My son has an ADMIRER!

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Holy smokes! A postcard comes in the mail for my little boy (aspie) who is 10 now...from a gal I met at his classroom who is very fond of him. She's a very pretty, TALENTED kid (11 years old)and sang in their fifth grade talent show often pointing at my son when she sang the more affectionate lines to the song "Naturally" by Selena Gomez. I initially thought she was NT but learned that she had been mainstreamed in the third grade. I was DELIGHTED. My son was pleased with the postcard but doesn't know how to react to her greeting. He's been on cloud 9 since it arrived. I told him to just be a real good friend to this girl and not to be bullied into being her boyfriend by his peers. I didn't pick up on any romantic intention by this little girl. It seemed as though she really enjoyed his company and liked having him around. She'd take him by the hand and drag him around with her girlfriends being by her side as well. He was happily being dragged about with a big grin on his face and was as red as a tomatoe. I NEVER saw him happier. Her friends seem to accept him as well. I find this so wonderful but I still get a little nervous because they are both at the starting point of puberty and might get more curious about each other's bodies if this continues. I'd like to invite her to his birthday party but I don't want to push something that we'll all be sorry for later. Any thoughts? The strange thing is that we even like her parents! Comfortable for a change.

That's cool.

That's great for your son, not much to add here.

Simple solution for the birthday dilemma: ask him who he would like to invite. That gives him a chance to make a decision (be in control, aspies like that). You can still influence that decision off course, as he is only 10. If he likes to have her around for his birthday, then there's your answer. If he doesn't, maybe next year. Your son knows best what he likes, and it's his birthday after all.

My more or less NT daughter has been very good friends with a boy since 1st grade. The funny thing with them is that if anyone suggests there could be more to it, they go "ewwwww." For them, it is very much like brother and sister. My daughter has done sleepovers with him, including a slumber party with all boys plus her. The boy's mother was worried if my daughter would be comfortable, but we decided to leave the decision to her, and having grown up with a brother, she didn't blink an eye.

There are a couple of kids in my AS son's year who have been crushing on each other since age 10 or so, and it is really sweet. Being the sensible, well raised kids that they are (IMHO), they agreed around 6th grade to hold off on any consideration of dating until they reached high school. They socialize with each others' friends, the parents are all great friends, and it's all very age appropriate and maintained in a way that should they decide not to date, they can still be friends. Hopefully. I think the boy did try to sneak in a kiss once late in fifth grade, but that mostly ended up getting them talking about what they felt was appropriate at this point in their lives. And how do I know all these things? My son is friends with the boy (although they have less in common than they used to), and I talk with the girl's mom a lot.

There was a girl that crushed on my son around age 10 but he really isn't interested in girls in any way different than he is in fellow boys (ie purely as platonic friends) so I think she gave up and moved on to a different target. Since your son is blushing, I'd say he rather likes the attention so maybe him and his friend will end up more like the NT pair in my middle paragraph.

At this age the kids can still absorb your values and ideas on what is age appropriate, so don't be afraid to talk about it, and then don't be afraid to trust them.