Does your child have problems in school?

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The 10 year old is having trouble in math which all kids have trouble no biggie but the 8 year old who is in second grade for 3 years NOW Kindergarden,1st,2nd grade whines about not wanting to do homework! FOR 3 YEARS NOW! It's getting OLD!! !! I remember an idea of letting her read books she likes but she has approved books by the school sent home. (Little pamphlet books) and sometimes she flatout refuses to do homework leading to upsetting mom to the point of yelling etc. Also with basic math she fails that too. 2 bags of 154 marbles how many does Joe have? Well she does 2+154=354 (answer is multiple choice answer isn't there she chooses 154!) I try to help but she's whiney that THE ANSWER ISN'T THERE!! !! Then mom says never mind and I go off to my room. There seems to be no helping her!! !! Also we heard from the teacher she just sits there and does it when she decides to do it (in turn choosing any old answer since she's close to running out of time probably) We're afraid she might be held back!! ! We've suggested testing but teachers and such say she doesn't need it. (We're afraid of a learning issue) We are at a loss!! ! So I thought I'd post the problem on WP and get some views.

why don't you try with small numbers first.
for example joe has 2 bags with 4 marbles in each and advance to 10 or 14 .
of course she whines, that is ok, i whine about my work/boss all the time. you would whine if you had to do line integrals.

Interesting idea with the basic numbers. She's up to 3 digits now perhaps that's too hard for her but that is what she's being taught. So you whine too LOL! That's her one trait I HATE whining about EVERYTHING! school work/my sister hit me *whine* etc. It's so ANNOYING! LOL!

Have the teachers said on what basis they think she doesn't need testing? Do they have any (reasonable) theories as to why she doesn't seem to be able to grasp the work? If they don't understand what her problem is, they "should" welcome the input/explanation that testing would provide. If they do understand the problem, they should be able to teach in a way that addresses her needs! If they say that she is "just lazy," that is a sign that they don't understand what is going on with her, and that they don't want to. Put your request for an evaluation in writing. The school district then has to evaluate within 60 days, or refuse in writing. You can take them to due process to request the evaluation. If your daughter is struggling in class, the teachers can't figure out the problem, and she is in danger of being retained, the school would have a hard time justifying a refusal to evaluate.

You and the teachers can spend days, weeks and months trying to figure out what is going on. A good evaluation should be able to give you some good solid answers, along with useful recommendations for use in the classroom. It could save you and the teachers a huge amount of time and stress in "trial and error" determinations. If your gut tells you testing would be useful, pursue it!

Part of the reason why I'm having my daughter tested is because of school woes, as well. She didn't like it from the beginning, to say the least. First grade she couldn't catch onto reading, and only learned to read when we stopped reading the text from the Animal Crossing Video game to her-- then in the period of a summer she taught herself to read past her grade level.

Second grade she was having issues with some math problems and suddenly stopped doing homework. I'd ask all the girls if they'd done it and they'd say yes. Since the other two girls are self motivated, I figured I didn't need to check my littlest one's as well. After a few weeks of her saying she was doing it, I kinda caught on she WASN'T. I made a bit of an experiment then to see how long she'd actually carry this on, and she literally lied for five weeks while not doing a lick of homework. Needless to say, I *made* her do every single assignment plus extra once her teacher wrote a note home (I still don't understand why it took the teacher that long, though) So now I check her homework to be sure she's done it.

This year her school problems involve emotional meltdowns more than anything else-- and those are almost always triggered by something to do with group work or team sports. With the meltdowns happening, and the teachers contacting me more often, I figured it was time to find out what was going on (ie testing for AS).

I think in her case, motivation and interest has a lot to do with learning, as well as self-confidence. If she has an idea how it should be done, she's willing enough to do the work, but if she doesn't understand it she won't. Getting her to read "for fun" was difficult as well, she'd usually just bring home the same book about ladybugs (she likes them a lot). We finally found some fiction books that captured her imagination, though-- Geronimo Stilton books. Interestingly about them- the text font varies according to what word is written-- the word HOT will be in flame-like font, etc.

So maybe with your child's math issues, it might be either not understand the process of the problem or mayhbe it needs to be shown to her in a way that will spark her interest?

MsLeeLoo: my son is like that, learns in jumps, if he gets it he gets it but if he doesn't it take years.This type of learning is in collision with standard teaching/ciricullum where everything is done gradually. I understand that since my brain works like that so I am prepared that there will be bumps in school.

When my son was having trouble understanding basic multiplication, I showed him how it was really just adding in a different way by laying out small objects in groups. He got it right away. Sometimes explaining something the same way over and over doesn't help and the child needs a completely different perspective. Try a visual approach.

OMG! The 'math screamies'! !!

