Anxiety following surgery...

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My 9 year old son had to have an emergency appendectomy last week. He was very sick prior to the surgery, and had to undergo IV's, blood being drawn and a CT scan; followed by emergency surgery. Everything turned out fine and he was released from the hospital after 36 hours. He is recovering well, with just some pain when he tries to do too much or move around more quickly than he is able to.

My question is this: Since he came home from the hospital he is afraid to be on his own. He won't go and lay in his own bed, trying to make him do so tonight led to a complete meltdown. He also won't stay in a room by himself. He has always been quite clingy, but this is much worse than usual. I know that obviously the surgery and hospital stay has had an affect on him. Any insight as to how I can help him to feel better or what I can do to help him through this anxiety?

Thanks in advance - Laura

I've never been faced with this situation. But if I were, I would rely on patience, compassion, and conversation. I have always found that explaining things in factual terms helps my son deal with his anxiety. For example, I would give him all the company he needs, and I would talk to him matter-of-factly about everything he has just been through and why he may be feeling the way he is. I'd explain what an appendix is, why they get infected, and why they have to be removed. I'd talk with him about anxiety and what it is, and why your body feels anxiety, and how your body processes it. I'd stay with him at night if I had to, let him sleep with a nightlight for a few days or weeks if need be, sing him to sleep. Let him know he's ok and everything will be ok. Eventually, with your patience and coaching he can get over it.

I think DenvrDave hit it on the head. Talk, and be patient. Give him what he needs to feel secure again, and he'll move on when he is ready. Kids are driven towards independence, so as long as he has a chance to heal in his mind as well as in his body, he'll defeat his fears in his own time.