Well i talked with my son about AS

Post Reply New Topic

I took Tracker's advice a couple of days ago and began to ask my son some questions about how he feels he compares to other kids, and about his own observations and feelings about himself. I found out that he does feel very different from other people and he always has. We had a pretty in depth conversation about it all, but i won't go into detail about all of that right now. I knew it would make him curious eventually to see me on this forum so often, so last night i was playing some of the forums games and he popped his head over my shoulder to see what i was doing, as usual, and when he realized i was playing forum games became very interested. He kept asking me about the games, who was winning, who replied to me with what, and so on. He'd come back every few minutes to check up on the game progress. So when i logged on this morning he was excited to see who was winning since last night. Then it came out of the blue, "Mom, do i have Aspergers Syndrome"? I said "I'm not sure". "Mom do you have Asperger's Syndrome"? So i knew it was time to talk to him about what Apsergers is, what my observations have been, and to ask for his feedback. He already knew it was a form of autism. I explained a few differences between Aspergers and the type of autism his cousin has. I explained that one of his aunts and my sister's husband also have AS. So when it came to the feedback part he said "Yeah, i'm pretty sure i have it, at least mildly." When i asked him how he felt about it, at first he said "Not good, or bad," so i asked "Do you feel any relief, to have an understanding of why you have always felt so different"? He said "Yeah, that's what i feel, relieved". He also informed me that he doesn't want to be treated for it, that he likes the way he is, he likes being a unique person, and he doesn't want his AS to "go away". He just wishes other people accepted him more the way he is. I assured him that i accept him and love him exactly how he is and i don't want his AS to go away either. I told him we can check out some books and learn some skills to help him with his problem areas and he can keep developing his strengths, but that won't make his AS go away, and that he will always be a special person. I told him about "Freaks, Geeks, and Aspergers Syndrome" and "All Cats Have Aspergers Syndrome" of which they have both at our local library, and asked him if he would like me to check them out to read together and he said yes. There were no tears, just a few quiet solemn minutes, and he came to acceptance really quickly. He didn't ask for or seem concerned with getting a formal diagnosis when i mentioned it. Within about 20 minutes he now seems glad to think of himself as having AS. I also just noticed a couple other symptoms during our conversation as well. He has always had a high tolerance for pain (i used to call him a tank as a toddler). He admitted to me that his repetitive noises are sometimes echolalic. He said when he hears one of his brothers say a word he will start repeating it to himself using different pitches and tones of voice. He also told me recently that he sometimes slaps himself in the face in his room when he's mad at himself for his poor impulse control (obviously not a good thing), which reminded me of how he used to bang his forehead on things when he was mad as a toddler. I would have to grab him and put my hands over the front of his head to block the blows. So there we have it. Puzzle mostly solved, at least for now. I'll keep you guys updated on our progress and any other changes that come up, and i'm sure i'll be here often for advice. Oh yeah, he asked me if he can make an account for this website so he can post on the kids' forum and play some of the forum games. He also said it would be nice to find a kid more like himself to play with.

Peace

_________________
SAHM to 3 home schooled boys, ages 11 undiagnosed AS, almost 9 NT, and 4 NT. We also share our home with 13 companion animals including 5 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 aquatic turtles, and 1 chinese water dragon

funny. i seem to keep catching your posts when i pull up WP.

anyway--i hope this is appropriate, but----YAY! (it's a wonderful story to read, btw.)

I'm so glad the conversation went well!

I am so glad to hear it all went well. I think you've handled it perfectly, and we'd be happy to have your son here posting in the Kid's Crator. It isn't all that active there, but it's a start.

It really is relief to have that part of the process- the talking about it - over with, isn't it?

I'm also happy that the conversation went well.

Aw... I loved this post. Great moming herbalmistress!

I know that you are so relieved! I am glad that the two of you together can move ahead and help him to work through his difficulties. It is funny how things seem to work themselves out.
Blessings to you and your entire family!!

Thanks so much to all of you for the advice and support! All the stress has been giving me headaches, but i'm sure i'll be feeling better soon.

Peace.

_________________
SAHM to 3 home schooled boys, ages 11 undiagnosed AS, almost 9 NT, and 4 NT. We also share our home with 13 companion animals including 5 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 aquatic turtles, and 1 chinese water dragon

Well, this sounds good.

That is good to hear. He sounds very smart for his age.

Yes, excellent.

You should always follow my advice.

By the way... I advise you to pay my rent bill.

herbalmistress,

It sounds like you two DO have AS. I'm glad to hear it went well

Yes, excellent.

You should always follow my advice.

By the way... I advise you to pay my rent bill.

I can tell i'm being teased here a little bit. So let me just say i can't give Tracker all the credit. I checked, and it was actually DW_ a_ mom who advised me to ask my son how he feels he compares to other kids. I guess i more so meant i took Tracker's advice about how to discuss the AS without it seeming overwhelming or looming. To tell the truth everyone here has advised me well, and it was a combination of everyone's thoughts which led me to handle the situation the way i decided to. I shall be more careful in the future not to give credit to only one individual for something that was obviously a group effort.

Oh, and Tracker, no i will not pay your rent bill.

Peace.

_________________
SAHM to 3 home schooled boys, ages 11 undiagnosed AS, almost 9 NT, and 4 NT. We also share our home with 13 companion animals including 5 cats, 2 dogs, 3 ferrets, 2 aquatic turtles, and 1 chinese water dragon