Is it possible for an aspie to show empathy?

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My son's psych says that she doesn't think he is aspie because he is too sensitive with his sister, gives in to her, etc. He does have a previous dx but she now thinks he just has adhd. I'm not so sure about that, and honestly I don't want to change it because he is finally getting the services he needs in school. The school says they see him stimming, he has some serious social issues, and some of that is the adhd. He has a behavior plan at school and on the bus because he's going to get himself kicked off of it. The psych doesn't get to see all of this tho, he's an angel at the office, just very impulsive and distracted.

Any thoughts?

I think that it is possible for an aspie to show empathy. I feel and show a lot of empathy,

First of all, people tend to mix the two terms empathy and sympathy. Second, a person on the autistic spectrum's ability to empathize is impaired, not non-existent. I feel a lot of empathy for people in a difficult situation, if I've been in the same situation myself.

My daughter has been diagnosed with aspergers and she shows a great deal of empathy. I can remember her looking through boxes of old things to find a pacifier when her babysister arrived home (colicy) from the hospital.

It's definitely possible. My son is very kind and concerned when one of his sisters is troubled or upset by something.

[quote="CockneyRebel"]I think that it is possible for an aspie to show empathy. I feel and show a lot of empathy,[/quote

I am the same way.

Adding to the chorus of yes it's possible. I would also suggest you find your son a new psyc, one that knows what they're talking about.

I find it far easier empathising sadness and anxiety than I do excitement or joy.

I think people confuse sympathy with empathy. I have sympathy for people who or obviously upset or in pain or ill. I have problems sometimes empathizing (understanding certain emotions and feelings of others) unless I have had the same feelings or same circumstances. I really hate Psychologist who paint a picture of people with autism as self centered, cold entities with no feelings or understanding of others. We may have difficulty and what some see on the outside is not what we feel on the inside. Like sometimes we may feel really bad for someone but may be smiling....people then think that we are amused by the situation. Its just all a lack of communication. Some of these doctors learn by "watching" rather than "listening".

I don't have very much sympathy because life is hard, but I do have a lot of empathy because life is hard.
In other words, I will comfort you, but not feel sorry for you.

My son may not understand why people are happy or upset sometimes, but he shows plenty of sympathy and empathy when he DOES realize how someone is feeling (or might be feeling). If he sees something he can do to help a family member out, he is eager to do it. If someone is crying, he won't go up and hug them or ask what's wrong, but he will bring them a toy. If I seem exhausted, he will say "Mommy, go sit down in your chair" (although if I don't, he will just get more and more insistent and end up yelling at me to sit!). Just because he doesn't commiserate with people in a typical way doesn't mean he lacks sympathy or empathy. It is harder for him sometimes (he's not really sympathetic to his brother, for instance, when they both want to play with the same train) but it's certainly not impossible for him to show empathy. In fact, he is actually the only one of my children who will pull his legs up into the carseat when someone's trying to squeeze past.

Yes, but I think it depends on the aspie/autie and the situation in question.

I agree with everyone else, and practically speaking, if having the diagnosis is helping him then *fight* to keep it. The most important thing about the label is how much help it gets your child.

I second everyone else.

But also I will point out that if the issue is your son "giving in to" your daughter, that's not empathy or sympathy, that's conflict avoidance. He doesn't want to fight with her.

So I'd wonder why... is it a positive or a negative?