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RightGalaxy
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21 May 2010, 8:46 pm

Wait till you hear this one: my son had a science fair at his elementary school. Parents were invited. One of the teachers overheard this and told me. After my son painstakingly put together a model of a strand of human DNA, one of the dads came over and complemented the tablecloth that the project was on. 8O Does this guy deserve a punch in the mouth in the parking lot or what? :x



psychohist
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21 May 2010, 10:20 pm

Maybe he was an aspie and noticed the tablecloth first.



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21 May 2010, 10:24 pm

that's just weird


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22 May 2010, 12:14 am

Yes. If that were my science project I probably would have socked him one right there in frount of everyone or at least fliped my middle finger at him.


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CanadianRose
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22 May 2010, 2:35 am

I'm not sure whether I would be offended or not.

Was the tablecloth particularly nice (lace or embroidered)?

Did other students have a tablecloth or was your child particularly thoughtful about having a tablecloth and this was different from the presentations of other students?

Someone already mentioned that the individual could have been Aspie themselves and, for whatever reason, noticed this particular tablecloth and thought that they were paying a genuine compliment.


If the tablecloth was standard to all displays, here are two appropriate ways to handle it.

1. Ignore the comment.

2. State, "That a unusual comment to make. The display is actually of a DNA strand. We would be happy to explain it to you"

They will either make a positive comment or ask a genuine question. If they make a negative comment about the display, you could say, "I think it's time you moved on - your comments are not welcome" and then turn your back and attend to your display and your child who worked diligently on it.

Another parent making negative comments at an elementary school science fair would simply be embarrassing themselves to anyone who overhears. Angry comebacks would be unneeded.



auntblabby
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22 May 2010, 6:46 am

CanadianRose wrote:
I'm not sure whether I would be offended or not. Was the tablecloth particularly nice (lace or embroidered)? Did other students have a tablecloth or was your child particularly thoughtful about having a tablecloth and this was different from the presentations of other students?
Someone already mentioned that the individual could have been Aspie themselves and, for whatever reason, noticed this particular tablecloth and thought that they were paying a genuine compliment. If the tablecloth was standard to all displays, here are two appropriate ways to handle it.

1. Ignore the comment.

2. State, "That a unusual comment to make. The display is actually of a DNA strand. We would be happy to explain it to you"

They will either make a positive comment or ask a genuine question. If they make a negative comment about the display, you could say, "I think it's time you moved on - your comments are not welcome" and then turn your back and attend to your display and your child who worked diligently on it.

Another parent making negative comments at an elementary school science fair would simply be embarrassing themselves to anyone who overhears. Angry comebacks would be unneeded.


that was encyclopedically civilized as well as spot-on. would that i could internalize this wisdom forevermore. my older sister is a special educator and this reminds me of something she'd say.



angelbear
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22 May 2010, 2:23 pm

I think the man just sounds clueless!



Chronos
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22 May 2010, 4:00 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Wait till you hear this one: my son had a science fair at his elementary school. Parents were invited. One of the teachers overheard this and told me. After my son painstakingly put together a model of a strand of human DNA, one of the dads came over and complemented the tablecloth that the project was on. 8O Does this guy deserve a punch in the mouth in the parking lot or what? :x


I would take that as a compliment. I always considered how I was going to fabricate my displays very carefully for projects like this.



Kiley
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22 May 2010, 4:04 pm

He may just have a thing for tablecloths or fabric. Even if he's NT, NTs can be quirky too. I like the suggestions about how to direct his attention to the DNA display.



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22 May 2010, 4:18 pm

Or his child had a project in the same category, and that was his way of undermining your son's superior work. In any case, as obnoxious as it sounded, try not to let it bother you. Otherwise he wins :wink:


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gramirez
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22 May 2010, 4:44 pm

I think people have a tendency to over-analyze others' actions/intentions...


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nostromo
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23 May 2010, 5:42 am

Maybe the tablecloth matched his shirt and he was being funny?
Maybe he had been looking for a nice tablecloth and was think out loud?
Maybe he had some sort of visual processing disorder and couldn't really see the science project?



RightGalaxy
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24 May 2010, 8:54 am

PunkyKat wrote:
Yes. If that were my science project I probably would have socked him one right there in frount of everyone or at least fliped my middle finger at him.


I like the cut of your jib! and your guts!! The one thing that bothers me about a LOT of other aspies is that instead of realizing that they've just be insulted, they sit around making excuses for a person who just treated them like absolute crapola. Maybe this, maybe that. Maybe some people are just simply jerks. As a matter of fact, ALL the tablesloths were provided by the faculty. They were all the same color with common food and soda stains on them. Some of the posts make good practical sense! but some were real "buck, buck,bagock!! !"...Gutless.



RightGalaxy
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24 May 2010, 8:56 am

Caitlin wrote:
Or his child had a project in the same category, and that was his way of undermining your son's superior work. In any case, as obnoxious as it sounded, try not to let it bother you. Otherwise he wins :wink:


Thank you so much! :)