The Bond Is Stronger Than You Think, The Autism Phenotype.

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Two years ago, I was a failing, struggling, and angry child who wanted nothing more to do with the world than to sit inside and play video games. Through the gift of wonderful parents and a school that doesn't give up, I've learned alot since then.

Every day I go to the school, I find that I learn more about Neurological Differences (Many ASD's Included) than Algebra and Literature. I look at my classmates and I always wonder, where do they get it? Their little quirks and social abnormalities may not be who that child really is, but the barrier that has been created. I look and study my classmates more everyday, and as soon as I meet their parents, in fact, even if it's just one of them, I find where all of the "Abnormalities" (I hate calling it that, I really do, but it's the price of Normality that this world thrives off of) come from. I have a strong hunch that the Autism Spectrum Disorders are not from a vaccine at all. It's from something much more magical, something that lies in the very cells of the Ancestors of the Autistic child. The Autism Phenotype.

If you watch a parent of an Autistic child closely enough(No matter which one), you will see that they are just a larger version of the child, only hammered out by Society's Blacksmith that we call this world. But what's funny is (NOT FUNNY, CURIOUS) that sometimes the quirks are not directly visible through the actions of the parent, in fact, it could have gone even deeper than the first three generations (It is almost untraceable unless you have really good notes on the person, like REALLY REALLY GOOD), it just all melted together to make that child.

So that child who gets so angry at the world sometimes, or wants to shut themselves out, or even gets "Too Happy", came from the melting pot of your family, both sides, in scientific terms it could be genetic, or partial learned personalities.

Honestly, don't take my words too harshly, it isn't like it's a case of improper breeding, it's just the fact that everyone is a little different, and some of the differences "combine over the years" and stand out more than others.

I encourage you to get as much support as possible for your child or children, or that family member or whoever. Hang in till the very end, even when you can't stand it any longer, sometimes a shoulder to cry on can be the most wonderful gift ever felt by the forever-beating heart of mankind.

The bond is there, it just takes some discovery.

Excellsius

Last edited by Excellsius on 07 Apr 2010, 9:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I get a little uncomfortable when a new member has a first post with an obvious agenda and calls anyone that reads it 'my friend'. It just seems too practiced.

Is that too harsh?

Merle

As someone with AS yourself, you don't find it possible that someone might rehearse a speech to share with parents that they hope to influence?

No links to books or anything else self-serving; I think this poster has a message he wants parents to hear. Yes, he has an agenda, but I don't think it's harmful at this point to allow parents to read it. Each parent will decide for themselves if they agree or not.

I agree. I actually thought it was well written and the observations by the poster were pretty darn astute.

Keywords, right there, THANK YOU

This article, post, whatever you want to call it, is not made to change your opinion. It's more of a collection of observation and a heart-warming report. The sad thing is that science makes it complex.

I just wanted y'all to see one of the views a child with autism may have, when taken from a broader standpoint.

This article was made to display these observations in a non-critical way. It was made to hopefully give parents an idea of the child-parent bond that may feel so lost sometimes.

It's like an "You aren't so different than them" letter.

Last edited by Excellsius on 05 Apr 2010, 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

If I understand you correctly, you're essentially saying that Autism (which no rational person still thinks has anything to do with vaccines BTW) is simply some amalgam of personality traits that build up in the gene pool over a few generations?

That's the most ridiculous crock I've ever heard. My friend.
One of the most obvious clues that I HAVE Autism is that I'm nothing like my family. My parents are pragmatic, average IQ, fundamentalist Christians. By the age of 12 I had rejected everything they believe in, because I absolutely cannot abide the simplistic stupidity of it all. To this day, I cannot fathom how any reasonably intelligent human being can't see the holes in that belief system big enough to sail a cruise ship through, much less trudge day to day with absolute conviction and faith that no matter what happens, God's in his Heaven and all's right with the world.

Not to mention the fact that both they and my younger sibling socialize like pros (my dad was a minister and my sister makes her living in outdoor sales) and know literally everyone in their churches and lead groups and organize functions, all of which I have been psychologically and emotionally incapable my entire life - I'm a born wallflower who can't stand being in a room with more than a half dozen people at a time. And that's because I cannot think they way they do, nor can they think the way I do - the synapses and neurons in our brains simply react differently on an electrochemical level and construct patterns of thought in completely different ways.

Is it possible I may have picked up an unconscious social behavior or tic from them over the years? Yeah, I'd say that's likely, since I grew up in their home, but that is not the definition of Autism. The definition of Autism (especially as it applies to AS) is a pronounced variance from the norm in terms of perception and interpretation of the world in general and social interaction in particular.

