now he's possessed?!

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I'm sure as parents of children with AS or ASD you guys have heard a lot of things about why your kids are the way they are. I have had to develop a thick skin, because people want to blame me for my son't AS. My mother-in-law finally stopped accusing me of using drugs and/or drinking while I was pregnant (I just want to say, i have never used drugs, and I don't drink) She does, however, tell me that it was the vaccines that caused him to have AS, and/or if I just put him through a colon cleanse and give him special vitamins he'll be cured.

Other people in my family think I'm just a lazy parent who got my child diagnosed because I didnt want to take responsibility for him being a brat.

My mom, on the other hand, has had the hardest time adjusting and accepting this diagnoses. My son is her favorite of her 8 grandchildren (with my other 2 sons tied for second) and she has said many times "I refuse to accept that my grandson is disabled. How can you think he's autistic, he's brilliant!" Which kind of shows her lack of understanding of Aspergers, yes he is brilliant, and yes he does have AS, those things are not mutually exclusive, in fact, a lot if not most people with Aspergers are brilliant.

Anyway, she called me today and told me that she has been talking to my uncle (he's a pastor with a lot of ideas that I don't neccesarily agree with, even though I am a Christian) about my son. In his defense, my mom doesn't understand it, so what she told him about my son's diagnosis and behavior I'm sure is somewhat innaccurate. Anyway, he told her that it sounds like some kind of spiritual thing passed onto my son because he was "born out of wedlock", and that he will be "healed" if we "lay hands on him and pray"

I don't even know what to do with this. Like I said, I am a Christian, and I don't want to discount anyones beliefs, but really?

Why is it so hard to get support from the people who are supposed to be supportive? I am so confused, I'm a little sad, and a little angry, I don't even know what to feel about this...

Well to state the obvious, your mother-in-law is a b***h, and your mother is in denial. I don't have any advice regarding your mother-in-law, but you could certainly educate your mother, showing her that autism is NOT a negative thing! Education is key for those interacting with him on a regular basis. I'm not sure what to tell you as far as the religious beliefs go.

Ah the old "he's possessed" card. People I think are just stuck in a world of 'normal' and never think that such things are in their own family. So when it happens they go in denial as Gil said and just try and brush it off as the kid is just a brat.

you know, I have been searching Google with the key words 'laying on of hands + autism' and "casting out demons + autism" and I got so much bad news I kept looking to find something that didn't seem biased or slanted but just a neutral commentary on the practice or effectiveness of the practice. Unfortunately, I only saw ghastly stories about autopsy results and court cases and murder convictions.

I was trying to give you hope that it would soothe the soul and comfort at least your mother. Your boy might not like being touched, being an Aspie and might resist. If they think it is 'spirits' doing the resisting it might get desparate if your mother's heart realizes you have to get your son out of there but you are conflicted about embarassing your mother in front of her pastor. I would ask for the ground rules first, and have a safe way out if you or sonny get uncomfortable or if it goes further than you all agreed on.

Safety first, after all YOU are the one responsible for him, not them. Good luck

Merle

well, you can try and explain that many children here with the same diagnosis are born in the wedlock so your uncle's story doesn't hold water.

Thank you guys for your posts. This is a very confusing situation

I'm a Christian, and I've also been told that it's to do with my son being born out of wedlock, or the fact that I was into alternative spirituality before I was a Christian, etc etc. I can tell you with absolute certainty that your son is not possessed. Sounds like some charismatic BS to me. I'm trying to educate my own family that my son's difference is actually a blessing. At least they don't think it's because he's possessed... though I do get the bad, or inadequate mom thing a lot. I'm constantly told that I should have made more of an effort to socialise him as a child. He joined a playgroup at eleven months... he's always been socialised. He just always wanted to play seperately to other children, or read books, or tell himself stories. Other kids games seemed boring and dull to him... what can you do when a kid is developing their own skill set in parallel to other kids? I think a good mother appreciates the blessings she has, and encourages her kids to develop their own uniqueness and specialness.