Been there - done that. Since my daughter was diagnosed before she started school she's was already tested by the school and they started her in with the Saxon Math Program. It's a lot of repetition.

Even that could be frustrating for her - ya don't know how cruddy I'd feel when she had to turn in tear stained homework. Poor kid. One of the things that helped the most was switching techniques when she just didn't 'get something' after trying a problem one way for a little while. Ya have to figure - if the kid didn't get it the first 10 times - doing the same thing 10 more times is not going to change that fact.

Try visualization (drawing pictures), use a 'story' that she can relate to solve the problem. I don't know if other AS kids are like this - but once my daughter 'got it' she didn't forget how to do the problem math problems again. EVER.

She lagged waaaaayyy behind in math too. But each year she moved forward more. By the time she was finishing 4th grade - she was to the point that most kids are when just starting 4th grade. WE (her Dad and I) made the choice to keep her back in 4th grade for one more year. The school wasn't really supportive of that decision, but we wanted to get her 'aligned' scholastically and ease her into the regular cirriculum in all of her subjects. Keeping her behind was the BEST decision we could have ever made. She's now in 7th grade - taking all of the regular classes that everyone else takes. She is a really good math student (which is totally amazing considering the tantrums, tears, yelling and all those poor broken pencils...) and she's on the honor roll!

Don't let the frustration get to you - it will only make it worse for her. When it get's too be too much - walk away, let her take a break - then come back and try a different approach. Above all - when she 'gets it' - WOO-HOO! Hug her and tell her how great she did. And how proud you are of her.

Oh - and if you can - during the summer break - keep up the math and any other subject she may have trouble with. Doesn't have to be an everyday deal. But help her keep it 'fresh'. I noticed that my daughter had a tendency to fall back in her skills over the summer and she'd have to relearn some of the concepts when she started back to school each fall.

Good Luck.

I recently made an agreement with my sisters school that she doesn't have to do homework. She sounds very much like your kid. Absolute refusal since the first grade. It physically distresses her to the point where she gets sick. I think when she is home from school she is so wound up from trying to be 'normal' and all the information she has had to absorb that when she comes home she needs to forget about school and everything related to it and do her own thing and diffuse herself.

If your kid has this same problem, I would not try and force them to do homework as you are adding to an already overloaded brain (which is aching to unload all the sensory input of the day) and asking it to keep piling more thoughts/senses on top of that. If this sounds like what your kid might be going through, I'd see if you could come up with a similar arrangement with his school.

I have also heard that many schools are comnsidering aboloshing homework anyway as some studies have shown it's unhealthy for children. I think that would be great!

In the example given (2 bags of 154 marbles) it looks like your sister has just focussed on the 2 numbers (2 and 154) and worked out that she has to do something with them, and performed addition, which is probably the simplest operation she knows how to do. It might help if you drew 2 bags, and explained that these were the 2 bags that Joe had. Then write the number 154 inside, and explain that that is how many marbles there are- 154 in each bag. Then ask how many marbles there are in both bags. If she says "154", explain that that is how many there are in each bag, and that what she is working out is how many in both bags added together. Depending on whether or not she gets it, you might need to say something like "154 in one plus 154 in another is...?" If she has trouble with that, write the numbers underneath each other
154
154

and explain that the numbers that are under each other get added (don't forget to explain about carrying numbers that are more than 10, or you might get an answer like 2108 ).
That way, she will understand that 2 bags of 154 marbles (2 lots of 154) is 154 plus 154.
After that, you can show her how to multiply 154 by 2 to show her that 154+154 is the same as 154*2. You can also do this with other numbers (e.g. 4+4+4 = 4*3) to show the relationship between addition and multiplication.

I find that most cases I've seen of "This child is dumb/lazy and just doesn't get it" are really cases of "this child hasn't had someone explain these concepts to them in a way that they can understand". It might take a bit more work to find the way of explaining that works, but it's worth it.

My son is in high school and I think he may have aspergers. He is a whiz at math and good at science, but he cannot write a report at all. He seems to have difficulty concentrating upon shaping the letters and remembering what he wants to say at the same time. He cannot seem to take notes by himself or put it all together into a report. Is there some kind of remedial help for him? He has no problems with grammar concepts and he is average at spelling. I know he cannot do college work unless these things are corrected.

we have some trouble...Madison is able to read on grade level...but her handwriting is nearly illegible if she isn't REALLY focusing on it...and until last year (6th grade) she was still reversing letters and numbers with the school system saying she didn't need testing because her reading is on grade level. Math is better, and she has real interest in social studies. Medication has really helped her a lot. She takes meds for ADHD and there's a real improvement in her ability to concentrate. Earlier this year we worked out that she would do homework right after she gets home so that 1) she would have the benefit of her meds and 2) we would no longer battle (we were both tired of the homework battle, it's been going on for years). Sixth grade and the beginning of seventh grade, the big problem of homework was all the work she did, but couldn't find when she needed to turn it in. It was a nightmare. She would do assignments two and three times. It still happens, but it seems like she's managing better. Makes me tired when it happens.

