regressing / potty training

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As many of you parents know, potty training is an ordeal with AS and NT kids alike. My son hasn't had a diaper or a pull-up for about 6 months. He's almost 4. He had progressed very well to the point where he would go days without an accident. However over the last week he has been having accidents 2-3 times a day - pee and poop. My wife's at her wits end and we're both stressed-out over this. He's now having these in public too. There's no rhyme or reason for them. We ask every hour if he needs to go. Does he know when he needs to do his business? Our "threats" have no effect on him.

Any advice would be great.

ACSDAD

My son was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Fanatic. He couldn't get enough of them. So I had him on a sticker contract, I'm trying to remember how I did it, I think it was everytime he used the toilet he got a sticker, and so many stickers equaled a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underware. He eventually earned the whole package, and did really well. Then he started to regress, I made him clean up his own mess, because he had been doing well for several months. I remember one day he pooped 3 times in his underwear, we went swimming that evening, I took him, but I wouldn't allow him in the pool, he kept asking why, and I kept saying, "Because you keep pooping in your pants, I'm afraid you'll poop in the pool." And he said, "But I won't" and I said, "You also said you wouldn't poop in your pants either, but you did." That was the end of that, I was lucky. At my group home when our boys have done that, we have them sit on the toilet with a book,magazine, or coloring book with crayons, about 3 times a day.They stay there about 10 minutes, no joining the program till they do. Which means they don't get to do anything untill they have sat there that long. Eventually they got tired of that and stopped the accidents, but it does take time. We also have them see a gasterologist in case there is a physical problem, but thats only if they are severally constipated or they complain of pain, or diaherra. Don't make threats you can't or don't follow through on. He should probably not be allowed to go anywhere untill he can go a whole day without accidents. And when he does go all day without an accident....Take Him Somewhere, the park, a walk, an icecream. And when he goes a whole week...a pizza or whatever he likes and is fisable for you. Then maybe after a month have a special big boy graduation party for him. He'd probably really like that. Another thing is maybe a grab bag, filled with erasers,pencils, cheapy little things. Maybe you'd rather go that route. He uses the toilet he gets a grab bag, or goes all day without an accident he gets a grab bag. You might come up with something better, but these are just some ideas that might help. You know your boy, use what he likes the most to your advantage. Good Luck...thats why I stopped at two, and may never get another puppy....potty training....I hate potty training. I just want it done.

My son is now 5 yrs old with Moderate Autism and it's been a battle as far as toilet training due to the numerous amount of forward progress vs. regression. It seemed each time he seemed to be getting it, he'd regress again, now at 5 yrs of age, it seems to have clicked in, we have him in regular underwear finally and hopefully will have him fully trained all day in time for school with maybe the occasional accident. Often if he gets distracted or too absorbed into something, he'll prolong running to the bathroom and will have an accident because he won't notice his body sensations but for the most part, he's finally gotten it. Some children it'll just click in at one point, others its a struggle, find something motivating for him and have patience, it'll come.

I know this isn't directly related to potty training because i haven't had any problems with my AS son in that area but this line reminded me of something. Apparently there is some link between Aspergers and Coeliac Disease (or Celiac in the US). My son has it, it's a severe allergy to gluten and the symptoms include diarrhoea, stomach pains, swelling of the abdomen etc.

A friend of mine has an AS son who has an obsession with the cleanliness of his bum and constantly worries that he's dirtied himself. She buys wet towellettes (baby wipes) for the toilet which he uses and just talks him through his fears. (Make sure the wipes are flushable).

Nerddette

I think that you should put matters into your Child's hands. Get a pair of Rubber Gloves for him, and tell him that if he has an accident, that he has to clean it up, himself.

I'd like to suggest that you don't take over, and scream and yell like a Banshee, as you're doing so. That's what my Mother did with me, and for four years afterwards, I'd only give myself permission to go, at the same time, every Evening, because I didn't like looking at my own Waste. I would have felt better about myself if Bathroom Matters were put into my own hands. I didn't have very many accidents, though.

I also didn't eat Weiners for the longest time, because their shapes reminded me of Waste.

If you're worried about whether he gets the sensation of wet/soiled, have him wear a pair of regular underwear under the pullups so he gets used to the sensation of being wet on his skin and all. It also helped us with Dylan.

I don't agree in telling a 5 yr old child to wear a pair of rubber gloves and clean it up himself. Have him help you clean it up of course but it shouldn't be a like a punishment because accidents do happen unfortunately.

Myself, I was fully trained at 1 yr old, of course this was back in 1974 and I had real issues with being upset by being wet or soiled and I wore cloth diapers as well, nowadays disposable diapers and pullups deny the children of that feeling wet sensation and all than if they were in cloth diapers. Cloth is more of a pain and upkeep but I think people would have their kids potty trained earlier once more like in the 1970s and earlier if cloth was used instead of being 'lazy' (sorry this isn't meant to be complete offense to anyone, we've used disposables with both our sons and we now regret it) just to maintain convenience but convenience comes with its price too, many of our children are later to potty train and all than they were decades ago.