Sorry, but I think you've missed the mark with this analysis. That is, if I understood you correctly.

Welcome to WP Excellsius! As a parent of a teenager with an ASD diagnosis, I very much appreciate your willingness to share your views, and I very much appreciate your well-written and articulate post. Please look around WP, and I am sure you will find many subsections that may also find your views valuable. May I suggest providing an introductory post in the "Getting to Know Each Other" section and providing a little context? Most members, sooner or later, introduce themselves in that section.

Again, welcome to WP and thanks for posting!

This article does not provide the definition of Autism itself it merely provides a theoretical view on how the traits of the given child came to be (In collaboration with autism), and also provides a discovery of a bond between the parents and the child. (In most cases) The only problem with autism is that it is SO BROAD that it immediately becomes hard to find an answer for everyone.

You know, you are absolutely right, I'm still in this same boat as we speak.



You know, it affects enough families to say that this article normally corresponds to about 2/3 cases. If you read a certain part of my article, it says that it may come from different generations (This is All In Theory) and be passed to to one or more children in a newer generation.



I will openly admit that I may have, but It just seems so visible to me when you look from OUTSIDE the family. No, I'm not judging anyone. I'm merely making an observation between the almost visible bond between the child and parent.

Autism is weird in a way that 10 years of research will provide the answer. It seems to be very selective about who it happens to fall on. What's even more strange is that the child's traits (IN SOME FAMILIES <<<<<<-----) may be visible in a less or much less active way in siblings.

I am no doctor, nor do I try to be, I simply provide a theoretical explanation based off of a few years of research and observation.
Thanks for your input.
Excellsius

I agree 100%...

I lived in Puerto Rico until the second semester of 2nd grade. I then moved to Texas, where I was placed in advance math classes in 2nd grade (yes, go figure!)...by 4th grade I was put in a "resource" class...To this day I have no idea why...I have no idea how long exactly I was there, although I do know that I was put there...and then moved out to some advance class...this time for science...I remember the kids in that class rocking back and forth in the cafeteria...I remember one specifically who was so darn cute, but couldn't speak. I remember one who was constantly spitting in his hand and then would eat it...yuck! hehe...After 4th grade I moved back to Puerto Rico and was again in a "normal" private school. I remember I was finally convinced to go to a spelling bee at the school 2days before the actually spelling bee...I came in 2nd after two days of studying. It was for kids 6-12th grade...I then moved back to Texas and was again put in advanced math classes. But throughout my entire life, I hated school...I would read a book and everyday I would begin reading it again because I had no clue what I had just read.

Now, here we are 30+yrs later and I have an 8yr old autistic son...who is JUST LIKE ME! When he was a baby and had a tantrum my dad would say "it's payback time...he's just like you..." then he was diagnosed with autism.

I have an uncle who adores my son. He's never been able to hold a steady job. He was in military intelligence, actually gets some jobs doing engineering stuff, although he never graduated college. He has been the blacksheep of the family because he can talk your ear off for ours about things that most don't care to hear about, ie. politics, the military, etc...and doesn't stop...

He had a son from his first marriage who he has not seen since he was 4...his son is around 38 now...His son's son was diagnosed w/autism a year ago at age 2...

My cousin, his other daughter is very detail oriented...doesn't sleep well, etc...everyone just called her a "pain in the butt", just like they did me, just like they did my uncle...She has two kids, one of which is fully verbal although the school is already starting to throw hints that something is off...inappropriate hugging, major tantrums if a kid ticks him off, is 5 and gets so focused he can't control his bladder...etc...etc...etc...

I go out frequently w/my 88yr old grandmother...my uncle's mother...she touches EVERYTHING in a store...it is obviously a sensory stim...and 1000s of other things that are similar to her son and all of us...

My mother, as a girl (many are less obvious) and I have a decent relationship sometimes, but she thinks I am full of it when it comes to this being autism and genetics...she says, "that would mean I am too..." which of course, she is..she is constantly picking at her skin, her hair, her head, etc...just like my son...she is great at science, building things, etc...she truly has very little "girl" friends in the same sense that I see other women have girlfriends...

So, there you go...yes, no doubt in my mind this is all genetics...or at least most...I do believe some may have more issues than others by some environmental factor, but 99% is genetics...

