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Adamsmama
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07 Jun 2010, 12:07 pm

My 4yr old son is very impulsive and will often blurt out things, usually bad things. Sometimes he will just sing these bad things the whole time he is happily doing something. If I ask him to stop he gets worse, and then worked up, and then a meltdown follows.
Has anyone got any experience with this? Is it possible to get him to stop?



lelia
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07 Jun 2010, 12:24 pm

Oh ho. Look up Tourette's.



oc3711
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07 Jun 2010, 12:38 pm

My son, 5 years old has just started to say 'bad' things, we believe out of frustration or to get attention. Both in public and at home he says hurtful words, which we have at first addressed, but now ignor completely, then redirect. It's a very recent thing, about 2 weeks of saying 'bad' things, but ignor and redirect has worked so far. We also have been implementing an ABA approach with a goal of him realizing that good behavior creates good things.



Willard
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07 Jun 2010, 1:18 pm

What 'bad things'??

That's a very vague and completely subjective term. Is he singing "Kill! Kill! Kill!" or "It tickles when I wipe my butt"? One is disturbing, the other inappropriately amusing, and each suggests a completely different sort of response.



Adamsmama
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07 Jun 2010, 2:41 pm

oc3711 wrote:
My son, 5 years old has just started to say 'bad' things, we believe out of frustration or to get attention. Both in public and at home he says hurtful words, which we have at first addressed, but now ignor completely, then redirect. It's a very recent thing, about 2 weeks of saying 'bad' things, but ignor and redirect has worked so far. We also have been implementing an ABA approach with a goal of him realizing that good behavior creates good things.


This is pretty much what we've been doing, the ignore and redirect.



Adamsmama
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07 Jun 2010, 2:43 pm

Willard wrote:
What 'bad things'??

That's a very vague and completely subjective term. Is he singing "Kill! Kill! Kill!" or "It tickles when I wipe my butt"? One is disturbing, the other inappropriately amusing, and each suggests a completely different sort of response.


Mostly cuss words or things like I'm gonna punch you in the face.



angelbear
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07 Jun 2010, 3:46 pm

My nephew who is almost 6 and is NT says mean things like "I am going to call the cops on you" and different things, so it may be typical behavior.......



Kiley
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07 Jun 2010, 4:27 pm

Little guy didn't talk till he was five or so. He had great receptive language skills, but didn't answer, not in English. When he started talking he came along very rapidly with a very advanced vocabulary...in every sense. As his speech cleared up enough to know what he was saying, it turned out that he could outcuss the most hardened sailor. I truly don't know where he learned it, not the words there were plenty enough slips in front of him for him to know at least the basics, but he really knew how to use them. He still doesn't know what some of them *mean*, at nine, mind you, but he knows how to insert them into really nasty phrases.

What does the F word mean?

It means sex.

Do you know what sex is?

(shrugging) No.

Do you want to know?

NO!

It took him a bit to break the habit, very embarassing. His teacher that year was extremely proper. I think she still suspects that we secretly talk that way at home.



DW_a_mom
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07 Jun 2010, 8:54 pm

Adamsmama wrote:
Willard wrote:
What 'bad things'??

That's a very vague and completely subjective term. Is he singing "Kill! Kill! Kill!" or "It tickles when I wipe my butt"? One is disturbing, the other inappropriately amusing, and each suggests a completely different sort of response.


Mostly cuss words or things like I'm gonna punch you in the face.


Odds are, like many little ones, he's picked these up from media or people around him, and has no idea they are "bad," although he may enjoy studying the reactions he is seeing the words get. With both my NT and my AS child my approach was the same: ask what they are trying to tell you by using the word, or ask if they know what it means. That will lead to a discussion about why the word should not be used and you want them to break the habit. Hopefully it's still early enough that he hasn't developed it into a full fledged habit or stim. If you feel that you will need to tell him that there will be future, specified consequences for using that word or phrase, that is fine. Kind of go with the flow on how strongly you push the issue; use the conversation and his reasoning as your guide.


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Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).


Adamsmama
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07 Jun 2010, 9:03 pm

Thank you : ) I'm afraid it has become a habit, or it may be a stim. But I will give your advice a try!