You are so right, MishLuvsHer2Boys, we hear now a days about children not being able to control their muscles so it's important to wait....yet, when cloth diapers were around, and thats all you had.....NOONE SAID THAT, and children were potty trained alot earlier. When my children were babies, it was almost impossible to find cloth diapers, and when I did, I could only find a few, and it was almost impossible to find plastic pants, I just couldn't hardly find any, We couldn't afford disposable diapers because my husband lost his job, but he wouldn't touch a cloth diaper at first either, so at home we used them, and out, we used disposables. Also, I had to hand wash the cloth diapers, because going to the laundary mat would get to expensive. We just never had enough diapers to last the week.

He's only turning 4 on Friday so I'm not sure about the rubber glove idea. We're not screaming at him about this at all, by "threats" I mean taking away stuff. If anything, I wonder if we're being too easy on him. We're agonizing over this away from him. We don't want to shame him but we are trying to make him understand that this isn't ok. It's a tough balance because he doesn't seem phased by pooping his pants.

thanks,

acsdad

Yes it can be frustrating, we dealt with that with Dylan and all. His younger brother is non-autistic (at least we think he is) and he's going on 3 and still not really interested yet in potty training. So we get stuck with pullups around a bit longer.

thinking back to when we potty trained my son, he too went through a phase of not wanting to go to bathroom to "do his duty" because it would interrupt what he was doing. we also resorted to having him clean up the mess ( with help)~we didn't yell, just matter-of-factly stated that big boys don't do this....accidents are ok, but we all try to avoid them if we can. i think his aversion to having to clean up his own mess was great enough to get him to stop~whereas i could never get him in the bathroom, now i can't seem to get him out of the bathroom

Happy Birthday!! !!

You know when you put things into perspective, he won't be wearing diapers when he's 18. Some children learn faster and some slower. They eventually become potty trained. I wouldn't be too hard on him. He'll eventually get it.

I hope we get him settled before I need diapers

acsdad

My daughter is 6.5, she has no dx, I don't know that she has anything at all, yet she still has accidents. Mostly when she gets engaged in a video game or a show and doesn't want to pull herself away. When that happens, she loses that privilege for 4 days. It has greatly lessened the accidents.

I also found that children who have urinary accidents should have caffeine, equal (the "blue" sugar replacement) and carbonation removed from their diets. This stopped all the accidents outside the house where she'd say I have to go and then go right then because it was too urgent.

Hope this helps.

When our son was diagnosed with low muscle tone, I remembered that my husband said that he had had a terrible time potty training and continued to have accidents through elementary school. Although there are no adults alive who can confirm, I believe he also had low muscle tone and wonder if that affected his potty training somehow. I also wonder if it will affect our son.

I think sometimes it just takes too much concentration for some children to not have an accident, especially those with concentration issues. I think they can do it at first because they really try very hard and focus very hard, but then as life happens and they focus or hyperfocus on something else, the concentration is just not there to prevent accidents.
Please, please be very patient with them!! ! My husband says that he really could not control it or make it to the restroom in time. He was teased mercilessly and I'm sure could have used a little patience and understanding from his parents.

As for when a child is potty trained i do not think it is all that important. For me I found that my nappies made me feel safe. I bed wetted for many year (and still do) and i now find that wearing a nappy at night (or if i am particully scared) halpe me calm down and deal with the situation.

I know this is not ideal or exactally normal, but i think some of the problems were caused in part by my parenst panishing me constantly for accidents. I started wearing the nappies again in seceret so i could feel safe. After a while i was caught (by this time i was allredy living in foster care) and since then it has just be known as a jamie thing, and it is rarely an issure with people.

i hope this helps in some way. Just for the record i am 16, so i might be out of them by the time i am 18.

jammie

Rewards are OK but I don't know about making threats or taking away privledges because they have accidents. That is why they are called accidents right? My daughter (micro) and son (HFA) both potty trained "late" for those raised in the 1970's but pediatricians have a different idea about what potty training really is all about now. My MIL was one of those fiaxated with potty training her kids and I think that was a big issue (or bragging) point way back then to have your kids completely potty trained by the time they were 2. However, most kids (not all) are not really mentally or physically capable of understanding all the signals of when they have to go before 3.

Both of my kids they were completely potty trained between 3 and 4. My SIL was one of those who said her kid was potty trained at 2 - but what I saw was her constantly nagging the girl and asking her 100 times a day if she had to go potty and making her sit on the potty whether she said she had to go or not. So, I didn't consider that to be independently trained.

Also, my son did have a slight phase where he started regressing when he was in 1st grade because of "shutting down" from the stress of the classroom. So, you might want to consider if your child is under any additional stress. Or he could just be simply too intently focused on something and not recognize the signals in time. Either way - I think positive reinforcement would be beneficial.