Does your child do something like this?

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zeldapsychology
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16 Jun 2010, 6:24 pm

My 8 year old sister peels her skin on her fingers off till they bleed. IMO this could be a stim. She's not on the spectrum but as someone who is I see alot of traits in both my 8 and 10 year old sisters. So does this seem like a behavior your child AS or not has done and how did you deal with out or did you see it as an issue at all etc. My parents write 20x's I will not peel the skin on my fingers etc. (Writing in there eyes is how you solve behavior problems write X amount of times) LOL!



PunkyKat
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16 Jun 2010, 7:20 pm

I wouldn't make her write sentences for something she probably cannot help. My parents gave me enough hell for my stims (before they knew they were stims) but if they were to make me write sentences for them I would have grew up to hate my parents. Perhaps she has exema or something making her hands itch, perhaps your mum should bring her to a doctor before taking any punitive methods.


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blinkandimgone
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16 Jun 2010, 7:27 pm

My ex husband does this and he doesn't have AS. He does it far less now but for the first 5 years I knew him it was terrible, when we moved in together I would point it out to him when he was doing it and he would stop which seemed to help a lot. I rarely see him do it now.

I'm a huge believer in behaviour change rather than punishment, especially when it's completely unrelated to the incident. Being punished is for when you purposely do something negative, consequences are dealing with the results of your choices and behaviour change is a learning process that has no negative effects on an individual. I don't believe punishment is the appropriate measure here nor do I believe that writing lines is an effective punishment for anything. (unless for example a child were to write something nasty about someone else perhaps spending some time writing a bunch of things that are good about that person. )



starkravingmadmommy
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16 Jun 2010, 8:15 pm

I'm definitely not an expert, but it sounds like a "nervous habit" that's really an anxiety coping thing. One of my daughters, who tends to have anxiety issues, picks at her fingers until they bleed. She's not on the spectrum, though.



liloleme
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16 Jun 2010, 10:06 pm

Sounds like a stim to me. I bite the heck out of my fingers and writing sentences would just make me more upset and make me bite my fingers more. My older daughter picked holes in her arms, legs and hands. We tried celexa and also put her in home school as most of her anxiety was coming from school. We didnt keep her on the celexa long and her picking got dramatically better just from removing the cause of her anxiety (school...socializing).
When you have anxiety you need to release it in some way....maybe your parents should have her assessed, at least for anxiety.
Im sorry but I feel really bad for you little sister :( !



Kiley
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16 Jun 2010, 10:53 pm

It sounds like a stim to me too.

Eldest son picks at his scabs and skin. It upsets some of his teachers.

Middle son likes to suck his right thumb while pulling on his left earlobe with his left hand, he's done it since he was a tiny baby. Sometimes he'll also pull on his hair. He doesn't pull it out, though at one point he was on the wrong ADHD med and did give himself a little bald spot.



azurecrayon
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17 Jun 2010, 8:40 am

sounds like skin picking, which can be just habit or a component of many different disorders (asd, ocd, etc). i do it myself, altho mine is usually picking at rough spots or scabs, but i do have one thumb that i peel constantly, and other fingers/cuticles infrequently. my 4 yr old aspie picks at scabs, and my 6 yr old NT picks his fingers and the dry skin on his lips till they bleed. we go through a lot of bandaids and chapstick!

punishment isnt going to help. its usually a subconscious behavior, and if you dont notice you are doing something, how can anyone expect you to stop?

here are some things ive tried to reduce it:

- barrier methods (gloves or bandaids). i use nexcare waterproof bandaids, they seal all the way around the area and have strong adhesive to stay on. thats the only thing that keeps me from picking spots into large scabs.

- distraction. give her fingers something else to do. a figdet to play with or some sort of less mutilating action to keep her hands busy (rubbing fingers together, tapping, etc).

- smoothing/soothing the affected area. i pick at rough spots, so i use lotion on those spots to make them less "wanting to be picked", and use a pumice stone on them in the shower to try to remove some of the dry callous skin. lotion and pumice will also work to both reduce any itchiness if thats a trigger, and reduce how visible the spots are if thats a trigger.


it can be really hard to stop picking. i havent managed it yet =/ its a two part process, first you have to realize when you are doing it, THEN you have to actually stop! i am getting good at realizing when i am doing it, but i really struggle with stopping once i realize i am doing it. its a compulsion.



PenguinMom
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17 Jun 2010, 10:23 am

My 3 year old does it. She picks the skin around her finger/toe nails. She does this in response to stress. When her environment is less stressfull she eases up on it.

If we put a really sticky band aid on then she will often pick at the band aid rather than her skin.

Punishing her for it would only increase her stress level and make her do it more.



pinkdoughnut
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17 Jun 2010, 8:06 pm

Most animals (all primates) rock, pace, or pick at/groom their skin/hair (self grooming) when caged in stressful environments. It is normal animal behavior, and non-AS individuals can engage in it, so your child may just be more sensitive to stressful situations than other children for reasons other than an autism disorder. Don't self diagnose, see a doctor if you think he has AS or OCD. If you're sure he doesn't because you've already visited a doctor, try asking him about his stress level. Maybe he's feeling overwhelmed at school or isn't getting enough time to run around and play. Sometimes people bite their nails, pace, or "stim" when they are thinking, sometimes even non-spectrum people. Working out problems is sort of stressful, so the nail biting might be a response to that. Maybe he's a thinker.



willaful
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17 Jun 2010, 11:39 pm

I'm a bad skin-picker and have serious eczema problems. I recently saw a dermatologist who recommended trying to substitute using moisturizer for the picking -- every time I feel the urge to pick, I moisturize my skin instead. Not sure yet how well it will work, but I'm trying. In this case, the moisturizing also serves the purpose of being good for the eczema, but maybe you could help your sister come up with a substitute habit, since this one is damaging to her.


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mommieof3asdangels
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11 Jul 2010, 11:23 am

NOT that I agree with what your parents are doing, but I think I understand why they are doing it. They them selfs may have some traits at the very least they are probably visual thinkers and writing stuff down maybe has helped them and maybe feel if you write something down enough times, and seeing it, this will help your long term memory to "keep" the information, it is the same process for note taking and studying for a test. I would also take into account what a previous poster said about anxiety, my little brother who is also AD/HD, rocks and bites his nails or if the nail is gone then the skin around them, he, who is 29 years old, has done this since childhood and it calms him...