Acting out imaginary scenarios

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Hello, I have seen several posts by people with an Aspergers diagnosis discussing their very active immaginations as kids. I understand it can be common for children with this diagnosis to have delays in emotional maturity and social skills while being at or ahead of chronological age academically and in other areas. This seems to be the case with my son. I am wondering if anyone can share any tips on how to help a child (about to turn 5) to gain a better understanding of the line between what is real and what is imaginary in terms of refraining from actually acting out certain imaginary scenarios.

My son has a good imagination and creativity. Unfortunately, he is currently getting into trouble at school for kicking, poking, punching etc. other classmates seemingly without provokation. Having talked to him about what is causing this, it seems to be happening when he is engaged in imaginary play with a classmate and then actually acts out something physical. For example: punched his best friend who was playing policeman because he was a crocodile trying to get away from the policeman. There are several examples like this, each with it own story that was unfortunately brought to life in an inappropriate manner. We are having many conversations about imaginary versus real and about the fact that certain aggressive behaviors can be imagined but can never be acted out for real, even as part of a game and that engaging in these behaviors is never ok. Apart from repeated discussions about this and possibly a social story, is anyone aware of anything specific that we could try? I would really appreciate any recommendations or ideas that anyone could provide. Thank you very much.

NS

In my kindergarten classroom, I teach my students a couple rules to follow to keep everyone safe. It's worked with my asperger student as well. One is "no contact". I teach them to pretend to catch a bad guy and say, "Let's say I got you" and then there is no touching, just actors playing out scenes. The other rule is to make sure everyone playing agrees with who they are. They're can be lots of the same character that way. No student is caught unaware that way. They work together and play scenes out together safely. If they are inside, they build the scene with blocks and use figures to play it out ("no contact" with the figures too). The running scenes can't be played in a classroom. They save that play for the playground. They start planning their play during lunch. Again, more language is needed for this success and a teacher to organize it. I hope this helps some.

Also, it's tough to go to the real vs imaginary discussion with young children. They really believe it during that stage of development. What works best is addressing the behaviors with specific applicable rules to it. If he is told what "to do" instead of always told "don't" then he has a workable plan.

And so do you

My problem is I Still have some trouble with
my imagination.

I can sit here now and say what is real and
what is fantasy, but if I get upset or very
lonely I can start having trubble sinthesising
things that I find out later are reallly not there,
people to play with, whole families, stories,
to later have it all come crashing down and
end up in the middle of a field somewhere
not remembering how I got there or what
I am doing there, wondering where the
heck did everyone go?

This has not happend for a long time,
my brother helps out with that.

i think this is something many boys have issues with, at least mine have, both aspie and NT. the problem doesnt seem to lie in understanding the difference between whats real and imagined as much as it is understanding how hard their little fists can hit.

at home we dont limit them too much, we let them wrestle and such as long as its mutually playful. but out of the home there is a strict "hands to yourself" policy. that means at the park or school, we dont touch other people. not with hands, not with feet, not with tongues (yeah, ive had to say that), and certainly no sticks or rocks. so while we encourage the use of the imagination and pretend play, it shouldnt go so far as contact. you can explain it as everyone having a bubble, their personal space that you are not allowed to go into. its easy to remind them not to pop someones bubble.

my worst offender has always been my NT child, now 6 yr old. he is very physically adept and active, a real BOY boy. it gets worse if he hasnt had enough physical activity or has been doing a lot of quiet inside work. its easier to keep him in check when hes had a lot of physical activity or at least not long periods of low activity.

Thank you very much for all of your responses, for your suggestions and for sharing your various perspectives and experiences with this issue. You have given me some interesting ideas to think about and I will definitely be implementing some of your helpful strategies. I am very glad and thankful that he does have a good imagination and I certainly don't want to discourage that. Hopefully by implementing some of your suggestions I will help set him on the right track with this. I suppose that time will also help him to mature more and get better at understanding the line between appropriate and inappropriate physical conact.

I do also see your point about boys in general at this age. We had a playdate yesterday with NT boy and he was actually significantly more physical than my son! It did put things in perspective. My problem is that he used to get aggressive when he became over-excited or frustrated earlier on in the school year. We have since almost completely moved beyond that stage, but school remembers and is very much on the look out for any aggressive behavior on his part. Thank you again for your advice.

I remember telling my son around that age that he wasn't even allowed to pretend he was doing anything aggressive or violent. Sometimes you have to draw the line that far out until they are ready to create better distinctions for themselves and better in control of their own actions.

He got the message, and he was fine with it.

Ill have to agree that it is certainly a boy thing to play fight and make pretend weapons. They have a rule at my sons social group that they can not make weapons out of legos or point their fingers at each other and make shooting noises. Its keeps them more calm actually because as soon as they hit the waiting room you see the difference, its mass chaos .
My son is into WWII....its sort of winding down now and Im waiting for the next interest to pop up. He is more excited by the planes and weapons than anything else. Actually as I type this he is behind me in the living room running back and forth making all sorts of cool sound effects and talking to his troops !