Hi Excellsius and welcome to WP. I am not sure I understand all of what you are proposing, or agree with it having broad applicability, but certainly in our family I have two ASD sons who very much take after myself and their dad. I chalked up a lot of their sensory issues and other "quirks" as taking after mom, and their rigidity you can certainly see in my husband. I also have one younger sister who is autistic (comorbid with William's syndrome), and another sister who is possibly an undxed Aspie like myself. I also believe that my grandmother was autistic and my mom has a tonne of traits too...so yeah, I have absolutely no problem tracing the genetic roots of autism in my family. I also really like that I can understand so much of my sons' behaviours, and I do believe that thinking and feeling similarly strengthens the bond between us.

I really hope some research is done on the Environmental Aspect. It certainly seems to have a difference. Genetics are amazing because they a play a massive role in our personalities and the way we comprehend social activity. When I look at younger cases in my school, it's much harder to determine that personality-genetic bond between the parents and the young child, but as the child progresses and is supported, I find that I see a much larger portion of the parent's personality passed to the child. One thing with ASD's and small children is that there is so much child that is "locked away". It takes A LOT of patience and a lot of compassion for the child to become who they are. I see it every single day in a loving parent's eye when they see the child do something new. It can be the most life touching and amazing thing in the world.

As a person with AS when someone I don't know calls me 'my friend' I see it as a red flag that someone is coming too near too fast. DW. Thank you for letting me know I am not fitting into the social mileau.

Merle

Excellsius what you have said about genetics being the basis is exactly what the paediatrician (as part of a multidisciplinary team) who recently diagnosed our son strongly believes in.
For myself I can see things in my sons Autism that were in myself but in his case are more strongly expressed.

Actually it gives me some hope.

Merle, you know I didn't mean to offend you.

But there is something here that might be worth discussing. I could be 100% wrong saying this, but it is my observation from watching my son's social interactions: AS can be much harder on a fellow AS than the rest of the world in certain situations. When? When the two individuals have developed conflicting scripts. Your script says red flag. But I see someone who picked up a speech pattern he saw others using, which is, "my friend," and put it into his script, perhaps without fully understanding when it should be used. My son does not have AS friends; he had one we thought was probably AS, and that blew up in a torrent of flame about a month ago. That was the one kid who has allowed my son into his circle but then refused to accept my son's quirks.

We've noticed two kinds of kids on this board: those who don't want social interaction, and those who want it but are bad at it. The later group trying to make friends with the former also can be interesting.

I guess I'm willing to sit back and see how different people react to the post and why, as well as seeing how Excellsuius reacts to those who disagree. Maybe there is something to learn from all that, as well.

my significant other and i are just beginning the diagnosis road for our 4 yr old. we have always known he is different in some way, and are about 90% sure he will end up with an asd diagnosis.

from what ive read, there is an acknowledged genetic component in asd, and thats seen in the rate of multiple diagnoses among siblings. in our own family weve talked about the idea that there is no "blame" on one side or the other, but it was the particular combination of gene pools that resulted in the beautiful perfect little boy we have.

i think the attribution of autistic traits to familial traits probably results in a lot of delayed diagnoses, or even makes it so no diagnosis is ever made. with our own son, there have been many signs that we chalked up to personality quirks inherited from either father or mother. as he has grown older and has started school, many of these traits are coming together to paint a picture that cant be explained simply by "oh he gets that from his father/mother".

of course, now i wonder if my SO in an undiagnosed aspie, and we are taking my 13 yr old to the ped next week to get a referral for an evaluation just like his youngest brother. there are so many shared traits between these two children, and over the past school year the 13 yr old has been in a new school for gifted kids and is having many problems he never had at the easier school. he has always been what we considered "difficult", and the traits he does have are not as expressed, but wow.... if through this process of getting a diagnosis and help for our youngest, we also find out the oldest has similar issues... i would not be suprised.

What exactly do you mean by "script"?

I think I see the same thing you do in the original post. We have an Aspie that has - not picked up, exactly, but mimicked - the "my friend" usage, and incorporated it into this example of his writing, without perhaps truly understanding how that idiom is normally used.

I don't think sinsboldly's reaction is based on any script, though, unless you use "scripts"to include all types of thinking that any human, aspie or neurotypical, ever uses to control his actions. Rather, sinsboldly's reaction is based on an entirely rational negative reaction to the "my friend" idiom, which is typically used - mostly by politicians - to try to push their postions emotionally, rather than allow those positions to be judged rationally. It's a logically fallacious form of argument, and that's what I think sinsboldly is reacting to.

Me, I generally have the same reaction as sinsboldly to that particular idiom; it's basically a form of the "bandwagon" fallacy. In this case, though, it's clear from the original poster is still working on his writing skills on a fairly basic level, so I chalk it up to a learning opportunity for him.