Tricky situation; where do my son's rights fit in?

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My son is 7, with Aspergers/ADHD, and is in the first grade.


Last year, there were behavioral issues, but they did not give him an aid as I requested.

This year, he touched another child between the legs (tapping once outside the clothing), after witnessing another child do it to the kid. He was reprimanded, and was punished by eating his lunch in the Principal's office.

I talked about the issue with the school, and they were going to keep the two boys apart, and supervise. They approached it with my son as they would a NT child.

Last week, it happened again. My son was at his desk, this child talked to him, and he hit him in that area again. It wasn't hard, but it was inappropriate touching yet again.

The school gave him an in school suspension, two out of school suspensions, AND changed his class. I understand the parents of the other child are upset, but these things do not teach my son a thing. All they do is overwhelm him and confuse him.

They talked to him, but my son does not process auditory instructions well. I am the only one who tried social stories with him, and the only one who approached this as if he had special needs.

The school is FINALLY getting an aid in place, but all of these other things being done because of policy seem to be very detrimental to my child.

I'm having trouble talking to the school about this. They don't know I have Aspergers as well, but I'm wondering if they can tell, and are just taking advantage of the situation.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Does the teacher, principal, and special service dept. (if they have one) know about his diagnosis? That would be the first step, which you may have done already, so I apologize if I missed that in your post. Usually schools are more willing to cooperate when they know for sure what the child has.

Yes, they know what he has. They have the full diagnostic report from the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. They know he had a full evaluation, by more than one professional.

You are right that this is very tricky, because your son's issues are affecting another child. I suggest that you contact the Disability Rights Network of Pennsylvania. They took over the helpline from the Education Law Center a while back, and should be able to help you. Their toll free intake number is 1-800-692-7443. You can also email them at [email protected]. You may also want to check out their web site: DRNP.

The Education Law Center may also have information that you would find helpful - among other things, they have a manual for parents, on their publication page, that is available for free download.

Children are not supposed to be disciplined for behavior that is a manifestation of their disability. There should be something in his IEP about how to deal with undesired behaviors. Does the district have an autism specialist? If not, they may need to hire one, at least part time, to work with your son and with staff, to help get some things in place. If so, the specialist needs to start working with your son and his teachers. It sounds like you need to call an emergency IEP meeting. Among other things, you should request an FBA (functional behavioral assessment) to figure out why your son is engaging in this behavior - and any other "problem" behaviors. After they figure out why he's engaging in the behavior, a BIP (behavioral intervention plan) should be developed to deal with the identified behavior, in a POSITIVE way. Merely throwing an aide at the situation is not going to solve anything, except in all likelihood, to isolate your son further.

You said your son's evaluation was done at CHOP - do you live in the Philadelphia area? You might want to join a local listserv, where local parents would be able to give you some information about your particular school and school district. Good luck.

Does your child have an IEP? That is probably the most important tool you can use to ensure your child's rights are not being violated, that he is treated appropriately in school, and that he will be successful in school. The IEP can include a "Behavior Plan" that addresses inappropriate behavior, and lays out exactly what will happen in certain situations. For example, you could implement a Behavior Plan under your child's IEP that specifically addresses the touching issue and states specifically what actions the school will take if the behavior continues...you can you use this to protect your child so long as you participate in writing/revising the Behavior Plan. Also, the IEP could have an objective written into it that the teacher, aid, and other school staff (social worker?) will work with your child specifically to address the inappropriate behavior. Until or unless your child has an IEP, the school has no obligation to treat him any differently than other children. I don't know if the school is taking advantage of you specifically, but in my experience schools don't have to and won't go out of their way to treat students with extra sympathy or caring unless they are required to do so (exception: there are some very caring teachers that will go out their way to help, but there is no guarantee your child will have these teachers). The IEP can be a flexible, living document that you can adjust in time to deal with specific issues.

One other possible suggestion if you are having trouble talking to the school, there are children's advocates that you can hire to meet with you, get to know you and your child, and attend IEP meetings with you and help you interact with school personnel. It will cost money, but a good advocate may be able to help you greatly. There are several in my area that advertise on the internet. Perhaps you could find an advocate in your area with some internet searching?

Best of luck, -DD

Based on your description, their reaction sounds like a severe over-reaction to a relatively innocent situation. I've seen far worse from perfectly normal 7 year olds who simply were completely and utterly clueless. The other parents and I have always handled these things from the understanding the kids were clueless (sternly, with a lot of explanation, some immediate consequence, but no further disruption). It seems like that understanding was lacking at the school and, given that, I have no idea what to suggest. People who react to fear of lawsuits instead of common sense are really difficult to reason with.