Some problems are behavioral, and a lot happens at the beginning of the year while she's 'getting used to school'. She had a pretty serious incedent with a teacher this year because of emailing a project that somehow got messed up....when she saw it she literally freaked out. And now there's swearing which happens in middle school. She's brought that home, and we've had to talk at different times about swearing, and of course things get taken for that. That's added an interesting dynamic. She basically puts a tough persona on at the beginning...she's learned that as a result of being picked on over time...until she's comfortable to be herself. That's really hard. I email with teachers a lot during the year....get called a lot at the beginning, and often feel tired....it's exhausting sometimes. Harder because I'm a single mom and a voracious reader...so her disinterest (it seems like more than that....like she has some sort of a aversion to the written word) has been difficult...I've always read stories to her because she loves stories and fantasy...and she always had to read to me. So when I asked at school why her spelling was so bad and about the letter reversal that teachers always said would correct itself. the one teacher said that children who have to read at home spell better (I just rolled my eyes inwardly)...ack.

What lesson I've learned from this is that she does have gifts...instead of focusing on what is difficult for her, I need to encourage what she likes (geography, orchestra). and let her do her best on the rest.

But the school difficulties some of you are referring to I see with an ASD child at school. He will REALLY refuse to do any writing. Sometimes he's gotten so upset he's had to go home because of it. The other day we were talking about him moving up to chapter books rather than Bob books, he asked in his broken language if he was finished with writing. He certainly wants it to just come to an end....he had a hard time with me telling him he'd be writing in first grade (he's been with us for 3 years, one prek and two k years). He's made so much progress...it's pretty amazing, but we do wonder what life will be like for him in first grade.

Bethanie

I did. I just could not think unless my special intrests were involved somehow. My 3rd teacher constantaly belittled me and made me feel worthless. If I knew sucide was physicaly possible I would have attempted it until I was dead. I supposedly had "behavior" problems but did that make it okay for the teacher to be a bully? I think the "behavior problems" were either blown out of porption by the teacher when she told my parents, I was doing something innocent but the teacher thought it was weird and it got turned into a power struggle when she tried to make me stop, I was trying to defend myself from a bully or perhaps I was simply bored. I suppose if I was molested sexualy as a child that would be my fault as well. I am NEVER going to forgive my parents for saying that it was partley my fault or I was partly to blame becuase of my behavior. I am always going to be resentful twoards them for making those comments. Fourth grade wasn't much better and my parents took me out in 5th grade.

We had another hard day where the 8 year old didn't want to do homework! I heard her crying (from me outside doing laundry) I assumed she had fell but she was sitting indian style in the kitchen floor squalling mom left!! !! (Mom was outside sitting in the truck locked) She said enough is enough etc. (which IMO I agree the whining DAILY over school work) Finally mom came back in and the 8 year old did the work. Life is so stressful in the home just WOW!! !! We've mention just letting her NOT do the work and fail. (that's my view) She finally got it done though but the stress leading to doing the work is INSANE!

Maths!! !! ! Yuck! Scream!! ! Swear #@&%

My son is 11 in grade 5 he has AS,GAD,ADHD,Tourettes,OCD. At his last school (we changed schools at the start of last year) we had him repeat grade 2, so he should be in grade 6. He is 3 years behind in maths!! !! I have tried everything, we even asked last years teachers to teach him how to use a calculator(recommended by the autism teacher at a specialist program he attends one day a week), because maths was causing a lot of issues and stress for my boy. I don't believe the calculator was ever used. There are calculators on the kids desks, but he has never been taught by school how to use one. I tried to show him at home, when the homework came home, but this caused great stress because he teacher didn't say he could use it! This year his teachers, which are usually great, have put him in the more advanced maths group. Why??? because other wise he would be the oldest and the biggest kid in the class doing the easier math.
My son wants to be in with the younger kids, he says that it doesn't make sense for him to be in the more advanced class when he doesn't even understand the basics. He tells me he just sits there feeling bad or day dreaming, because he doesn't have a clue. He was knocked back for an aid, apparently he isn't bad enough??? When the class teacher has time to sit with him and do some one on one work he tries really hard to understand, however once she walks away she must take his motivation to work independently with her, because all work stops. The school know my son needs an aid badly, they have tried and will keep trying to get him funded but the system here in Melbourne Australia sucks.

Ok, this isn't "normal." For an AS kid, yes, it's common but for a "normal" child ... not at the level you are describing. The teacher needs to know what is going on, end of story.