Is he on the spectrum?

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Hi all,
I have two boys, one 20 and one 11. My 11 year old has been dx'ed AS,ADHD,OCD,GAD and tourettes. My 20 yr old obviously has issues but no autism dx. I have known for many years something was up with my oldest, I even took him to doc's when he was younger, I've signed forms at school to have him assessed but no one followed threw with the assessments.
He is out of school, has been for 12 months now. He has been working with a disability support management employment service to try and help him find suitable employment. They haven't been able to yet and are now referring him on to an even more supportive employment service.
He had an iq test done at the employment service where they are saying his iq is 80 they are saying he has an intellectual disability (they know 70 is the cut off). I think he is on the spectrum but due to his age it has never been picked up on. To have him assessed now would cost me an arm and a leg, I'm not in the financial position to do this. I will do my best to give you a brief outline of some of the behaviors.

Has severe separation anxiety, so bad when younger would physically get sick or bring on an asthma attack.
Doesn't have friends, he knows some people but doesn't go out socially at all. When younger he had 1 friend he would play with when he had to, but would avoid playing with this child if he could.
Tends to be very literal.
Will say what ever he is thinking, even if it has nothing to do with the situation or comes across as sounding silly/immature etc.
Is a picky eater.
Will only wear certain clothes/shoes
Doesn't like change
Is a hoarder
Has extremely poor time management skills
Couldn't organize anything to save his life
Doesn't like any form of sport or physical activity.
Often complains about noises/lights/smells etc
When he is interested in something he is highly motivated (at the moment it is german shepherds)
When not interested, he will avoid, forget etc
He can come across as "normal" he will agree with whatever you are saying in a conversation, but then within minutes has forgotten or not understood a word that was said to him
He is very shy, wont talk to people unless he knows them or is with someone he is comfortable with. Often not even look at the persons face.
His hygiene isn't great, I have to specifically tell him to use soap or shampoo etc or it just doesn't happen
Doesn't pick up on my change in mood, I have to say X I am cross or X I am sad
He is very honest, has tried to lie but isn't good at it.
Strong sense of social justice
He spends most of his time, watching movies (most are shows he has already seen) or on his pc or playing console games or training his german shepherd
He fails to see the obvious stress he is causing his younger brother when he teases him or deliberately annoys him
He is fantastic with most hands on trade type things but can't do the written academic type stuff behind it, eg tried a bricklaying course and could level the wall by sight and was top of his group, however couldn't deal with the writing/maths part or the on sight tradies. Can fix a computer but can't explain how
Don't get me wrong he is a great kid, I wouldn't have him any other way. At least I know where he is all the time and he isn't out breaking the law or doing what some other kids his age are doing, but it's sad because he is also not enjoying all the benefits of others his age.
I have to organize everything for him, fill in all his forms, plan his days, remind him to bath, beg him to shave, manage his finances etc etc I feel like I am living my life and both my son's lives its all very exhausting sometimes.

Ok I think thats enough, so what do you all think.
cheers

Aurea

He sounds like he is on the spectrum for sure, IMO.

I think you should have him assessed and diagnosed. I know it is expensive, but worth it. It can open up all kinds of therapies and opportunities for him if he is dx'd ASD. He could get the proper help he needs to become a functioning adult. Also, if he is unable to work, he can possibly collect social security. Think of it as an investment in his future, because that is really what it is.

I would also have him assed because of his IQ. Do you think his IQ is really 80? I am not saying anything is wrong with that, but my concern is that IQ results of ASD people/children are often extremely incorrect. You don't want him labeled as mentally challenged when he could actually be quite smart and gifted. My son has had 3 IQ tests in the past year. The results ranged from 108 to 140. That is a big difference, especially because each 'point' is not really just one point. This is very common in our kids. Often children with ASD are mislabeled with another disability - traditional IQ tests are not valid for ASD people/kids, IMO.

I agree with everything BJ said!

Good luck to you and hope you and your son can find some help very soon!

Welcome to Wrong Planet! I think this will be a good place for you to get help and support-----

He may well be on the spectrum, but I actually had an employment thought reading your post. Has your son considered starting a dog walking business? Is he good with all dogs, and not just his? He isn't likely to do well with a job unless it interests him, and when you mentioned that he likes to play with his dog, I felt like I'd found the one thing he might be able to turn into a job. He'll need someone like you to track the schedule and keep it organized, but if you are willing to partner with him on it, you might be able to make it work. Think outside of the box

Thank you every one.
Firstly I want to say, I'm sure his iq is higher, however iq tests are designed for NT's and I don't believe my son is NT. In saying all that though, he has to fit in an NT world at the moment so in an NT world this is what he would score. If it was an NT world with adaptions he would score much higher.
Dog walking, he did a trial work experience as a dog walker for a company that supposedly hire people with disabilities. At the end of his 3 unpaid shifts an email was sent to his employment support worker that said he didn't have a place in their company. They also complained that when his shift finished at 11 he left at 11 , and he came back sweaty after walking the dogs they were giving him, they were giving him the hard to manage aggressive dogs. He came back with one of those hard to manage dogs walking to heel.
He is fantastic with all dogs, it seams he doesn't even try they just listen to him. Even his employment support worker knows and is trying to find him a job in the pet care industry.

I'm thinking the IQ issue might be important because if the people trying to help are only giving him jobs they assume are appropriate to his intellectual capabilities, it might be a very bad fit.

Do they have any support groups for parents with special needs kids in your area? They might have some good ideas.