Question for parents

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So, I know I'm a kid and not a parent, but I have a question for parents. I'm 13, and think I have AS. I got around 170 on the quiz, I fit all the symptoms. Thing is, I'm way, way, way too shy to tell my parents. I'm going to e-mail them instead. But before that, I just wanted to ask parents in general what they think of my situation? Any suggestions, comments, etc? I'm bad at seeing things like this from my parent's point of view (they're both NT), so I wanted to know what people had to say about me mailing them? (well, it's more like a 600-800 word essay, but whatever). How would you feel if your child told you this? How would you feel if you got an email saying this? Is it too abrupt, should I talk to them?

Oh, and I'm sorry if I've been posting too much recently. I'm going to a difficult time in life, what with moving and switching schools and starting to suspect I have AS and everything. I guess I just need a friend, but I don't know who to turn to.

I'd especially love input from NT parents, how would you feel? (because I doubt my parents have any idea what AS is even)

As a NT parent, I tried to think how I would feel to get this email from my daughter, these are the feelings that spring to mind:

1. I would be thrilled that you were able to share your feelings with me

2. I would feel a little sad that you didnt feel able to have a conversation with me about it, but I know the email opens the door for that

3. I would feel guilty, and like a bit of a failure, for not noticing that you were having difficulties.

4. If I didnt know about AS, I might feel a little scared about it all

5. I would feel an immense need to protect you, and help you through whatever might be going on at this time for you

6. I would throw my arms around you, and love you more than I have ever loved you before

I think it is a great idea, you are so good at expressing your thoughts, your parents might be shocked / upset, for the reasons above, but Im sure they will love and support you, on your journey to find yourself.

Wishing you the best of luck xx

Hi Eaglesaymeow,

Similar to FD, I would feel a range of emotions because I tend to be complex. However, overwhelmingly I would feel proud that my child had the courage to take initiative, ask for help in a forum like this, and communicate with me about an intensely personal issue regardless of whether it was email, letter, voice mail, or in person. Don't be afraid. Communicating with your parents is the right thing to do.

Best of luck!

I agree with the other replies. The only thing I would add is that since you aren't certain if your parents know anything about AS, perhaps you could include a link in your e-mail to a site that has an explanation of AS.
My son just came out of his bedroom one day and shouted down the hallway to me, "Hey Mom, I think I know what's wrong with me. I'm pretty sure I have Aspergers." I asked him why he thought this and he explained a bit and then I went on some sites and it wasn't long before I was in total agreement with him. It was a huge relief for both of us. He has since been diagnosed.
Don't forget, like me, your parents may have already been worrying about you and may also find this to be a relief.
Please come back and let us know how it all turns out for you with your parents.

Best of luck xx

Agreed with all of the above.

I think it is really insightful for you to find this at your age. I am sorry that you've had to figure it out for yourself and, if AS turns out to really fit you, I hope you'll be comfortable with the label.

Parents hope their kids will feel they can bring everything to them, but we also know that there is lots to complicate that, and it doesn't always happen in the way we would wish it to.

Agreed with all of the above.

I think it is really insightful for you to find this at your age. I am sorry that you've had to figure it out for yourself and, if AS turns out to really fit you, I hope you'll be comfortable with the label.

Parents hope their kids will feel they can bring everything to them, but we also know that there is lots to complicate that, and it doesn't always happen in the way we would wish it to.

Thanks for the replies. I'm going to send her the mail, then go on a field trip, so she can think it over, too.

Edit: Oops! I have to send it later. Apparently word lost the document.

I´d be glad.Any kind of communication with my children is great. And I think you don´t have to worry would your parents understand or what would they think.You are a part of them.
Best of luck. mamamoo

did you ever talk to them? what happened?

Well, I talked to my mom. She listened, so that's good. But I don't think she took the part where I told her that I think I have AS seriously enough. I plan on asking about that later

WOW - I was floored reading your post! At 13 you have such great insight and maturity...

If you suspect that you have higher-functioning autism the school will test you for free, they just need your parents on board. I agree with all the other posters and as a parent, if my kid talked to me about anything personal would be awesome.

I'm just not bothering to deal with that this year, to be honest. I'm at a different school, but I'm going back to my old one for HS, so I plan on just dealing through these next few months and then talking to somebody at my old school. I'm sure nobody there would be surprised, they've known me long enough that I can't hide that I'm different. Plus, is that info the same worldwide? ATM, I'm in Hong Kong...

When you say you need a friend and don't know where to turn, be careful!! Some people are predators and may trick you because you are vulnerable now. As far as written advice goes, take what you need from it and leave the rest. Tell your parents in your own unique way. Be prepared if they say, "No, you're not." and they just walk off. Read about AS as much as possible. We're all not copies of each other but it feels good to relate to those who are similar.
There is a LOT of info out there.