crossing the street

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My son has been so responsible while walking to and from school, reminding me not to play any games while we're crossing the street, I've been thinking he's ready to do the walk on his own. This morning I suggested he take the last bit, including crossing the street, by himself, while I stayed behind and kept an eye out. Alas, he stalled at the crosswalk, not understanding that the cars were waiting for him. Luckily the drivers didn't get nasty and start honking, but I had to go and take him across.

I hadn't thought about what a difficult skill this could be. Figuring out when the driver is aware of you and waiting for you, while also keeping awareness of what's happening in the other direction. Especially for someone whose gaze tends to be so specifically focused and not on other people. I'm not sure how to work on that skill.

(He could do the walk home alone because there's a crossing guard after school. I kind of hate to give up that time with him, though. He's so cheerful and talkative and happy to see me.)

Maybe wait a little longer? No sense it forcing him before he's ready, and making him anxious. I am grown, and crossing the street still fills me with anxiety. It is like doing a complex math problem, and I can be easily distracted and have to start over. I have learned to make eye contact with the driver before crossing. Often, it's even more dangerous because people are talking on cell phones and not paying attention.

I first walked across streets at around 15 years of age. It requires a lot of being able shift your attention and being able to read intentions. I was rather clueless of people waiting to let me walk past. I would also walk looking down or up, and would get lost in thoughts while walking, which is obviously problematic. And it made me more anxious. Otherwise I liked walking.

I know of an autistic guy who walks, but won't cross the street if there is a running vehicle within sight. I don't think I'd suggest having a person who has trouble shifting attention, especially a young one, to cross streets unless it is necessary.

Oh, he wanted to try it! He likes being independent.

Yes, that's what I realized today. I thought that as long as he used the crosswalk, it would be okay, but I didn't realize the subtleties of it. Oh well, no harm done. Now we know it's something he needs to learn.

We've been letting him play outside for awhile, so he does have some experience with traffic, but that involves staying out of the way of cars rather than reading the drivers, so it really is a different skill set.

I think the general recommendation for kids crossing the street on their own is 8-9 years old (and this is for NT kids). Earlier than that their hearing, depth perception and particularly peripheral vision are insufficiently developed to make it safe to do on their own (of course this could vary depending on the particular child, busyness of the street to be crossed etc). My sons are now 10, and one can go through all the steps involved in crossing the street in a fairly consistent and safe manner, and the other...not a chance. He simply can't pay enough attention to be anywhere near safe.

Oh, wow, I would have never considered that either! Being able to tell when others, drivers, have acknowledged him!