sounds like skin picking, which can be just habit or a component of many different disorders (asd, ocd, etc). i do it myself, altho mine is usually picking at rough spots or scabs, but i do have one thumb that i peel constantly, and other fingers/cuticles infrequently. my 4 yr old aspie picks at scabs, and my 6 yr old NT picks his fingers and the dry skin on his lips till they bleed. we go through a lot of bandaids and chapstick!
punishment isnt going to help. its usually a subconscious behavior, and if you dont notice you are doing something, how can anyone expect you to stop?
here are some things ive tried to reduce it:
- barrier methods (gloves or bandaids). i use nexcare waterproof bandaids, they seal all the way around the area and have strong adhesive to stay on. thats the only thing that keeps me from picking spots into large scabs.
- distraction. give her fingers something else to do. a figdet to play with or some sort of less mutilating action to keep her hands busy (rubbing fingers together, tapping, etc).
- smoothing/soothing the affected area. i pick at rough spots, so i use lotion on those spots to make them less "wanting to be picked", and use a pumice stone on them in the shower to try to remove some of the dry callous skin. lotion and pumice will also work to both reduce any itchiness if thats a trigger, and reduce how visible the spots are if thats a trigger.
it can be really hard to stop picking. i havent managed it yet =/ its a two part process, first you have to realize when you are doing it, THEN you have to actually stop! i am getting good at realizing when i am doing it, but i really struggle with stopping once i realize i am doing it. its a compulsion.