My son wants to smack people

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My 20 year old son with HFA says he's having the urge to smack people and be destructive, although he's never done it. Any thoughts as to why this happens? Is it normal and Is there anything we can do about it? Thanks

He is under a lot of stress. Stress is cumulative in nature.

Many Aspies endure a high degree of stress that can over time become distress. Many exhibit meltdowns, panic attacks and a state of tonic immobility. One frightening aspect about the state of tonic immobility is the rage that is sometimes exhibited after a major meltdown. After a deep meltdown an Aspie teenager may strike out in a rampage of destruction. In a fit of rage, they may blindly attack friends and loved ones. This is similar to the rage that is vented by a wounded soldier suffering from PTSD reliving the event, or of a trauma patient.

When people get into this immobility state, they do it in a state of fear. And as they come out of the immobility state, they also enter a state of fear, and actually a state in which they are prepared for what sometimes is called rage counterattack. For example, you see a cat chasing a mouse. The cat catches the mouse and has it in its paws, and the mouse goes into this immobility response. And sometimes you'll actually see the cat bat the mouse around a little bit until it comes out of the immobility, because it wants the chase to go on. Now, what can happen is that the mouse, when it comes out of the immobility state, goes into what is called nondirective flight. It doesn't even look for where it can run. It just runs as fast as it can in any direction. Sometimes that's right into the cat. Other times, it will actually attack, in a counterattack of rage. I've actually seen a mouse who was captured by a cat come out of the immobility and attack the cat's nose. The cat was so startled it remained there in that state while the mouse scurried away. When people come out of this immobility response, their potential for rage is so strong and the associated sensations are so intense that they are afraid of their own impulse to strike out and to defend themselves.

You son needs to learn how to vent his stored stress energy. I would recommend reading a book by Peter Levine called "In an Unspoken Voice".

Thank you so much for your response. You helped us before. My son started doing the fast punches and occasionally does the sprinting you suggested. Both have been very helpful. I have shared with him about your suggestion. He's been doing 3 to 4 of those small workouts every day to help with daily stress. But I'm going on a trip and will be gone for 8 days so he's more stressed now. I agree he needs to learn to vent his stress and anger. He starts to worry and feel anxious especially when he feels like smacking other people. He's getting there, little by little. Thank you again!

You're Welcome!

All sorts of repetitive behaviors ("stims") can be used to reduce the build up of stress. In addition to the above your son can try fidget spinners, squeeze balls, chewing (gum or straws), pacing, swinging, etc.