Math

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My SS has been going to a new school this year. It is more challenging than his old school. He has had to attend after-school tutoring every Monday and Wednesday but he seems to be catching up. It was for Language Arts and I was happy to hear he is doing better. However, now the school says he needs a math tutor. Now this is a SMALL private school. There are only 14 kids in the entire 7th grade and plus the tuition is 20k! So now he will be up to private tutoring after school 3 afternoons a week. I wasn't worried before but now I'm getting worried.

Ok, so he was working on math with his dad today and the conversation went like this:
Dad: half of 2,000 is what?
SS: umm I dunno
Dad: Think
SS: 50?
Dad: No
SS: 500? I don't know, it's too hard
Dad: what is half of 2?
SS: 1
Dad: Think!
SS: 1,000? oh ok

He is 13 yrs old and has a Dx of NVLD and 'Math Disabled'. The school actually doesn't know about either Dx, both parents don't want to tell them.

Well, the Language Arts I felt happy about when I heard he was improving, but just hearing the conversation about the math this morning has me worried because math just gets harder. Algebra, geometry, etc. It doesn't get easier.

I mean his dad thinks he will catch up so I guess we will try that for the rest of the year but he just seems really far behind and it's taking so much extra time outside of school. His mother always blames the teachers, always. She says the math teacher, for example, doesn't know how to teach math.

He has been in private schooling all his life but his parents want to send him to the public high school in 9th grade. My mind jumps ahead and I just think, I think the minimum math a 9th grader can take at the HS is algebra.

He did shadow at this school for 2 days in January but I think because of the NVLD he can present himself very well. He can speak well and it masks things, plus both parents decided not to give the school the report that said he had NVLD and is 'math disabled'. I am wondering now if he could have had accommodation with the math? I mean when his dad helps him with math, I have to leave the room, it gets bad because his dad gets so frustrated with him because he just doesn't get it. And my husband will be raising his voice and telling him to write neater! the teacher can't read that! because he is very messy with his work.

His dad thinks he will turn around and catch up and maybe he will but I think the whole experience is making him feel bad about himself. I know kids with AS tend to be very good at math so maybe this just sounds odd but if anyone has any advice?

I mean will a regular math tutor work? because I have tried to help him with math and logic, logical sequences, all those sorts of things, he really doesn't get it so tutoring him is very difficult.

I have an 8th grader who is good at math, but not great. He doesn't fall into the category of an aspie who is GREAT at math -- it's kind of a struggle. We made the huge mistake of putting him into a higher math level at the beginning of the year -- and we have learned our lesson. You just can't push things too fast and furious with some kids.

I don't have any experience with tutors. My husband, for the most part, works on math with my son. This often doesn't work too well, because my husband is extremely skilled at math, and my son is not. There is lots of yelling and antagonism. I often leave the room as well -- it bothers me a lot. But I have to admit, when I work with my son, some days he totally gets it, and on other days, he gets NOTHING. It's very frustrating.

Is your son on any meds? I ask because my son was doing quite well last year and the year before -- but this year, it's totally different. The entire beginning of this year has been awful. We don't know if it's because he has grown so much, or if the level of demands at school is so much higher, and we definitely know that his meds aren't working.

I do relate to what you're going through. I hope that it gets better. A tutor MIGHT be an improvement over having your husband work with your SS -- there won't be the antagonism there.

I can't imagine not giving teachers every possible bit of information that might help them teach a child. Sigh. The path the parents have taken continues to surprise me, but ...

As for the issues with math, while most AS seem to be very good with it, as with all things AS, nothing is across the board, and those who struggle tend to really struggle. I've caught a few threads over time on the general discussion board about discalclia (sp?) and there are numerous AS that seem to have it. It might be worth looking into the condition to see if it might apply and if there is a special process for teaching a child with it that might help your step son.

I wish you the best of luck. You care, and that helps, I'm sure.

Last edited by DW_a_mom on 15 Nov 2009, 1:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have both NVLD and AS, so I can feel your son's pain. I never used an outside tutor for math. My mom tutored me up until seventh grade, and after that, I stayed after school to get help from my math teachers. (This continued in college.) I think it all depends on the teaching style of the tutor if your stepson will benefit. I know that, with me, if somebody doesn't understand that I simply cannot grasp things one way, the tutoring won't work. I need patience, understanding, and somebody who is willing to teach the same material different ways. Also, I need every step of math shown. Most people can skip steps and not need them explicitly demonstrated, but if one small step is disgarded, I can go from complete understanding to complete confusion.

And yes, he should have accommodations for math. I didn't get this until college (because I wasn't diagnosed with AS or NVLD until then), but it helps immensely. With me, it's not even so much that I'm not able to grasp concepts in math- it's a time issue. I take at least twice as long to understand something or figure something out than everybody else. When rushed, I miss easy problems or make simple mistakes that aren't made when an appropriate amount of time is given to me. An example of this is that I was given time-and-a-half on exams when I took statistics in college, and I aced the class and ended up becoming a stats tutor.
-OddDuckNash99-

I related to this SO much because truth be told, it always gets heated when my husband has to tutor his son in math. My husband went to MIT and has a BS in computer science and electrical engineering, my point is that his math skills are very good. So I can't imagine the frustration he feels although he loves his son so much and I really want the math to sink in and for him to 'get it' but when I hear them studying, it makes me nervous.

I feel so many things will be cut off if he can't get the hang of math. I mean he says he wants to be a doctor or a nurse and those two things will be impossible unless, not only does does he really gets the hang of math, but that he is good at it as GPAs are very important as there aren't enough slots (I am worrying way ahead I know!).

He isn't on any meds, his parents really don't deal with the ASD at all. They only had the evaluation because they had to.

I just found out that he'll need algebra 1/2, geometry 1/2, and algebra 3/4 to graduate from high school. I see those classes, especially the geometry, as being very problematic.

With an IEP can a student be excused from the math requirement? They are getting him one for high school.

Yes, I said to my husband again, maybe they should know he was Dx as 'math disabled' maybe he could have accommodations but he didn't say anything. I just worry this will hurt his self-esteem as maybe he is the only kid who needs to extra tutoring, I mean I really don't know but I do know he is part of a carpool with 3 other students and he was the only one who has the stay back of the 4 of them, for private tutoring. My worry is that maybe he can't get it, maybe it is too hard but I can see my husband's thinking too, he wants to try to push him as much as possible - and yes, we will never know what he is capable of unless he is pushed a little.

Funny you mention this dyscalcu - ? something - because I just saw it yesterday. He fits parts and some he doesn't, but that's just like the NVLD, he fits parts so maybe he could have that too. He has had some evaluations for his IEP and we don't know the results but maybe they will catch something like that.

Thank you OddDuckNash99,

I am going to show your message to my husband. It gives me hope.

I don't mean to ask a silly question but accommodation usually means extra time, or note takers right? A person still has to fulfill the requirements of the college? I also took statistics in college and loved it but it does send terror down many people's spines.