Family situation-foreign exchange student

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We have an average NT foreign exchange student currently staying with us and we've had some bumps along the way....
Today our foreign exchange student got to witness our 10 year old have a full blown melt down.
This of course after the foreign exchange student spent the morning picking on him every time my back was turned. (found this out later)
*sigh*
The picking is usual stuff between older and younger boys, except that my youngest is not NT.
Suffice it to say that my youngest ended up spitting on the foreign exchange student and the foreign exchange student ended up grabbing my son's face with one hand and squeezing it which ultimately ended up with me having to restrain my 10 year old for everyone's safety.
I am so regretting hosting now. We've already discussed differences as best as possible but I think the foreign exchange student just views our youngest as a brat because he does act younger than his age and doesn't behave typically and thus reacts so.
I'm probably just venting but any suggestions are welcomed.
The foreign exchange student is 17.

Any way you look at it, the foreign exchange student is a guest in your home and he was bullying your kid. Maybe he's testing his limits. I'd read him the riot act.

Woah! No way should a 17 year old grab a 10 year old's face! Even if he needed to defend himself, he should have grabbed his arm or something. Also, the picking on your son is not on either, regardless of whether your son has autism or not. His behaviour is disgraceful

You are the host family and you have the right to contact whoever's in charge of the exchange programme and get him removed immediately; he can either stay with another family or go back home.

When he was 13, my brother was on an exchange thing too; the kid they sent over was a total nightmare and the teachers had to come round to our house (he tried to get us in trouble because my mum wouldn't let him stay out in town at night). We got rid off him after a week thankfully!

This kid really isn't a nightmare. He's just used to being an only child.
He's been foisted into a chaotic family of 6 who is not sports oriented as he is.
He's very good at his chosen sport and was recruited by the school my son attends to play that sport specifically. My youngest son is currently thriving in the school but they've been pushing to place him in a more expensive "program" and remove him from the teacher who has him making a's and b's for the first time in his life.
Also, I only have contact with the "rep" who brought him here, who is also a head honcho at this school.
This is apparently a small school based program...
yeah, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
As of right now our student knows he crossed the line. He's grounded to his room and my son is grounded to his. I do have contact with the parents and I will speak to them tonight of course, I think this will do more than anything

He does well except with younger kids. He just has no idea how to deal with them at all. He gets annoyed by them.
Apparently his dad is a functional alcoholic by US standards. He's from Europe..near the Ukraine.
He came here not knowing how to fix food in the microwave, or wash his clothes. His mom did all of that. He's been here since September and I've gotten him fixing hot pockets and ramen noodles. He also washes his own clothing now.
He's also sick alot with upper respiratory stuff not sure if he's just not used to our germs or what.

Perhaps if you sit him down and explain about your son's AS (without yout son being present) and explain that he may be ten physicaly, but mentaly he is about five or six. Tell him that bullying in your house is not allowed and he dosen't stop, he will go back to the Urkaine.

I'm so bad at being threatening to children I think. I'm the one who either does, or doesn't...besides, I have no control whether he goes back or not, just whether he stays in my home. I will probably ask him if the arrangement is or is not working out for him and share with him that if it isn't working out we will make other arrangements or he can look for an alternative situation.
I do believe he is testing his limits.
This behavior is not occurring in front of my hubby, only when he leaves, and right behind my back. Also, he came downstairs just recently and changed the channel on my kids to comedy central, a channel they DO NOT watch at all.
He's been texting like mad too.
You know, I was just thinking about this but his coach and his girlfriends mom came by when he was sick and kept mentioning how he is always hungry, and how they were worried about him because he never says anything when he needs something. I'm so bad at reading people but he may be trying to go stay with his girlfriend maybe and might be trying to make me mad.
This is funny because you can do this kinda stuff all day and so many times I just don't get it because I'm not a gameplayer.

Maybe talk to the coach, too? Aspergers is a label known in most parts of the world, so I would use it to explain your son and remind the 17 year old that as the bigger and stronger one he has certain responsibilities towards the younger children, and one responsibility is to NOT strike back - if your child crosses the line, the exchange student should bring the issue to you instead of reacting himself.

I do think it is a good idea to give him the opportunity to tell you if he isn't comfortable in your home. Tell him you need to know, that being honest is in everyone's best interest.

I remember doing a band trip where I was placed in a family that made me very uncomfortable. It was just going to be a few days, but the organizers moved me right away. I wasn't even looking to have that happen; I simply expressed my discomfort to someone because, well, I was feeling it. They were lovely people, just not my kind of lovely people. That sort of stuff happens; it's no ones fault.