NT Child (when does this behavior go away?)

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I have a nephew (since I know some of you have raised NT children I thought I'd ask here although this is about AS children I was curious about something.) My nephew who will be 3 1/2 in Nov. cries whenever he leaves grandma's house obviously this is normal behavior he wants to stay with Grandma and loves playing with his aunts (my little sisters 8 & 10). So when does this crying over leaving Grandma's House stage go away? (Even picking him up from school and him coming over afterwards later Mom or Dad pick him up cry cry cry) Thanks. WP.

My first impulse is to say that there's something wrong at home.
I don't think it's normal.

I think it sounds like a fairly normal separation anxiety. he probably doesn't want to go home becuase there are more rules at home... grandparents are kind of magical to little kids.

There isn't a lot of information here, so I don't know that anyone can give you an accurate answer. However, one answer might be that small children are troubled by transitions just like adults with AS can be, and this can cause them to cry. 3 1/2 is quite little, I think our kindergarten teachers consider this kind of behavior "normal" for their students.

I have a neurotypical daughter who will cry when asked to leave something that she is enjoying (e.g. a visit to grandparents house, early departure from the playground, enjoyable playdate, etc). Even NT children do not like to transition between a preferred activity to a less preferred activity.

I think that it will get better soon.

I use a few techniques learned from working with my autistic son.

I give my daughter a clear indication of how long a visit or activity will last. Let's say it will be 1 hour. I tell her (regardless of whether she knows exactly what "an hour" is). At least she knows that this is an activity that will end. I give reminder as the time passes at 1/2 hour and then at the last 15 minutes, last 10 minutes, last 5 minutes, last 2 minutes and then we go. This way, she is aware that the activity will end and is ending.

When moving from a preferred activity to a lesser preferred activity, I might remind my daughter of another preferred activity that is upcoming. For example. "First, we get into the car to go home, then we will make pizza for dinner!! The getting into the car is the less preferred activity - but they are motivated by what will come next (making pizza).

Finally, another technique is to offer choice. If I was to have my daughter leave her grandma's house, I might say, "Would you like to walk to the car or would you like me to carry you on my shoulders?" The child has some control over the situation and is also distracted by the choice itself. I find a lot of success using this one.

Again, my daughter is NT. Crying over having to do something she doesn't want to do is not abnormal (having constant, lengthy tantrums would be more concerning). Regardless, I find many of the techniques that help with behaviour management for my autistic son also work with typical difficult behaviours with my daughter.

Assuming this is a normal variation on separation anxiety, most kids outgrow it before age 6, and some a little later.

It might help to know that the average child stops crying about 5 minutes after the separation. My AS son, of course, did not - because nothing with him was ever "average." But my NT daughter did exactly as all those child care workers all those years had expected my son to act: 5 minutes in, crying is over, transition made.

Thanks. The idea of giving a time doesn't work that much. Just the other day Mom/Dad (his parents) said we are going to Nana/Pop Pop's for dinner then are coming back to get you and going home. He promised he'd be good/not cry but yet again mom/dad came picked him up CRY! It's a normal behavior thing constantly. We reminded him he'd spend the night at Grandma's Friday (this week) and Next week so that's something to look forward to. Hopefully he gets out of this stage soon.

I don't buy it that there's no way to give him a time. When the parents are 10-15 minutes from the house, they should CALL GRANDMA. So, then grandma can prepare him for his leaving. Then, when it is time to go, why rush out the door? Come in, let him say what he did with grandma, etc. and then "OK, in 5 minutes we're going."

is there a child in the world who would just leave without making a fuss? I know my NT kid needed warning and time to transition - more so than my kid with autism.

LOL! this just reminds me of my niece and nephew! The are both NT kids. My niece is 8, nephew is 6. They have ALWAYS loved going to Grandma's house. Their grandma lives right around the corner from them, and they just loved being there. Of course, they got lots of treats and grandma's undivided attention! You would think the end of the world had come when they had to go home! I agree with DW, I think my niece stopped throwing fits around 5, and of course her little brother did everything she did, so I think he got over it a little earlier than normal, maybe 3.5/4,
I think it is completely normal and nothing to worry about!

Hard to say. It could go on until he is 5 or 6, or it could just turn into getting in a bad mood rather than crying.