The Magic Button.

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The Magic Button

I remember watching a twilight zone episode where a man showed up at a person's door with a box. In the box was a button that would award the person a million dollars if it was pushed. The only string attached was that a person you don't know will die if the button is pushed. 

This episode got me thinking of an alternate scenario. Let's say that the same man came to your door with the same button in a box. If you push the button you or your child would instantly become normal or neurotypical. BUT You would be reset to the person you were before the diagnosis of autism rocked your world. The change would be instant and you would be oblivious of what has happened. My question is...would you push the button?

Of course I wouldn't press the button. My son is fine the way he is, and my world wasn't "rocked" by the news that he's autistic.

Never.

My son should be who he is, and I would never want to lose the unique person he is.

You'll be hard pressed here to find a parent who would push the button. Some with the worst roads, maybe - we've had some very difficult situations described here. But most? NEVER.

I think they've got a movie coming out on the concept, btw. Well, the classic million dollars v. anonymous person dying one.

Non sequitur.

One does not become autistic merely as a result of diagnosis. Thus your proposed "reset" would have zero effect.

Lol, I thought of that when I read the post, but I think that what the child is or isn't at that point in time isn't the real question, it's about how the reality of autism has changed one's life as a parent. But, I wouldn't cure my son regardless, and how I've changed because of him doesn't even come into play given that first step. So, you've got to first assume there is a parent who thinks having a "cured" child would be positive, but then has to wonder how that stacks up against their own personal growth and change brought about by their child. I think may have been the point to the original question, but most of our members don't think that way.

It's strange that this thread appeared this evening, because I had quite a glum day today and thought a little about how things haven't really turned out as I might have anticipated if I were given to looking ahead. But I had already come to the conclusion that I wouldn't change any of it because I am the sum of my experiences so far and even though some things have been tough, particularly having two failed marriages behind me and some uncertainty over my imminent future plans, I am content with my life as it is. I have a lot to be grateful for and a lot to look forward to.

And my son is the biggest blessing of all.

DW- you literally typed word for word what my reply was going to be.

Marcia- looking at what you've been through...I love your attitude. I also feel like my son is the biggest gift ever.

I wasn't looking for a right or wrong answer, nor was I going to pass judgement on anyone that said YES. I'll be honest with you: If someone asked me this question a year ago, I would have hit the button without even thinking about it. But over the last year, I've met so many amazing passionate people, I've been apart of some awesome events, and above all I've grown so much as a person. I actually like the person I have become. I'm more compassionate and a hell of a lot more grounded than I was before all of this.

I asked my buddy who has 2 children on the Spectrum the same question and he said it best , "No I wouldn't push the button. Who knows what kind of stupidness I would be into right now if I didn't have my kids."

I'm thankful that I've never had that magic button, that my parents could press. I'm perfect, just the way I am.

You don't know how inspiring it is to hear that. Thanks! My dream is that my son will be able to type what you wrote when he is older.

Just for the record my son is 5 years old and was diagnosed with Moderate Autism 2 years ago.

I kind of wish my parents would press the button. It'd be easier for them, and for me.

Wow. I was looking at this solely from a parent's perspective. So to see responses from people on the Spectrum is really eye opening.

I guess the real question behind the whole Magic Button scenario is....Are you happy? Buryuntime....I would encourage you to share this post AND your response with your parents. At the very least, it will spark some meaningful dialogue. If they are anything like the other parents on this thread, I would imaging they would have a very different opinion than yours. Always remember....You are a gift.

My son has TOTALLY transform me from a superficial, materialistic, arrogant hot head into a much more humble, deeper, focused person. Like my friend said...I don't know what kind of stupidness I would be into without my son.

i will be honest and say that i probably wouldnt press the button, but am not 100% sure. i love my son dearly and really cant imagine my life with him any other way. he is beautiful and perfect in my eyes. ive heard some aspies talk about how wishing them cured or not to be autistic means not loving them, but if he was different, if he was more or less affected, i would still love him just the same. he is my CHILD. if i love him with autism i would love him without it too. i will always love him, regardless of whether he has autism or not.

i read threads in the general discussion forum, and see aspies talking about how they were bullied growing up, felt isolated, hate the world around them, even who wish they hadnt been born. so yes, sometimes that button doesnt sound like a bad idea.

there are plenty of reasons to push the button, and none of them have to do with how much i love and accept my son. they all have to do with the world out there and how its going to treat him.

now, if you had a magic button that would make the world change for him and love and accept him just as i do, i would be all over THAT button like white on rice.

Ah, I just got your latest response:

I thought maybe you were saying that you were autistic also and wanted to push the button for both of you. Okay--I duck out now: I have no kids and never will, so I'm not qualified to have an opinion.

I wish you and your son well!

P.S. Despite the difficulties I've had in life (I couldn't function independently until I was 28 years old, and still have a lot of anxieties about it), I'm glad there was no such Magic Button--I deserved at least a chance. When I can no longer function independently, I'll remove myself from the population of earth, but that will be my decision and no one else's.

CTBill- No need to duck out...I'm not judging anyone's response. The mere fact that you know you can function independently is a testament to the hard work you and your family put in. This may sound tangential but your resposne reminds me of my favorite line from one of my favorite songs Just Wait by Blues Traveler:

I hope for you and cannot stop at hoping
Until that smile has once again returned to you face
There's no such thing as a failure who keeps trying
Coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace

Amen to that!