Older Child | Night Wetting

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Hi,
My son, age 12, has Aspies, still wets at night. Yes, we have tried everything from pull-ups, alarms, professional help, and even me setting two different alarms to have him go in the middle of the night so he wakes up dry. I strongly believe it is NOT a behavioral issue. It almost seems as it could possibly be an Aspie thing? Not sure. The reason I suspect, is because during the day he gets so involved, occasionally he forgets to go, or he is so preoccupied he doesn't even realize he's gone.

This past year, I somewhat have accepted the fact that this is the way it will be - if we want him dry at night - wake him twice every night. (And yes, we limit liquid & food intake after a certain hour)

I guess just knowing someone else out there may have the same situation, would be a huge relief. Obviously, this is not something people want to talk about in public.

I hope someone responds, it would help.

This is a fairly common problem amongst autistic/asperger's syndrome people. Not all people have this problem, but a lot do. It comes up somewhat often on these boards, and there was just a topic about this last week:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt122460.html

It is due to the internal senses not working very well. If you have read much about the condition you will probably be familiar with the fact that the senses (as in touch, sight, smell, hearing, and taste) are all jacked up and don't always work normally. Sometimes the senses may be oversensitive, and sometimes they may be undersensitive. If the child's own internal senses aren't working very well then they will not get the signal that their bladder is full and that they need to use the bathroom. While a normal person would get this signal loud and clear, thus waking them up, an autistic person may not get the signal at all and thus sleep right through wetting themselves.

As you have said it isn't a behavioral problem, and there really isn't anything you can do through talking therapy. The problem is purely physical in nature, not psychological. It is like a paraplegic person not getting up and helping with unloading the car. They aren't being rude, their nerves just don't operate well enough to send the appropriate signals to their legs. Likewise your son's bladder isn't sending the right signals to his brain, or his brain isn't capable of processing the signals.

I am not sure how you can solve this other then by just keeping some diapers ready. There are many people in this world who have incontinence problems through no fault of their own. If buying them in the store is embarrassing you can also order them over the internet. They come in a variety of sizes and styles, and some of them look just like boxer shorts. I don't recall the name of the thread, but there was a discussion on the general forums about adults who still have this problem. Just type in 'wetting' into the search box and you will see that there is a lot of threads about this.

Without trying to get too involved and seem weird I remember that one of the men posted that he wore a tight jock strap to bed and the added pressure was enough to keep him from urinating. You could always try that.

I wet the bed until I was thirteen. I suspect it was due to the stress of being bullied on the daily basis because it stopped as soon my parents took me out to homeschool me and I was constantaly asured I would never go back to public school.

It's not just an Aspie thing. There are children whose nervous system simply does not mature enough to send signals to wake up when s/he has to "go" until their teens. My youngest daughter is 9 and the only one of my kids who's honestly NT, and she wets the bed. I have to keep my husband and other two kids from giving her crap. I keep telling them that it's just a developmental variant but some people never get it

~Kate

Hi all!

Thanks so much for responding to my question. You all have been very helpful.

His brain has not reached effective communication with his bladder. I'm aspie and I had stopped at 13 years of age. He'll eventually stop but it's going to be an expense that requires a lot of patience until he does. Those night pants cost a bundle after a while. Back in the sixties, there were no night pants for me and my mother became so frustrated that she gave up. I just crawled back into a dried, smelly-pee bed every night until the weekend came when the laundry got done. My son stopped wetting the bed at 8 years of age. There was nothing I could do but arm him with night pants. Then, one day he started getting up and going to the bathroom. He told me that now he can "feel" when he needs to go. He was unable to feel it before because his brain wasn't in tune with the bladder. Now, he's 11 and has never had a bed-wetting accident. The brain-bladder connection takes time and is different with every individual. Don't fret.

I wet the bed until I was almost 13. I wore pull ups every night, and I remember that eventually I would start waking up to a dry pull up. Eventually every night was dry, and I started to risk going to bed without one.
I did learn quite a few nifty tricks for hiding my bed wetting at summer camp and slumber parties, though! Sleeping bags are wonderful, because one can hide a pull up inside, and change into pajamas in the sleeping bag, subtly slipping on the pull up without anyone knowing...

From the other comments here, I think your son will probably be fine eventually.

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My daughter (8 next month) will wet the bed on occasion if she doesn't use the rest room right before bed. Through the day sometimes I do have to remind her to go because I will notice her "dancing" sometimes she will go, other times she will deny that she needs to. After a while she will do a mad dash to the rest room. I think through the day she gets caught up in what she's doing and doesn't want to take a quick break to relieve herself. But at night, I think it is a lot to do with what Meow101 said about their nervous sustem not being mature enough to send signals to wake up when they need to go. Strangely, I remember wetting the bed at times when I was a child and what was weird was that my body knew I needed to go so I would be needing to pee in my dream and in my dream I would be finding a toilet and of course when I found one in the dream and started to pee in the dream, I would wake up actually peeing. OMG! So I learned that when I was dreaming about needing to pee that I needed to wake up! Hate to share something like that, lol. But it does show a link between mind and body, and if there are mind/body connection issues, then this could be happening.

You won't find much on it in the literature, but some medications, such as some SSRI's like Prozac can cause this.

If it's being caused by something like Prozac then there is a nose spray (of all things!) they give for it. I don't recall the name but it might be able to help with it regardless.

You may also want to have him tested for a sleep disorder, maybe even seizures.

My son is 6 and has Aspergers. I was recently at our local Autism Society Parents support group and this very topic came up. Turns out that this appears to be a common ASD problem. Every single mom in the group has experienced this same problem in varying degrees with their Aspie child.
It does not happen with all ASD kids but it is part of the many different possible issues.

On this note :
If your child has this problem and you have Medicaid they will pay for pull ups, bed pads to protect mattresses, and clean up supplies that are delivered to your door monthly.

ApsieMom3