I am hosting a small birthday party for my five year old son

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all.

I am going to host a birthday party for my five year old son who is diagnosed with PDD-NOS.

I am usually not much of a party person myself (usually more comfortable with a bbq and just my sister and her family and the grandparents over).

My motivation for this party is multiple. My friend has an autistic son (age 6) and she mentioned that he had never been invited to a birthday party. My friend felt sad about this.

My son and this kid actually get along pretty good. It is neat to watch them interact at family drop in centers because they smile at each other and make eye contact and squeal at something that they find mutually amusing. Unfortunately, our schedules often conflict, so it is hard to set up a playdate.

Anyways...

The other neat thing is that she share an ABI worker who is fantastic.

I contacted my ABI worker and suggested that I would hire her for a few hours to help out at the party. This way, she can facilitate both children. Also, if one child has difficulty - she can help step in.

All in all, the # of children at this party would be between 5 and 7. There are my two kids (age 3 and 5) and her three kids (age 2.5, 4.5 and 6). I might also invite two other kids from my housing complex who would be close to the boys intellectual age (they are age 2.5 and early 4). The parents know about my son's diagnosis and I think that they would be supportive and their kids will have lots of fun.

I was thinking of having an aquarium theme (both kids have been to our local aquarium and enjoyed it).

Painting fish on construction paper and adding other materials in a collage format.

Painting rocks (they can be made to look like fish or anything the kids want)

Pin the tail on the Whale (same concept as Pin the Tail on the Donkey)

Fishing (using a box painted in sea/ocean colour and having paper fish with little prizes like stickers stuffed inside). Each child will use a fishing rod with a magnet attached. Their will be another magnet on each fish. The child will fish for a prize fish (each child will get a fish - this is a "everybody wins" game)

I was also going to make pizza crusts and have assorted toppings that each child could assemble a pizza (this has nothing to do with fish, but it sounded fun). I would serve sandwiches, veggies n' dip, fresh fruit and, of course, a birthday cake in the shape of a fish or a whale.

I might also have some planting available - (herbs like basil or parsely that can be repotted with soil in little pots for each kid to take home) and we can put together some sprouting containers (salad sprouts in jars with tulle secured by elastics). Again, this has nothing to do with fish - but it is kind of fun.

I would have the party in my housing complex's community room. There is a separate room (actually, the laundry room) in which I would put an easy chair, some sensory toys, some lavender oil spray). I would cover the washing machines/dryers with sheets/blankets and put in a lamp that has adjustable lighting. I was thinking of doing this in case either boy gets overstimulated so that either mums or the ABI worker can help the child calm without leaving the party.

Is there anything that anyone would want to add to my ideas. Any ideas of how to make sure that the boys are happy and successful. Your comments/suggestions are welcome.

Thanks.

I think that's a very good idea. Your son will love it.

Steps to avoiding meltdowns at a birthday party, based on my personal experiences:

1) Post the order of events on a board and stick to it. Following the plan is more important than meeting a time expectation, and more important than trying to make each individual guest happy.

2) Avoid anything with winners and losers (as it appears you have). The birthday child will feel like he should be the winner, but that may not always happen. Similarly, have extras of everything in case he decides that someone else got was "better."

3) Keep the noise level as low as possible.

4) Don't get overexcited about it before or during; the anticipation can really be too much, and the actual party never lives up to it.

It sounds lovely, what you have planned. I wish you much success!

You sound like you have lots of great ideas and you really understand the kids needs.
It sounds like you have enough ideas for two parties, one aquarium themed and one garden themed (planting and painting rocks.)

These are my steps to party success.

1) Start with a focussed fine motor activity, arts and crafts. This lets the kids get used to being near each other and sort of warm up before needing to really interact.

2) Move gradually from arts and crafts to a Parent led group activity, like pin the tail on the whale. This has them get to interact in a supervised way, so those with awkward social skills have a bit more direction and rules for interacting.

3) After focussed gross motor you can have them move onto a less focussed gross motor, like a running or jumping activity, or a free play. I keep the arts and crafts stuff available so the kids who are on overload have a place to go for a quiet activity.

4) After the cake have a game where kids can blow off some of the sugar rush and win prizes. (pinata, goody bag, treasure chest) Make sure there are more than enough prizes from this game, as the prizes will also be party favors.


Say good-bye and get everyone out the door as soon as they have their prizes and before the sugar rush from the cake turns into sugar crash meltdown.

I agree with D.W. She pointed out two of the most important rules, post a plan and avoid winner/loser situations.