My 17 year old son does not always go to the bathroom

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when he has to have a bowel movement. Sometimes he is sitting down and we have to tell him to go the bathroom. He doesn't completely have an accident, but he soils a lot of his boxers. When he cleans up in the bathroom he also leaves a mess. We have tried to get him to clean up after himself but he argues that we are on his case. He says he can't feel it when he starts to go. He usually doesn't have these problems outside our house. He use to hold it for days and then he would undergo the same scenerio, but we have started giving him Myralax so he is not constipated and now it is a daily ritual. My husband is really having difficulty with this issue and it is turning into a source of constant friction. Any suggestions will be appreciated. Sorry if this topic is not very pleasant.
Thanks,
Pam

Last edited by thepam on 21 Jul 2009, 7:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

Since he doesn't have it outside your house, it looks like he is just lazy to get up to go to the bathroom so he holds it and then he makes up an excuse about he doesn't feel it when it comes out. I know how that is. I also used to hold my pees as a teen because I didn't want to stop what I was doing to use the bathroom so I would hold it. Luckily I never had any accidents.

if it happens he loses whatever he may be doing at the time (computer, game, music, t.v.)? How long would you recommend we take things away?

Wow. I feel like somewhat of an expert on this subject, but I wish I weren't. We have a 13-year old aspie son who has had a whole bunch of bowel-related issues. For most of his school year, he was bullied. The stress was pretty bad. Some days I just had to come to school and bring him home. The pooping problems seemed to stem from the stress.

For the past 2 months he has gone into the bathroom 3 and 4 times a day to poop. Except that many of these trips are false alarms. He then sits in there and refuses to leave until we start to press him and he gets angry. Sometimes he was late for school because of it. I thought it was like an OCD thing so we went to the Kaiser psychiatrist, who yelled at us because we didn't want meds. She also thought he maybe had an empacted colon. So friday I had an abdominal x-ray, and guess what? He was not impacted. But last friday his pediatrician sent us home with a 9-day clean-out regimen, and the first thing I was supposed to do is give him an enema!! Needless to say, he didn't want to do it. Now he has stopped the frequent trips to the bathroom and is down to one trip. And he says he hates that psychiatrist.

I also have personal experience with this, over last Christmas vacation, where I just basically forgot about my own bowel movements for what seemed like weeks. By the time I realized that I was severely constipated (because there were no sensations or bowel sounds) I needed a couple of trips to the doctor. Very weird. I am an aspie too. This was during a very stressful period in my life and I think I basically shut down. So what I'm saying is that your son could be reacting to anxiety or stress.

want to come down too hard on him. After thinking last night I had to change some wording of my original post. Usually this doesn't happen outside our home, but it has happened on occasion. I would probably say that once or twice a year it has happened. This is not something new either. It has always been like this. When he was younger (4,5,or 6) it happened with urine as well, but he grew out of it. I am really concern as to how this will effect his life in a few years.

I take it that your son has already had a thorough medical examination, and that there's no sign of anything like Hirschprung's Syndrome or any other actual physical problem with his intestinal system and the nerves related to it?

should do it again. Thanks for the suggestion.

I have no personal experience with this one, but being the pragmatic I am, I usually start with mitigating the damage. Have you tried having him use panty liners?

In that case, I take back the lazy part then since it does sound like it's a real accident than an accident from holdinng it too long. Did you take him to a doctor for it or ever considered having him wear protection? Have you tried giving him a potty schedule by having him go to the bathroom certain times a day and have him push and see if any BM comes out.

Many incontinent adults live independantly and take care of their own products when it needs to be changed. They find ways of hiding it and people don't ask what do you have in your bag or even look to see what's in it. So if your son does indeed have toileting issues, he might have to wear protection so he wouldn't have to deal with soiled linen and he would have to deal with changes at home but since it doesn't happen in public often, he might not need to wear them outside his home. But why is it that he has them at home and rarely put in public?

We left to go camping today and we wont be back home until Sunday. I am replying using my Ipod in a nature center so please excuse any typos as I am not a very good texter. I want to find some private time with my son to go over the suggestions. We may not be able to implement them until we get back. I will check out any replies every evening so if you think of anything else, please let me know. I really am glad I found this forum and I think I will find it very valuable. I also would like my son to sign up to partcipate. Thanks again. Kindest regards
Pam

I don't know if it's relevant but I did know a guy who pooped his pants in public and he said that a fart and a poop has swapped places in the queue and he thought he was farting but eh no! Apparently guys do have problems in this area.

It's relevant.

My son had the same problem when he was about 11. He also said he couldn't feel it coming until it was too late. It turned out he had Encopresis. You may want to have your son's dr. evaluate him for it. I found a good website describing Encopresis but I got an error message saying I couldn't include it in my post since I hadn't posted enough messages but look up Adult Encopresis and you should find some helpful info.

Also, my son had most of his accidents at home, too. He tends to be a "home body" so I think the odds were just greater that he would have more accidents here than anywhere else.

paste it in my search browser. It is always good to get more info. I appreciate it. He has a an accident since we have been camping so I think it might be medical.

Maybe I can help. When I was a kid I used to "hold it" for as long as humanly possible. I didn't like the feel of it when it came out. I would have rather had a stomach ache and hold it then feel it come out. My parents took me to all kinds of doctors who diagnosed me with medical problems and gave me medicine, but all along it was just that I didn't want to. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents what the real problem was, so I let them think it was a medical problem. After a couple of years I got over it, but I still remember how I felt. Maybe this is the problem with your son, and he says he can't feel it because he, too is embarrassed about it.

we are trying to set up a plan to work on retraining his body. I think partly he needs to decide if he wants to take care of it but as his mom, I am going to persist on helping him. I am hoping for the best.