Are aspie kids like this?

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Hi there
As an adult who suspects she may have asperger's but is not diagnosed - I wondered if I mention some of my childhood experiences - will parents of Aspie children let me know if they seem familiar.

As a very small child (no more than 3 or 4 yrs old) I use to go ape when ever my mum tried to take me out of the flat where we lived. I would scream blue murder and fight like crazy - sometimes ripping buttons and pockets etc from my mum's clothes in my frenzy.

I would spend hours alone in a room doing my own thing whether at home or at my nan's (upto my teens - then I stopped going to my nans at 14 and insisted on staying home alone while my mum and my sister went)

I could become very frustrated (I don't know about what) and I would bite my arms and bang my head on things much to my mums distress.

I liked to draw. I liked horses. I don't think I had any major obsessions. I was not very academic. Numbers and words have never been easy for me. I don't retain information very well. I have a poor memory.

When my parents divorced I was 11 and had no understanding of the situation. I new that my dad had had a baby with another woman but this ment nothing to me - I didn't know it was very wrong. I never had empathy for my mother.

became aware of death at 14 and started to have panic attacks. I became aware of how isolated and unconnected I was. I was very unhappy. I did not want to live. My 1st activity every day for a long time was to cry because I did not want to go through yet another day - I kept wishing I would die in my sleep.

My body trying to become that of a woman was very distressing to me. I did not want to grow up.

I hope this does not make distressing reading for parents - I'm not out to scare people - just searching for some answers.

Regards Solo x

I wasn't like that for sure, but all kids differ of course. At least it's not typical.

Every case of AS is different. My son is 5, and he loves to go places, and is very social with adults, just not with children his age. He definitely does not seem as anxious as you described your childhood. He has an excellent memory, but so far he does not appear to be gifted. He never banged his head or bit himself, but he does flap his hands. He is obsessed with makes and models of cars. My son was a very late walker (21 mos) He had speech at the normal time, but was not using it in back and forth conversation.

Did you have any speech difficulties? That is often a clue, but not always. Like I said, every case is different, but the way you describe yourself does sound like many of the cases of AS that I have read about.

Don't label yourself. Just be. My own life became a lot easier after 30 years of age. Before that, it was a nightmare. One day I woke up NOT disappointed that I was still alive and that's when life really began - when I decided to take control of it and not be subject to everybody else's daggoned baggage. If you can't have nurturing company, then it's best to stay alone.
Exercise helps. It's a basic beginning to self-care.

I loved going places, when I was little, but I did play a lot in my room, though.

My sons were eager to go places when they were small (2-5 yrs). It was once we got there that they often found it sensorily overwhelming, and melted down/acted out/withdrew and needed to go home.

Our sons do like spending time alone in their rooms, especially if they are stressed, but they also spend time in the common family areas, however our house is pretty quiet and calm. They like going to visit their grandparents, although they sometimes find the different routines challenging.

My sons also like to draw. They both do have major obsessions. They are not "academic", but I think this is because school is not an environment conducive to them learning. They are both very motivated to learn about subjects related to their special interests, and have excellent memories for details. Neither has shown a particular aptitude for math. Both have advanced vocabularies.

My sons both show great concern for both of their parents. They may not pick up on feelings or the intricacies of a social situation on their own, but will show empathy in their own ways when they are aware.

Both of my sons have increasing social anxiety as they get older and more socially aware.

So some similarities and some differences. I think it would be difficult to make a self diagnosis based on comparing childhood experiences, there is such a broad spectrum within the spectrum.

Yes kids can be like that .... My son is terrified of being in any public place at closing time ... He panics ... and I know a mom that every time she took her daughter inside the grocery store she would cry and scream at the top of her lungs... walk back out side and is was fine.
All kids are different .... I and my 3 kids are on the spectrum ... I hate crowds and public places ( this did not use to be an issue for me ) My son wants to stay home all the time but my girls love going places
I would see someone that specializes in autism spectrum disorders including Asperger's ( I have ran into several Dr's that reject Asperger's ... they are not up to date on the newer medical information out there ,,,
And keep looking for answers until you feel you have the correct answers
Traci

I just want to say thank you all for your replies.

I only ever on one occasion said to a doctor that I suspected I may have Asperger's and she immediately dismissed the idea. She put me on anti-depressants which I have now been on for about a year.

I just want to know what is wrong with me because my life just doesn't feel right (as in normal) I don't think I've ever felt normal.

I just want to feel connected.

I know it is really stupid because I'm 45 - but I just want someone to take care of me right now. I really feel that I cannot take care of myself. My diet is poor. I drink a little to much. My job is too stressful a lot of the time. I can't keep myself/my home organized.

Solo x