child behaviors the generation gap?

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zeldapsychology
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11 Jul 2010, 8:21 pm

First this is more about the aspect of being a parent and raising children overall (not about AS children mind you) but since this IS the parent board I thought a discussion on child behavior would apply here (give me your insight into your children&parenting views). I have 2 little sisters 8 and 10 and me/mom/dad were discussing stuff me/older sis did as children. Left alone to go play by the pool at a hotel. Walked around the town looking at shops. but mom says due to the 8/10 year old behaviors (not listening/lying/etc.) We imagine they'd be rowdy and all 3 of us mom/dad/me think they aren't responsible "old enough" mature etc. to do what me/older sis did as children. My mom & Nanny etc. have the line "Yall never did that as kids etc." So what do you think happens? Every generation seems to be different. I didn't behave like my little sisters do. Nanny says her children (AKA my mom) didn't behave like me/older sis etc. (and on down and down of course) So what happens? I'd love to dig into research on this but don't know where I'd start looking. Thanks for your input on your children and parenting views. (Hope the topic didn't confuse anyone) :-)



mommieof3asdangels
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11 Jul 2010, 8:53 pm

Hi there, I know what you mean! Have you heard the country song, It's a different world" by Bucky Covington? That is what the song is about. It does seem to change both with time gaps and just life changes. I have 4 brothers and 1 sister, Us 4 older children were always spanked or disciplined when we were little, but my parents divorced when the youngest kids were 2 and 4. My mother stopped spanking them, and pretty much removed all discipline from their lives in fear of my dad accusing her of child abuse, plus it was the 80's when spanking your kids sent out the lynch mob.. at least where I live anyway. But those 2 turned out so differently than us older 4. They are 31 and 29 now and still act as though they are "entitled" to everything, they are kinda bums too. But it is also a more scary world than it use to be, I would never let my 8 year old walk 8 blocks to school alone these days. So I guess maybe we have changed because the world has changed so much? But then again thinking back, when my 14 year old was little, maybe because I was younger and death and hurt does not seem to in flicked itself as much in the minds of youth, I was a lot less "uptight" and allowed him to do more adventurous things than I allow his 2 little sisters to do, or maybe that is just because I have experienced traumatic loss that I behave that way. Great question!! :D



azurecrayon
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12 Jul 2010, 11:52 am

i think a lot of that traces to culture and society. kids these days are more experienced, more worldly, see and hear more adult themes, and are in general exposed to much more a lot faster with technology. and a lot of them are also given less independence, kept closer to home, due to the increased violence and dangers. so you have kids clashing within themselves because they are forced to be more mature at a younger age and yet not given the independence that usually comes with maturity.

a lot of it has to do with location and perceived threats. for instance, my SIL lived 5 blocks from us in a small town. she used to let her then 5 yr old son ride all over the neighborhood on his bike and she would go hours without even knowing where he was. in contrast, our son was also 5, and wasnt allowed to play outside in the yard on his own. we sound like controlling freaks. then consider that our small town straddled a major freeway and sat on an international border that is the busiest US-Canadian crossing west of detroit. our house was one block from the freeway and half a mile from the border. someone could abduct a child from their own yard and be in another country within 5 minutes. not so much control freaks anymore, more like responsible parents.

in the same sibling set, you'll see changes too that have to do with parenting style or parents age. i am 21 years younger than my moms oldest child, by time i was being raised the older kids wore her out. i got a much more mellow mother, i didnt have a bed time, she was less strict. but they got the mom who kept the house clean, taught them how to be financially responsible, and was still alive to be a grandmother to their kids. advantages and disadvantages for us both.