Looking a social group for my Aspie Daughter

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Sounds some what of an oxymoron I am sure, but I have been searching for a local " play group" that my 11 year old Aspie daughter can join and haven't been able to find any. Anyone have this problem also? My daughter is SOOOO outgoing and craves having friends, but has the darnest time keeping friends due to the Asperger's. She is involved in the community local soccer sports team, but still hasn't been able to make "friends" really with anyone. She really has no one to play with as she is an only child and there aren't any children in her age group in our neighborhood. I have searched the local area in hopes of locating a Aspie group for her, but haven't had any luck. there is a local Autism group, but I have found there aren't any play groups for the kids. the autism society meets locally but usually only provides speakers and the like, but nothing socially for these kids. I am REALLY frustrated.............. Anyone else have this problem? Any advice? What did you do to help your child???

I know what you mean and I deal with that too...

My daughter likes some team sports and is actually good at softball - but she doesn't 'bond' with the other kids on the team. Groups are difficult, if a kid doesn't know how to 'inject' themselves into the group they aren't really a part of it.

It's odd - I can take my son somewhere and in a few minutes - he is at the center of the group. My daughter is always on the outside... Sometimes even a few steps away. I have found that getting her into activities that are less 'group oriented' and more individual based has helped her. She can relate to one or two other kids more easily and in a situation where the social aspect of it is NOT the main reason we're there. Like figure skating. She is with a smal group that is put into even smaller groups where the girls work together. The focus is on the skating, but they do socialize too. There isn't a lot of pressure to make friends - but it does happen in the course of time.

It doesn't have to be skating - it can be anything from art lessons or sewing to music, tennis, swimming or horse back riding. It should be something she enjoys - less stress will make her more into opening up socially.

You may also want to check with her school - there is a possibility that there are other kids there who are like your daughter. I got involve in the parent group at my daughter's school and I've been able to connect with other parents who have kids like mine. Most of us are actually pretty involved with our kids, and I never would have known there were others until I asked. I don't tell anyone right off the bat about my daughter's AS. The kids knowing eachother has given them a connection at school - someone to sit with in the lunch room, talk to between classes and sit with during assemblies. The kids seem to want to spend some time together away from school too.

I did look into groups for AS teens - but didn't really see it as beneficial. These are coupled with 'therapy' and really - my daughter doesn't need therapy. While they can be very helpful with social skills - those are things you can help her with too - just talking about things and getting her views and giving her input can make it easier for her.

Probably told you more than you wanted of needed to know. But this is what has worked for us.

AS boys will bond around gaming - things like D&D or Warhammer - and if you have a specialty game store in your area, they will actually hold activities for players. I know your daughter is a "she" and not a "he," but the boys will play with anyone who shares their interests. That might be a way to go, if she has interest in that sort of thing.

I agree with the previous poster that enrolling her in activities is the most comfortable way to lead her into socializing. There is a built in commonality and topic of conversation.

Carpools are also great. My son is really close friends with a very popular kid as the result of 5 years of car pooling. Got to love that.

In my area there is an Autism/Aspergers group that has a kids group seperate from the parents group. They both meet at the same time each week. The parents group has some really good speakers and the kids group has workers/counselors who do activities with the kids. This gives the kids something to do and they are able to build friendships with kids who are like them.

If you live in Virginia, look up Lutheran Family Services of Virginia (while they have "Lutheran" in the name, they don't force a religious message of any kind in their programs). They have one of these programs set up at their branches.