Disciplining for school behavior

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Our 7 yr old dd has been having a heck of a time at school. She is tiny, but she is hitting very often. She goes in waves where she does really well for awhile, and then we have a month or two that are terrible. There is a trigger. We haven't found out what it is yet. Here is an example of an instance at school:

The other day, she kicked a student during PE. When she was addressed about this, she got "silly." She starts laughing uncontrollably and basically goes crazy. She ran down the wall and knocked all the gym mats down. When the PE teacher approached her again, she hit him. They brought her to the office and it took a little while to "bring her down." Afterwards, I do believe she feels remorse, but during the event, it's nothing but impulsive, uncontrolled behavior. She does some things like this at home, but never this serious. She doesn't hit us. She does yell sometimes and when she gets like that, she goes to her room to cool off.

The Vice Principal called and told us we needed to come pick her up and she would be suspended for the next day as well. So...what should I be doing about this? I have no idea how to discipline for this. It's obviously wrong, but at the same time it's uncontrolled. She is extremely impulsive and when she gets in that phase, it's like she can't stop herself. She doesn't have an area at school that she can go and be by herself. If she is with someone, she's still stimulated and overwhelmed. I hate coming down really hard on her, but at the same time, this is totally unacceptable behavior. I don't want her doing this as she gets older. Our current discipline for this is spending the rest of the day in her room and part of the following day. I'm afraid this is hurting her more than helping her. She doesn't seem to be coming out of this rut as quickly this time.

Is she being bullied?

It would probably be a good idea to request an emergency meeting with the school. A plan that effectively rewards your daughter, by having her stay home after such an incident, (most Aspies would rather be at home than at school!) is a very poor plan. Also, it is doing nothing to ascertain or address the triggering event(s), so there is no way to avoid the problem in the future. A functional behavioral assessment (FBA) needs to be done immediately, and a positive behavior intervention plan (BIP) developed. Make sure the FBA is done by a qualified individual, and that the BIP is a positive plan, not a punitive one.

No idea....she did say at the beginning of the year that everyone was mean to her. She hasn't said much about that lately. She isn't real great about telling us what is going on.

jat,
How do I make sure it's done by a qualified individual? We've done an FBA before, but they didn't stick with it. The psychologist told me they didn't do a good job at it....they are supposed to continue to take data and analyze it. The initial assessment couldn't pinpoint any triggers. Again, he said "then someone isn't doing their job...there is something there that they are missing." But how can I get the school district to use a qualified person?

I don't have any answers, just a few thoughts/questions (I apologise if I am assuming too much)...

What does her IEP say about behavior? Are there any modifications/adaptations in place?

When was her last FBA? They should be done every year, more if necessary IMHO. And should be done for each behavior concern, although not all at the same time.

Have you tried social stories with her? They may help her learn some coping strategies.

Does she see the school psychologist or social worker? If so, on a regular basis (more than once a month)?

I also think an emergency meeting is in order, but I strongly suggest you put together your thoughts and suggestions on paper before you go in. If this was my child, these are some of the things I would likely include:
A request for a new FBA to address some specific behaviors (list them - the hitting would be #1 on the list, but I suspect there are others).
A request for a calm down space. Doesn't have to be a whole room; just somewhere where she can go to regroup and not distract others (and not have an audience!). Hopefully it has a place to store a few calming items or activities.
If she isn't already involved in a social group, she should be included in one.
She should have someone to talk to BEFORE these situations come up (possibly related to the previous request).
Social stories should possibly be included in her modifications.

HTH!
Alli

Alli,
Thanks. Your comments have brought some clarity. Her last FBA was last fall (not 09, but 08). I think what happened was that she started this year really well and they kind of let it drop. Clearly, she's not doing well anymore, though. I haven't been on top of things either...I have 3 younger children as well, so it's really hard for me to stay on top of everything for her....we're just in survival mode lately. I have already verbally requested a new FBA, to which I was met with "We are working on getting those things tightened up." so not a real clear "yes, we will." I will be bringing a written letter by on Monday to formally request this(tomorrow is a snow day). I don't believe her IEP has any behavioral goals or objectives. They have done some of this stuff before, but only because she had a spot on teacher for pre-k and kindergarten (who she only saw for 1 hr a day in K).

How do we get social stories or start with those? I know they have done some in school, but all I've found is the expensive book. Are there any other places we can find out how to work with them? I believe they bring her to the counselor when she does this, but I'm not sure that's the time to be doing it. Could I request that she see the counselor more often, before these things come up? I was kind of told that they didn't do it on a regular basis...only for a short time period. At her last IEP, they included a social group goal. I believe she is in one once a week. They aren't super willing to work with us on the AS part of her diagnosis...they didn't want to add it in. She is also profoundly deaf (with cochlear implants and functions very well with them).

Thanks for your post....I need things broken down like that for me....I'm sure I've got some AS traits myself. Two low frustration tolerance people living in the same household don't make for a great match.

Ask what the qualifications are of the person who is doing it. If it's just the school counselor or the special ed teacher, it's not a qualified person. You need someone who is a certified behavior analyst - and when they do the FBA, they should be talking to lots of people to try to figure things out: the teacher(s), you, possibly your daughter. The Behavior Analyst should also observe in a variety of situations, which s/he already knows. A good FBA takes time. Schools sometimes are not interested in investing the time to do a proper FBA, but it is well worth it, because with the proper time and effort at the outset, it can really make a difference for the child and her ability to learn. Ultimately, it saves time, because there are fewer problems later, and less time spent on dealing with issues, since they aren't disrupting the class's or the child's ability to learn.

Oh my. 4 kids. And I can barely handle one. I don't know how you do it, but boy I respect you for it!

Social stories:
Booger. As a new poster I am not allowed to post URLs yet. I sent you a PM with the links. You can share them as you see fit since I can't!

And it sounds as if they are avoiding the real answer to your FBA request; I suggest you demand one ASAP. She obviously needs it.

In regards to more counseling...just because they usually don't doesn't mean they can't. If she needs it to participate in her FAPE then they must provide it. Course, proving she needs it is the stickler, but bringing her there after the fact doesn't do anyone any good, least of all her. And documenting how it doesn't prevent the behaviors would help in showing the after-the-fact counseling is not working.

I hate to sound militant, especially since I'm an OT in a public school and they pay my check, but I've been doing this for almost 20 years and have worked in districts that bent over backwards to avoid giving kids what they really needed (note: I don't work with those districts anymore!). And for all sorts of reasons; lack of staffing, money, didn't want to change, egos, you name it. So I have issues with professional who set kids up to fail by not supporting them.

Lastly, I was convinced my son would be profoundly autistic! My hubby and I, although never diagnosed, both have some strong Aspie traits ourselves. Fortunately, he seemed to come out fairly average. However, we are going to be having him evaluated for Aspergers hopefully in the coming month or 2, as he does have some Aspie signs and is having a horrible time in kindergarten.