Worried about my daughter

Post Reply New Topic

My five year old daughter with PDD-NOS is about to enter kindergarten - and I can't help but feel apprehension. She did great in preschool, learning social skills, making friends, and developing her motor skills. But she is not a quick learner, even though she is clearly smart, and she really doesn't understand how to socialize with NT kids - just recently, one little girl at the laundromat shrank away from her in fear when my daughter tried to make friends with her. While it is true this kindergarten she is going to attend specializes in children with developmental delays, I guess I am recalling my own childhood experiences which weren't always happy.
Should I be worried, or am I letting myself be caught up in my own past?

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

It's understandable that you're apprehensive - it's always difficult for a parent to send their child off into a new and unknown environment, and even more so if you are aware of potential pitfalls, and yet more so again if you have bad memories from your own childhood. But your daughter isn't you, and I think you are already aware that you are perhaps putting your own bad memories onto her.

From what you say, she already has good experiences to take with her into kindergarten and to develop in this new setting. Try to be positive and focus on encouraging her and listening to her experiences, rather than dwelling too much on your own.

My son's experience of school has been radically different from my own. When he started school I, like you, started reliving my own bad memories of school, but he has a very different personality from me, and also the school environment now is very different from when I was at school. He loves school and runs into the playground every morning. He doesn't have a lot of friends, but he does have a small group, and his interests in Pokemon and collecting football cards mean that he has a way of engaging with the other children who aren't part of his small group.

Try to be positive about this, and keep actively engaged with the kindergarten staff and with your daughter. That way, if there are any problems you should be aware of them early on and ensure that they are dealt with.

I hope it all goes well, and that you and your daughter enjoy this new stage in her life.

Thanks, that helped.

-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

As a parent, I find it very, very difficult to separate myself from the little girl I was. I try to keep my emotions to myself and sort through them with my husband later. It doesn't make this whole thing any easier, because when my son has a difficulty at school, I have to spend some time trying to look at it clinically while being in a very emotional state.

However, if they're doing their job, schools are there to help, and I think they've all dealt with emotional parents before. Many have support groups for parents with disabled kids; it really helps to talk things through. (Or do it here, like I do!)

I think Marcia had the perfect response; I really can't add anything. Fears are normal, and not always counter-productive; just be sure to keep them in their place.

Good luck! It is a big step.