and exploring the inlets and creeks around the lake for wildlife and other interesting things. The other boys were interested in racing each other through a series of bouys set up in the middle of the lake. I never really liked following the schedules at camps and classes, but perferred to just simply go and do an activity as I felt in the mood for it.
When it comes to sports, I found them very hard and challenging. Sports games have a considerable amount of rules and guidelines of how to play. To an A.S. person, many seem illogical. For instance, why can't I carry the basketball? I can when I play football? Much of my distain for sports has to do with being hemmed in by these rules. My mind is an engineering mind, and I enjoy thinking of new ways to do things, which can frequently, step outside the boundaries of the established way of doing things (this is in fact a reason why I'm succesful at my job) The rules of a sports game, or any game for that matter, limite my thinking way too much. To my fellow teammates, I was not any good at the game, because I wouldn't work within the boundaries of the game.
I imagine, this factor plays an important issue in an AS child these days, as you may find it troublesome as to why a child who has expressed interest in a particular activity, now doesn't want to do it, or is giving you a hard time. It may also give a bit of insight into why your child may not participate with others. I have never been a competitive person, and games and other activities that pits person to person, or team to team always aggrivated me. My choice when it came up to play sports games was to sit them out, and not participate because of this. The "competitive" channels of my brain are more developed not to fight and compete against other humans, but actually to work together to fight what I call the elements, or "nature' per se. For instance, I found it more enjoyable at scout camp to work with my fellow scouts to engineer a rope bridge, versus engaging in a game of capture the flag or something.
I hope this info gives you a little insight into why your aspie kid may seem anti-social and may not want to participate in activities, from my own memories of what I enjoyed and didn't as a child.
28 Mar 2006, 2:54 pm
