fear of letting go + the need for stimulus input

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I think what's at the root of my 5 year-old's lifetime troubles with sleep is that he has so much trouble letting go of his need for stimulation. I think he has anxiety around going to bed because it means he'll eventually have to relax and stop seeking sensory input. We have worked really really hard on making bedtime a nice experience to try and combat this anxiety (which mostly shows itself in silly/wiggly/not listening behavior) but almost every night he comes up with 200 things to keep bedtime going, to keep sleep from coming.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing or something similar? To say he's been a difficult sleeper is a vast understatement. I truly think he's chronically sleep-deprived as a result of the anxiety he has. He sleeps the right number of hours but I just don't think he's getting very good sleep. I've only just now started to see it as anxiety, in addition to SI stuff. Up until now I've tried addressing it with sensory-type exercises for calming, but maybe I need to be looking at the anxiety instead?

Any thoughts on that? Thanks in advance.

I am assuming you have already tried the standard things like establishing a calming routine around bedtime. Have you considered trying melatonin or something like that to help him fall asleep?

Have you considered a weighted blanket? Even just to help him fall asleep, and then you can remove it and leave just a sleeping blanket? It may help with his need for stimulation by him feeling the pressure and also relieve his need to move around so much. Most kids I've heard respond well to it, don't feel trapped (as I think I would probably) but rather enjoy the "cocooning" feeling of it on their body.

A calming routine and the smell of lavendar is also helpful.

Hope this helps.

We've used melatonin too. It works great for him.

Since he has been in OT we have learned some new tricks. We spay shaving cream on the tub wall at bath time and he mushes his hands in it. Then he sits in an enclosed space (our 20 gal crock but the OT recommends a rubbermaid tub) he uses his therapy band like a sling shot and stretches it before bed.

I think the weighted blanket is a great idea too!

I like the weighted blanket idea as well, assuming he is seeking deep pressure. Some kids are very calmed by gently swinging in a soft hammock that wraps itself around them as well. If you want to try the weighted blanket, I could tell you how to make one or how to find a custom made one online. I made one for my daughter. Here is a place to buy them online from a lady who makes them after she made one for her son and it helped him:

http://www.weightedblanket.net/

Last edited by Aspen on 28 Feb 2006, 1:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My other child, who isn't technically on the spectrum, liked to watch TV from a rubber maid tub. He's gotten older now so he used those "egg" chairs. Those chairs are cool enough for a teen to have around for when his friends drop by but yet give him the pressure he likes.

I'd like to know how to make a pressure blanket...hint, hint, hint...

BeeBee

It requires a modicum of sewing ability. I made a smaller version of one for my legs because I have restless leg syndrome and was told it would help, and it has. My son doesn't suffer from the kinds of sensory issues that would be resolved by a weighted or pressure blanket so I never made/got one for him.

Basically you need to choose a fabric that won't shrink and washes well (flannel is nice) and it takes several layers, depending on the weight you want it to be. The fill that I was told to use is poly pellets. Basically you lay one blanket out flat. Picture squares all over the blanket. Fill each square with pellets, leaving room for the stitching between the squares. Lay the second blanket over top and stitch around each square, like a quilt. You can also use poly beans. They are machine washable, so you don't have to leave an out where you have to remove the weighting material every time you have to wash the blanket. You can make several "pairs" and use them separately or together depending on the weight you want/need at the time.

Excellent. Thank you.

We haven't tried the weighted blanket, but we have added extra blankets to my son's bed. Very soft ones, which he usually makes into a cocoon. He does not like the way sheets feel, so he'll put one soft blanket down over the sheets and use another soft blanket as a sheet and then put his comforter over the top of everything. Sometimes he'll add extra blankets when he is more stressed.

I also read to him nearly every night for about 30-45 minutes. While I read to him, he will either lay under his blankets or fiddle with some object. Today is my son's 10th birthday, and I never imagined I would still be reading to him at this age. But he loves it, and it's a good time for us to catch up and spend some quiet time together.

Well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM!

How wonderful!

We just sorta stopped reading shortly after D's 10th birthday. Then about two days ago, he asked that we start again. We started a long book so I thought we were back to it but he just wanted, needed, to be read to that one day.

I miss reading time.

BeeBee

We finally determined that only flannel sheets or the newer "tshirt" sheets (which don't hold up as well IMHO) are the only thing our son will sleep well on. Regular cotton sheets, no matter how high the thread count or the number of washings, just don't have the right amount of softness for him. The flannel ones come in characters and great colors, especially for the smaller beds.

Being read to is one of life's cherished moments I think. There's nothing more soothing and more peaceful.

I like the jersey t-shirt sheets too. But you're right. They don't seem to hold up very well.

Thank you for the Birthday wishes, BeeBee. His birthday is actually on the 29th, but since there isn't a 29th in February this year, he's been celebrating all week!

