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I am new to WP. My son is 6 and is an aspie with a high IQ. It took me a while to accept this (since his IQ was so high) I couldn’t believe it was possible. I used to think that the way he acted was just his personality, but the school thinks different. I am hoping that he will grow out of it so he can fit in.

Anna

Welcome to the parent forum and WP .
We dont grow out of Asperger's but we can learn to get on better with others and have a happy life. Its good that you know now because its not fun to suffer when no one knows, I spent most of my life that way.
Many Adults and kids with Autism have high IQ's....hope you stick around and eventually become more comfortable with your sons diagnosis.

Welcome to Wrong Planet-
Hopefully you will be able to get good advice and support from this forum.

I know the label can be very hard to swallow, but it does give us important information that will be very useful to you when times get tough for your son, as they are, unfortunately, likely to. We don't have too many schools eager to pass out a label of Aspergers so if the school came up with it, I would assume they had good reason. Honestly, I think we've got the best kids in the world. Their minds are so interesting, and lots of segments of our society are willing to embrace that. So .... maybe your son will have a hard time fitting in a normal classroom, and maybe he'll have a hard time fitting in on a sports field, and maybe he'll have a hard time enjoying parties with his peers ... but there are plenty of places he'll fit in beautifully and thrive. The trick is learning to discard any notions you or those around you have of what should make him happy, and help him find his own place. Your road has changed, but it hasn't stopped.

As someone pointed out earlier, Aspergers is not something kids grow out of, although they can learn to compensate for the limitations and become adept at hiding some of the AS behaviors like stims (if necessary). I pick my battles carefully with my son on what he should learn to hide and what he needs to compensate for; he is actually really comfortable being who he is, and doesn't care if he fits in as long as he isn't teased. Some things, though, I have to teach him the connections - that he may not care about X, but failing to learn it will hold him back on Z, and since he does care about Z ... And so it goes. He, too, is really smart, but it comes with areas where he is brilliant and a few where he is extremely impaired, and that is all par for the course. What we want is for our kids to keep moving ahead in school based on their overall talent, and not held back to deal with the areas of impairment; that is why you need an IEP and special services, for the IEP will allow the school to support the areas of impairment separately.

Many people believe that Bill Gates is AS, and that Thomas Edison was, as well, among many other famous and historical figures. Silicon Valley is considered to be filled with AS. So, all that quirky brilliance will have a place in the adult world if we allow our kids to develop their talents without squashing that all in favor of the window dressing of life. As parents, we are constantly seeking the balance, and it is no easy task. But ... I wouldn't trade my son just as he is for anything.

Welcome to WP!

Thank you for your responses. My son does have an iep and is going to begin the gifted program next school yr. I am not sure what to expect but if and when I do have questions I know where to come for answers.
Anna

One thing to consider is that it's quite possible your son's high IQ is BECAUSE of his Aspergers, not in spite of it. Your son will never outgrow Aspergers (which is autism), but over time, you may come to outgrow your negative perspective on Aspergers, and your need for him to fit in - at least, in terms of the way you likely expected him to fit in. I would strongly encourage you to check out the book Empowered Autism Parenting by William Stillman. William has Aspergers, and is a highly successful author and advocate. I also have an interview with him which you may find really insightful, as it deals with how parents should handle an Aspergers diagnosis, at http://www.welcome-to-normal.com/2010/0 ... owned.html

Welcome to WP

Asperger's doesn't actually affect overall IQ, but I think it can help focus the person who has it so they make the most of what they have. That's a whole other thread, though.

IQ measures only a limited range of intelligence styles. People with higher IQs usually do very well in school because schools cater to the kinds of intelligence that test measures, so your son is likely to have pretty smooth sailing academically. That's really good news. I've got two Aspie sons one of whom has a good solid above avg IQ and the other falls into the very superior range. My son who is the most gifted actually has a fairly mediocre IQ, but comes out profoundly gifted in other measures and does all kinds of amazing academic things. He's got a tough road ahead of him because his kind of intelligence isn't well served in schools. He's my only child *not* in the autism spectrum but he's probably the one at most risk for serious problems later on. Eldest gets a lot of services, so although he's medically in the worst shape there is more for him (in some ways).

Middle Son has the easiest time and will probably have the smoothest road ahead of him. Your son sounds a lot like him. Middle Son only has AS, which isn't a bad thing it's just a different thing that's important to understand, and he's got ADHD. He gets such good grades at school and never is any trouble to his teachers. They won't give him an IEP so he can have social skills training because they say his problems don't impact his school performance. It does, but because he's so smart he still get's straight A's. Still, he keeps plodding along and handles it very well.

Being an Aspie is definitely not a problem for either of my sons who have AS. Eldest has other problems that are disabling, but if he only had AS he'd be well on his way to a promissing career as a research scientist/engineer. Middle son will surely end up as a highly successful marine biologist specializing in something to do with sharks. His AS related special interest is Sharks and he's got the chops to make a fabulous career out of it. Without AS he might not be as focused on his career and actually be worse off than he is. No, AS isn't a problem, not even a small one, not in our house.

from Welcome to Normal. I'm very excited to find your blog and the interview with William Stillman! I'll be looking for more information on both your blogs. Thanks for sharing the positive side of autism and apsergers.

Kiley I know that's what the experts say - because there is no scientificly proven causal relationship between IQ and Aspergers, however I have my own theories on this (and most other 'expert' opinions ), especially since IQ is a prerequisite for an Aspergers diagnosis, and because of how differently an Aspie brain works both intellectually and neurologically, I think it definitely predisposes them to higher IQs and beyond that, giftedness (as opposed to IQ).

I am not trying to brag and I am just speaking for my son, but he has been reading, writing, adding, subtracting, imitating paintings of Vincent Van Gogh since 2 1/2 yrs old, he knows all 50 states and their capitals and this yr he taught himself fractions. He is going into a gifted program next yr in school. He is the only aspie I know so far, but I don’t think he is the only one with gifted qualities I hope there are more, I don’t want my son to be in a class by himself, he needs friends of his kind. I felt guilty (for a long time) speaking to my friends about his abilities in fear that they would resent me and my son for it, but a friend of mine said I should be proud because He is a true gift. There are something’s that he does that raise eye brows, but his mind amazes me and my husband to no end.

The world of an Aspie is one of justice and truth. They are very direct and rule oriented. In short, they live in a world that is pure and simple. The rest of the world is not fitting in to what should be. Fitting in means following. Train him to be a leader. He is bright and as an Aspie, he can be focused with an intensity rarely matched by NTs. I love my 2E Child more than anything (yours is also a 2E Child).

I have a blog on him and how his ABA therapy and his mother's follow through has greatly benefited him. I am sure you will find many familiar things in the blog. You may also pick up a few tips.

http://2echild.blogspot.com/