New here. Have an ARD meeting with the school today.

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My daughter will be 8 next month. When she was 6 she was diagnosed with ADHD by a doctor that specializes in ADD/ADHD. The doctor had me and the school fill out different things and then combined it with office visits to diagnose her. I felt that it explained a lot, but not everything. When she was 7 I started taking her to a Licensed Professional Counselor because I'd divorced her father 2 years earlier and he was moving 100 miles away to be with his new girlfriend and combined with her having difficulties with her classmates I thought it would be a good idea. I told the counselor that I had looked up her different symptoms/behaviors because I felt it wasn't just ADHD and Asperger's kept coming up. But I was confused because when I read about the different Asperger's symptoms some of it sounded like my daughter and some didn't. On the first visit the counselor suggested RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder) but I had remembered reading about that in some magazine article some time back regarding children adopted from different countries and it didn't sound anything like my daughter. On the 2nd visit the counselor said she didn't think it was RAD. On the 3rd visit she was looking over her notes and she asked who had mentioned Asperger's on the first visit and I said I had. She nodded her head and agreed that was what she was thinking it to be. She pulled out some books and asked me a bunch of questions and said some of my daughters behaviors definitely sounded like Asperger's but some didn't - exactly what I had found doing my own research. She told me to ask the school to evaluate her, which I have done and today at 2pm I have our first ARD meeting. We've had several RTI meetings with the school in the past trying to figure out how to help her. She ended up repeating first grade, not because she didn't pass it (because she did), but because she couldn't handle 2nd grade where she was expected to work more independently and she complained she couldn't keep up with everything so it was agreed to move her back due to, as the school put it, "academic, social and physical immaturity". I felt like this would buy us some time to figure out her ADHD meds, figure out whatever else was at play, and get things in order and set up for her to be successful going back in to 2nd grade. This school year she was diagnosed with Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome & an eye exam revealed she is far sighted. A pair of glasses and blue overlays or work printed on blue paper has helped her greatly.

If you've made it this far into my ramblings, thank you, lol. I'm just looking for some people that understand all this stuff. If you care to share your experiences regarding school evalutations, ARD/RTI meetings it would be great.

Some symptoms of Asperger present as ADD or ADHD, but are not. There is no medication effective for AS, so giving a child meds for Attention Deficit, when the real problem is Executive Dysfunction is medicating them unnecessarily. Sounds like you have a counselor who likes to throw labels around to make herself sound smart, but can't accurately diagnose her way out of a paper bag. You knew what the problem was a soon as you saw the description and even after you told her, she couldn't see it without fumbling around for weeks.

I guess it's too late now, but I really think holding your girl back in school is not a good idea. If she's academically capable of passing grades, she should stay with her class. Being held back is only going to add to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and helplessness for years to come. Better to stay in the program and get a little assistance than admit defeat from the git go. Please don't misunderstand - there will be times when she will tell you "I can't" and she genuinely can't, whether or not you can comprehend why. But as far as possible, she needs to build confidence that she can find ways to function among her peers, even when its difficult and stressful - because that's the reality she's going to have to live with long after you're not around to run interference for her.

Welcome!

I don't think any of our kids fit all the diagnostic criteria. Which leaves one question, in my mind: if we act on the assumption that the child is AS, does not make life better for the child and the family, or not? If it does, great, go with the concept. If it doesn't ... move on.

When we first heard the words AS we weren't sure it was our child, and there still are criteria that he is expected to have and does not, but time has told us that the diagnosis fits, and life is better for all of us now that we're holding this key. AS isn't something that can be cured, but understanding it is like being handed the key to knowing how your child ticks, and being given a map for how to deal with him. Granted, it's a very rough key and the map is painted only in broad strokes, but it still helps immensely.

While the world likes to emphasize eye contact and other visual signs, I've found it seems to be other things that are more pervasive among the community, at least based on the members of the community I've gotten to know:

1) Sensory issues. Officially a co-morbid, but most AS have some.
2) Executive function issues. It can be one extreme or the other when it comes to organization, but it is rarely "average."
3) The existance of extremes. Most of our kids flash between brilliance and confounding inability, sometimes even within a single task.
4) Logic base thinking (even when that logic makes no sense to you and me).
5) Missunderstanding social cues and the intentions / meaning of those around them.

Generally these kids are moved ahead in school based on their abilities, with extra support for the areas of weakness. My son is now in 7th grade and still cannot spell, his handwriting is horrible, and the workload is overwhelming, but he would have been so bored if he had not moved ahead. Instead, he has an acedemic support period instead of an elective, where he gets help with homework and practices keyboarding and editing on the computer. He has had adjustments and accomodations to deal with the difficult areas. Socially he's almost in his own world, but in some ways quite capable. He won't be ready to be on his own or away from home at college when he's 18, so we figure on keeping him in the education system far longer than normal. Which is OK; it's just what he needs.

I am not familiar with some of the abbreviations you used so it is difficult for me to respond to your precise point in the process, but I wish you luck with it all, and with getting answers that will most benefit your one unique child.

Thanks for both of your replies. The meeting went well. The Asperger's was confirmed but they did not feel that she needed an IEP and special services, they said a Section 504 would be better. Holding her back another year I think was the right decision. When she went into second grade where she was expected to work more independently she began having a lot of difficulties and she just couldn't keep up with the rest of the class. At that time we were still trying to find the right ADHD meds for her and she was also having more problems socially. I thought if she was to redo 1st grade that that would buy us another year to figure this stuff out and in the meantime she wouldn't be so stressed out. She was one of the youngest in 2nd grade, also. So now she is one of the older kids in 1st grade. She had no problem going back to 1st grade, she wanted to go back and I have seen no "...feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and helplessness..." I seen her go from a kid who came home 2 weeks straight stressed out and upset, to going back to her usual self. We were able to find the right combo of non-stimulating meds (stimulants were not for her) and she has been doing better since finding this balance. She still needs a lot of frequent reminders during the school day, but her level of distractability has improved. In the past year I've seen her become more able to focus and she is a lot calmer. Of course, the meds don't help her socially, except that she has a little bit better impulse control. I anticipate a better experience going into 2nd grade this time around. I feel like things have been put in place for her and the section 504 will have everything in writing. Her meds were worked out, the Scotopic Sensitivity Syndrome and far sightedness was diagnosed, she's had a little more time to mature, she's been involved with a school based social skills group, etc I think this extra time has done her good. I didn't see a point to forcing her to stay in 2nd grade where she was having difficulty from the get go while we were figuring all this out. To me, it was better for her to go back and have an easier year while we figured it out.