Aspiesmom1, flannel sheets are a great idea! I've thought about them, but since we always seem to have a nest of blankets on J's bed, and he has been happy, I haven't purchased any.

The weighted blanket is something I will definitely try! And I'm pretty sure I can find some flannel sheets to fit his bed -- tonight! Thanks for the tips AND for the instructions on the blanket. And I think I'll talk to the OT about Melatonin ... I'd forgotten about that option.

We have a really great bedtime routine and I know he likes it. We read for about a half hour, all cuddled up in bed (And I sincerely hope we're still doing it when he's 10. Reading together is such a nice thing to do!) with the lights low enough to be soothing. After that we rock in the rocking chair for a few minutes, which he loves. Usually all goes well untill he has to get into the bed and lie down and relax. He's cooperative but he can't seem to help but wiggle and move and then he starts getting verbal and distractive and gets out of bed if he can.

If we had a swing it would be IDEAL for him to swing before bed because that really calms him down. He's one of those kids who could sswing for hours. But we rent our apartment and can't install anything inside.

Here's a waaay off the cuff idea.

We were at Wally world this weekend, and I ran into an old friend in the garden center. The kids got bored waiting while mom chatted, and they sat on one of the garden/yard swings. Lo and behold, the back of the swing goes down and locks in so it's like a bed (kind of like a futon idea). 6 year old kiddo fell asleep immediately - car rides do it to her also. It's about the size of a double bed maybe. The whole thing costs 99 bucks and it swings. I don't know how much room you have, being in an apartment, but it requires no installation.

You need a sewing machine to make this blanket, BeeBee. A machine that sews zigzag seams for finishing raw edges would be a plus, but only a straight seam is essential. Ask D's OT how heavy the blanket should be for him, or as a general guide, you can make it about 10% of his weight to the nearest pound plus an extra pound. First you buy some cloth and something to weight the blanket with. Some people use those plastic beads that are in Beanie Babies because they are non-organic and therefore washable. You can buy the beads in two pound bags at Hobby Lobby, sometimes at Wal-Mart and sometimes at other fabric stores. They are cheaper at Wal-Mart if they have them, but they cost about $5 a bag at Hobby Lobby, where I bought them. Some people use rice, sand or aquarium gravel because it is less expensive, but then you have to sew pockets in the blanket so the sealed bags of weighting material are removable for washing, and that is more complicated. Also sometimes the sealed bags of weighting material will leak or get wet and that is nasty, especially when you use an organic substance like rice or beans.

So I will assume you decide to buy plastic beads and cotton fabric, twice the length you want the blanket to be plus a few inches to square it up and finish it and the width you want the blanket to be, plus about one-and-a-half inches for a seam allowance. A standard width for cotton cloth is 44-45 inches. If that is a good width for you, then you can buy that. If you want a wider blanket, decorator fabric is usually 54 inches wide or you can buy muslin in varying widths instead. I made a soft fleece cover with a zipper for my daughter's weighted blanket, so if you want one, you need to buy twice the length of fleece you want the blanket to be plus a few inches, as well as a zipper and either some heavy duty snaps to hold the blanket in place inside the cover, or maybe some ribbons for the corners to tie it in place. Also, most fleece is 58-60 inches wide, so you need to either buy the inner blanket fabric the same width, or you will need to trim the fleece.

For the weighted part of the blanket, you will first sew the sides together, wrong sides together along the selvages and square and finish the unfinished top edges. Then turn it right side out and press the side seams and press a seam allowance in the top edge. Then lay it out on the floor or a table and measure the blanket and then mark approximately every four or five inches across the blanket. You want all the marks to be spaced equally across the blanket. Then do the same thing up and down the blanket. You can use a wooden board for a long straightedge to make the marks with a fabric marking pencil all the way across the fabric.

After you mark the blanket, you will pin the blanket together and sew the longer seams up and down the blanket along the lines you marked. You will need to count or multiply how many individual pockets there will be over the whole blanket and divide the total weight of your weighting material by the number of pockets to figure out how much weighting material to put in each pocket. You could also do this by volume rather than weight, if you prefer, but the calculations will be a little more complicated. Then put that much material in each channel you have formed and allow it to settle to the bottom of each channel. Then sew along the bottom shorter line you have marked across the blanket. Put the same amount of weighting material in each channel again and sew another line across the blanket. Continue doing this until you get to the top and sew the last seam on top of the folded and pressed seam allowance at the top.

If you make a zippered fleece cover for the weighted blanket, sew the zipper in before you sew the side seams following the instructions on the zipper. Sew the ribbons into the side seams near the corners on the inside of the blanket cover. If you use snaps instead, then sew them onto the inside corners of the fleece cover and the outside corners of the inner blanket.

I hope this helps. If I was not clear, I will try to explain again.

Edit: I started this post and had to go out. Then I came back and finished it before I saw Aspiesmom1 and the other posts. Oh well, I was too slow.