How is your child rude?

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I hear that people on the spectrum are rude and was curious how your child is rude. IMO my little sister who's 10 is VERY rude alot like myself at times. Some examples.

:We just had a FL freeze and most grass is brown me mom mention this the little sisters response no it's not all brown there's green there and there (IMO that's kind of being literal)

:2nd She lied and had bad grade issues in the past so no more gymnastics dad stands by this to this day. Well she was kind of demanding that she was going to go to gym but dad brought up she messed up last time. I brought up what if she said nicely "Hey can I have a second chance I'll try to do better etc.") Instead she was rude like she is alot of the time.

So is YOUR child rude? and any examples? Is this normal 10yr. behavior or not? thanks WP

i am rude because people tell me I am.

As annoying as these situations are with my twelve year old, I am forced to admit that at least half of the time his "rudeness" is actually just lack of social finesse.

The other half of the time though, he is actually trying to be obnoxious.

I have to agree with MorbidMiss, my sons are sometimes just flat out rude (and know it) but other times, they are just missing social cues.

example:

We see the ads on TV for the World Biggest Loser, and my son says "Mom, you should go on that show!" I am definitely overweight, and I have a sense of humor, so I laughed. My husband, on the other hand, was NOT amused.

Once I explained to my son that the above situation may be very embarrassing and humiliating to someone (besides me), he felt very bad. This son is a rather caring individual, and wouldn't purposely hurt anyone.

My other son though -- he started out as a caring individual, but through the years has become one of those guys who comes off as rude at times, and doesn't really care if he hurts somebody's feelings. He would care about his wife, for sure, but anyone else, not so much. He does try to work on it, though.

My son is rude all the time but he really cant understand, why it is rude to say the things he says. Like he goes around telling people I like yr fat belly! but he doesnt understand why its rude because he really likes it. Or if someone smells he will say ,you smell bad, ILL let u shower at my house! And he is seven, he has lots of worse things he says to but hell ask me why someone got upset with him.

Yes, Billy 10 yr old aspie, is often rude, but it is just lack of social graces at this point. He is learning. Unfortunately, he takes criticism very personally, but that is no reason to try and help him learn.

He is constantly correcting adults, which gets old, but I don't harp on that. I think later in life it may serve him as being a software tester / QA analyst.

Other things are saying inappropriate things, like announcing at a get together that his mom has to "pee like a race horse".

The thing I do correct him on is when he throws a tantrum because someone is using something he wants to use (like wanting the computer when I have to work), but he doesn't want to share his things with other people.

Not intentionally, but he rarely says please and certainly never to his sister, and he is hard pressed to acknowledge an acquaintance in public unless he immediately has an idea about something he wants to discuss with them. People pretty much accept it all as "just him" at this point but still...

Oh, and write a thank you note? Never - "but I get writer's cramp!" Or, "but I didn't want that one!"

Sigh. So much of that stuff doesn't make sense to him, and as long as his family and two friends seem to like him anyway ... lol, and if they didn't, he'd think we were making mountains out of molehills.

I get that one a lot, "I didn't want that", "That isn't what I asked for".

I am never sure if it is entirely his being on the spectrum or at least half his being a twelve year old boy. I've never managed thank you notes, it seems the best I can do is prompt him at the time to say thank you while the person is still present.

I always view "rude" as premeditated insult. If you just call like you see it with no social finesse, well...that a bit different. It's more naivete. Aspie's make mistakes, make many enemies and then learn,"Oopps...maybe I should not have said that." But it's hard to learn from scratch if every situation is different. Ah....aspies....either you love us or hate us. It's not out fault. Sometimes we actually do people favors by being "painfully" honest.
P.S. Does this dress make me look fat?......hell yes! So, now I can go and wear something that doesn't make me look fat even if I am actually "fat" to begin with.

My 6 yo is both incredibly polite and incredibly rude.

He always says "please" and "thank you" because we taught him that early on.

But he often lets out an exasperated sigh, like this is the most burdensome thing EVER!

Also, he is painfully honest, like when he told my friend's mother that she should go home because she was bothering us. Well, she was.

Gotta love the honesty, but let's face it, it's an acquired taste.

When I go to pick my 12-year old AS son up from school, I see how rude the other kids are. I'll be walking to the school, with my 8 year old, and these middle-schoolers are sauntering along shouting vulgarities at each other, spitting, swearing. I shudder to think what they are like when they are not passing a grown-up with a child.

My son is not like that, although when he's having a meltdown he uses the f-word. He didn't use to, but he hears it at school so much, it just happens. I disapprove, but mostly let it slide, provided he's really in a meltdown. That's what those words are for, I suppose, and it's better for him to blurt out a few harmless words than to than to throw a chair at his brother.

The only time he's rude, pretty much, is when he talks about inappropriate things while people are eating. "Doesn't this food look like it came out of someone's nostrils?" If people get angry or annoyed when he does that, it sends him into silly-mode, and he seems to be unable to stop. It's like he goes into another zone, and has to get it out of his system before achieving normality.

Almost everytime my parents acuse me of being rude, I have no idea I am. I have often heard that people with AS are rude because they are not aware they are.

My 15 year old Autie daughter doesn't seem to grasp a lot of the social nuances yet. I have to remind her to say "thank you", especially if she's given a gift that doesn't totally bowl her over. She is saying please and thank you more often without prompting, though, and we're happy about that. However, she still comes up with some good ones! My sister was over visiting the other evening and was talking about how early she had to get up the next day for work. Amy pipes up with, "Why don't you leave now?" I knew that she was thinking that my sister should get home early and get lots of sleep, but for someone who didn't know how Amy's mind works, it sure sounded awful!

I don't think my 16 year old is rude at all, she just appears to be rude to people who don't understand her.

She will have a friend round and will go and make a drink for herself. It doesn't occur to her to offer her friend one, she has to be reminded to do it.

If a friend asks her what she thinks of the friends new dress, she will tell the truth and possible say it's horrible and the colours are ugly. It doesn't occur to her to keep her thoughts to herself.

And when it comes to pitch and tone of voice, she just doesn't have a clue. The number of times she has been told off for being rude purely because the tone of her voice is wrong is staggering. She has absolutely no awareness of what she is doing wrong. You can tell her a million times and she still won't get it.