AS and Behavior in an almost 4 year old.

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My son was diagnosed as having borderline Asperger’s at a little under 3 and a half. His diagnosis was made based primarily on hand flapping, depressed reciprocal play, less than stellar eye contact, and lack of conversational dialogue. He has moments where he spaces out. He was talking OK, but mostly about what he wanted to do (getting needs met).

He is going to be four in January. He is still behind on his conversational skills, but his language has gotten much better. His flapping is mostly gone and his eye contact has improved. He is engaging with kids in preschool play-wise. He likes to tell stories and has become much more expressive. I know AS is a spectrum, but he has some qualities that seem inconsistent with his diagnosis.

He is not a kid that needs routines of any sort, he rolls with it each day. He has no fixations to speak of. He has favorite things --- animals, pink panther, playing computer games, Thomas --- but nothing he talks about exclusively. He is very affectionate and able to read facial/body language. If I am sad, even if I am trying to hide it, he can tell. He will ask how to make 'sad mommy' happy mommy. He's great about sharing and conventions such as please, thank you, etc.

A few nights ago as I was getting my things ready -- he randomly said that I looked pretty and necklaces and proceeded to go to my jewelry box and pick one out ... because "mommy loves necklaces." Well I do like them, but this is not something we ever discussed and frankly I had no idea he even noticed where they were.

He seems to be good at taking things apart and putting them back together, but he has no real affinity for numbers. He is a pain in the butt when it comes to eating new things -- but he has no texture/taste exclusions. He does seem to be bothered by sound or clothing -- he will wear anything. He is a PAIN about haircut (but fine with the dentist). He's great with potty time and washing up.

Right now my biggest concerns are getting him to continue talking more, getting him to dress fully on his own (he has zero interest in it), working on reading, and getting him more interested in drawing.

I know I just need to wait until my next developmental pediatrican meeting. Lately I have been wondering if there is something else we might be dealing with. A learning disability of some sort -- maybe related to his being an intermediate “grey zone” fragile X carrier (50). They say numbers that low don't have clinical impacts -- but it's such a new thing, research wise.

Sorry this was so long....

So you are saying he is a carrier. If he has the syndrome you would expect elongated scull, mental retardation, concave abdomen, large gonads, etc. The extent of the mental retardation and the physical feature may vary.

However his observations are very good, and deductive. He is not really showing sign of mental retardation. As for learning disability he may have executive dysfunction. I have it clinically. It can be frustrating having good verbal skills with it, because that is what people use on the whole to judge ability. However it could be worse. I think there isn't much from what you describe to indicate major, major problem. There is one developmental disorder with a sharp decline in mid-childhood, however that chances of you son having that and being a fragile x carrier are so unlikely.

Hi Simone

My son has ASD and a few other things that more learning related. We didn't put together that there was something there until he was about 7 years old. At your son's age he was just what we thought of as "quirky". He hated drawing, he didn't like to pretend play, he wouldn't eat sugar covered donuts because he hated the sugar on his hands and he was really fussy with food. He would also say really outrageous things.

As he got older his "quirkiness" became more pronounced and his teachers also mentioned that he was having problems at school. At the moment, at 9 years old he has good days and bad days. Some days a stranger would not be able to tell there is anything different about him at all. And sometimes, his symptoms are so pronounced that my heart breaks for him because I wonder what his future will be like.

Just monitor your soon and see how he goes. School will be a big help in telling whether there is anything there or not. At the moment just embrace all that he is and don't worry about labels, you will have to worry enough about that later to get the support you need. Best of Luck

I don't think anyone would have suggested my son could be on the spectrum when he was 3 or 4. He was always quirky and unique, always a handful, but also very loving and interested in being social ... not a shy bone in his body ... just never really connecting with kids his own age. We didn't think much of it.

When they are young, unless there is something clearly in need of work, it seems to me that they should just get to be themselves without any diagnosis.

Its when they hit school that you start to really see things. At least for high end spectrum kids.

Wow.......my son sounds very like your son.

My son is now 4.5yrs and was diagnosed with AS at 3.5yrs. We found it VERY hard to get a diagnosis.

My son has:
No repetitive behaviours
No fixations
No obsessive interests
Is very flexible
Hates the same old routine, loves a change!!
No sensory issues
Very chilled out, no anxiety issues

You would wonder where the AS is at all?! !! ! BUT.....he is just not the same as his peers socially. He does not have chit chat with his friends, in fact I dont think he speaks to them at all. He loves to run about and play spiderman / power rangers with them, but would never start a conversation. He is very comfortable in his own company, and likes to take time out every now and again.

We have suspected something was different for a long time, he has been in early intervention since he was 2yrs. (paid privately, as could not get a diagnosis at that time). His life is so lovely for him at home, he really enjoys his ASD pre school, sure he has no reason in the world to have any of the above 'symptoms'.

But...from reading here I guess that it all may change......... when he starts school (as dw a mom, just said)! !! ! He is starting Sep 2010.

I'm armed with all the knowledge from previous posts here...........I'm ready for it!! !

Hope things work out well for you and your little boy xx

Thanks so much for the replies!

FD -- our son's do sound alike.

There are days that I wonder how he would be with a different home life. He is our first and our life is pretty much structured around him. He is watched by his doting grandparents when I go to work. We do have him in an integrated Pre-K --- he's the only AS kid there --- but he's been out more than in. We've had a head cold, chest infection, etc. Gotta love the way the kiddos share germs

He does like school a lot and wants very much to go. He wants to "see his kids" - lol.

I just find myself wondering how related (if at all) his diagnosis is with the weak X (50). Our son's developmental pedi gave him his diagnosis 1-2-3 ... and felt very sure of it. But he did admit to the X stuff being very new and still unfolding.

The several people I know in my life with AS children had AS in thier immediate families (husband, grandpa, self, etc.). We have nothing like that to point to -- after spending WAY too much time dissecting the family tree. I do know I was a foot thumper as a baby/todder and speech delayed as a toddler/preschooler (I carry a weak X).

I know I just need to get into see a geneticist (I keep cancelling our appointments ... due to being sick).

Sounds like you already know what a geneticist can currently explain. I am very analytical and I can tell you it is not always a good thing. There are differences between ASD kids, the spectrum is multidimensional. Fragile X screening is much more accurate than psychiatric requirements, which are largely arbitrary.

I was seen by a paediatrician at age 2, told my parents too early to tell anything wasn't diagnosed till mid 20s. Nowadays they have slightly more of a clue.

0_equals_true, you are likely right. His developmental pedi wrote his X (50) off as nothing to be concerned about. It's at a level that is considered nearly symptom free ... just something to watch if it expands in future generation (Fragile X is typically at 200+, sometimes in the thousands). He has none of the physical features.

I am just the type of person that NEEDS to understand things. I find myself so frustrated at how ... stretchy ... his diagnosis is. I wish I could rip out my genome and throw it againts the wall and illuminate the bits and pieces that caused his unique little mind to develop.

He can name literally hundreds of animals (bugs, fish, mammals, etc), he knows how to use the PC, he can do basic counting/adding, he can take apart things and assemble them, but he messes up Blue and Green all the time. It's like if he learns something once, his mind locks it in, And god forbid he learns it wrong, his brain can't go backwards and delete/replace easily.

And he does things -- when he is ready. I can push until my eyes pop out. Like potty training. I tried at 2.5 and it was a losing battle. At 3, he trained within a week. Because he wanted to.

(LizzyLoo my boy would LIVE on donuts if I let him. It's a problem. I passed on a wicked sweet tooth. But he likes his frosted with sprinkles.)