God made your boy the way he is, and there is nothing to say that there isn't a great purpose to it. Your Mum knows that your lad is special, darling, and she loves him. Does she not realise that his asperger's qualities are part of what makes him so beautiful?

Don't let it put you off Jesus though, just because some religious types are nutters. Your boy is fine. Autistic, yes... but what's wrong with that?

Perhaps it is easier for her to accept that there is something wrong with him taht can be fixed by something as easy and fast as "laying on hands" than to accept that he is just different and no less for it?

I am sorry to hear you are surrounded by so much ignorance. Where I live there is an AS cluster so understanding is pretty good. I can't imagine facing what you are facing.

To use the language of Christianity, I would suggest that your son is not possessed, he has been gifted by God. As I was reading your post I remembered one of the first articles I read on AS, where they talked about how in days past someone with AS might have easily slipped into a remote religious order and made a relatively solitary and regimented life inventing things behind closed doors. Think about some of the works religious orders have the past have done, how they did most of the printing, or copying out of books, and so on ... often they were cloistered centers of unique thinking. Can you image your child living that sort of life? I can.

So under that theory, God has been creating AS individuals for centuries, its just that in our crazy busy overwhelming world we notice it more, as the world has become more unsuited to AS needs than ever. But none of that means we don't still need the unique perspective; we do.

^ Well, technically, any wrong or imperfections in the world are the result of sin. Meaning, people have autism because there is sin in the world.

Well I'm going to be blunt here, for the good of your son.

Religious people used to burn people alive because they didn't fit into their worldview. Think about that. Deeply. "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live remember?

This is a human thing and it never really goes away. Dislike of the unlike is deeply ingrained in human beings. Just think rationally about this. Do you really believe your child is the way he is because of demons? Really? Why should he be gifted and sweet and honest in many ways if that's true?

Now people are perfectly entitled to believe what they want to believe AS LONG AS IT ISN'T HURTING ANYONE ELSE. Then it's crossing a line, in my view. I'm not seeking to demonize religious people. But I was born in wedlock, christened in church blah blah and I'm still autistic. What does that tell you?

Some people are gonna look at your little boy and say "he's touched by Satan" and others are gonna say "he's touched by God". It can't be a both the work of evil needing to be cast out AND the work of God can it? Can it?

In the gospels there were religious people who thought Christ had a demon. Were they right?

Never forget we know alot more about how people tick than they did in the Middle Ages. Think those people burning people alive were any different to people walking around today? I don't. I think people are people.

Good luck.

I've often felt that if our kids had been born in a less sensory overloaded world, with different expectations, they never would have stuck out as potentially having something "wrong" or "imperfect." Not to say they wouldn't have struggled in some areas, but some of the things that appear the most obviously are reactionary to the environment, it seems to me, so with a different environment would there even BE sensory meltdowns or a need for excessive stims? I wonder if autistics used to simply melt into the fabric of a community easier. In most ways people used to be much, much harsher, but in other ways some things were simply accepted. When my parents were young it was tradition for one child in every family to enter a religious order. Often the quieter, less social, more thoughtful one. I've wondered how that played out with AS in those days. Its hard to know, we can't go back, but its something to think about.

Yes indeed. And also the pace of life was so much less frantic. If you're working in the fields or whatever, you're not being a social butterfly.

Your mother is 1. in denial, and 2. needs to get away from religious loonies.

I was also accused of being possessed and it's a disgusting thing to say about a child as well as being ridiculous and totally nuts in this day and age. We are living in the 21st Century FFS! Religion has a lot to answer for the persecution it has caused our community over the years. It has to stop.

I was interested to read lately that Martin Luthor (not King, the one who laid the groundwork for Protestantism) felt a child displaying autistic symptoms was an empty husk animated by Satan and recommended strangulation.

Peace and love, guys lol