Organizational skills help?
I got my AS son an electronic organizer PDA thingy for Christmas. One of his obcessive interests is computers - so I'm hoping he'll use it. We have just had fits trying to get him to use his paper agenda/organizer at school. I've given up even writing anything in the IEP relating to this issue if it involves him using the paper agenda. He just WILL NOT use it, does not care what the consequences are. The teachers are on board with wanting to help us teach him a system to keep him self organized. So I'm hoping this will help since its a computer gadget. BUT I was wondering if anyone else had had success with a system for their child or if an aspie has a system they like. My poor 14yo just really has difficulty knowing what day it is, time it is, month it is, when paper is due, etc. And to be honest he has a hard time understanding why he needs to care about this information. We've hit a milestone in getting him to attempt to use an alarm clock - which he does not use very well, but at least he's attempting.
TIA, Jenn
From an aspie point of view - or mine at least -
Talk to your son about what organization means in concrete terms (not concepts).
For example - to my mind Organization means behaving in a way that NTs can predict my participation in important events (in their eyes at least). If I say I will be there or do something by X - I am expected to do it or inform the other person of the change. NTs are impaired in their ability to detect that something else has come up that is more urgent, interesting, or that circumstances have changed. If I don't tell them they have no idea. Think of it as a kind of blindness. They will not know things have changed unless I tell them
Ask your son for creative ways to do this using specific examples. If Y tells you to do X for Friday what would he do?
1) I used to keep book piles on a shelf. Thge left spot was Monday, then Tuesday, etc. If math homework was due on Tuesday, I put the math book in the tuesday spot.
2) Today I just trust my memory which has gotten really good over the years.
3) I have a back up plan of people to ask if I forget to remember something. In your son's case it could be a list of class mate phone numbers.
Learning plans that try to make me organized in an NT way are obnoxious, going to be ignored (and they should be) and quite frankly are insulting - sort of like setting a goal for a quadraplegic to run a marathon. Not going to work.
When I was in fifth grade my teacher made it a point of writing down each assingment on the board. I had the presence of mind during the last third of the year to take a little notepad and tape down on the corner of my desk.
I would write down the assingment as they were written on the board. With that notepad taped on the corner of my desk, it served as a convient reminder for me to write things down.
I think in your case the problem might be a lack of motivation to pull out the organizer and write things down as it spoils the flow of things.
_________________
I live my life to prove wrong those who said I couldn't make it in life...
I think a step by step guide on how to do it EXACTLY would help. If I'm told to "do this", chances are I won't do it. But if I'm told how exactly, I'm much better at doing it. I asked my mother to make me a timetable for keeping the house clean and eating healthy. She gave me this basic timetable that basically said: Vacuum house twice a week etc. I couldn't do it. I needed her to tell me what day, what time, which parts of the house, what to cook, what to eat, when to cook it, when to wash up. It also helps to have someone else in the house follow the timetable, and basically turn me on to do it at that time. It's like if I don't have my pattern matching routines turned on 24/7, I can't turn them on unless I'm told what I'm supposed to be seeing. So everything gets left undone because I don't see that it needs doing. *Sigh*. Life just isn't designed to be lived by robots.
Something we found to be successful was to make lists for our daughter. If there's something important that needs to be done, then put it on a list. We put lists on the fridge, lists in her room, and eventually -- she started making her own lists! She now keeps a small blackboard in her room that she writes important things down on. Little notes to herself like "clean room" or "organize bookbag".
I think part of the success we had with lists is they are always right out there in front of you to see, constantly reminding you.
I got a trapper keeper for my older son and put a pocket folder and spiral notebook for each class in it. One side of the folder was for work to be turned in and the other for work that was returned. That worked for him. Unfortunately it did not work for my younger son. The child needs to be motivated to use it. Pink
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